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Duaner "Dirty" Sanchez

A Boy Named Seo Jan 31 2006 02:25 AM

Willet's Penthouse Forum post in one of the NBF threads made me laugh really hard at first, and then think of one of my favorite things in the last recent months: corny names for really filthy sexual acts. You know a bunch of them even if you don't know what the hell they are, and truth be told, you're better off not knowing what the hell they are. And that's the beauty of it. The Kansas City Bow-tie. The Alaskan Pipeline. The Hot Karl. And so on. There's the Cleveland Steamer, presumably a mid-western term, which is known in the unforgiving, Arizona desert wasteland as simply Hot Snakes, while the westcoast peeps refer to it quite casually as the Pasadena Mudslide. Thank God these terms don't appear on nationwide standardized tests. Expanding on one's vocabulary via the [url=http://www.urbandictionary.com]Urban Dictionary[/url] or the famed [url=http://www.milkinfirst.com/dictionary/profanisaurus.htm]Profanisaurus[/url] does not become truly fun or rewarding until you realize that it's all about the name and not the unspeakable, horrendous act the name depicts. The beauty, in fact, is that the name itself, so innocuous and innocent (i.e "The Rusty Trombone") is so unassuming and silly, that if you didn't know any better, could be a trick a clown would perform at a six-year old's birthday party, let alone something that would make you blush talking about it in front of convicted felons (convicted of sex crimes, no less, who probably became birthday party clowns after parole!!!). So get this. A friend of mine from my Warner Bros. days called me up some time ago last year, and said a friend of hers from a station in NYC they used to work at together was in town for the weekend. She called on me to be their tour-guide in and about Hollywood, and to take them to the good rock clubs and who and what. It was an innocent lunch, the first meeting for me and the visitor (who was white-hot, by the way... this piece of information added to merely provide this anecdote with a bit more detail for the gentle reader), and as we enjoyed our Thai food at a kind of upscale Hollywood eatery, it was out of the clear blue nothing that the mysterious and enchanting stranger asked me, "Say, Jake, you ever heard of the Dirty Sanchez?". I didn't know whether to vomit all over the Phad Tail Noodles or to kiss her dirty mouth right across the table. Perhaps both would've been appropriate. So the question: Who's heard of some of this crazy shit, too? (I know Sal has, because he called me out in the Seo trade thread when I mentioned the Duaner "Dirty" Sanchez nickname). And follow-up question: Who gets a bang out of it as much as I do? I think it's fantastically hilarious. Anyone else as disturbed as moi? Extra credit: Name your top 3 "acts" without definitions. Please no freaking definitions. The name be where it's at. The imagination, I'm sure, will more than make up for the lack of detailed info. Not exactly recommended for all-ages audiences, or audiences with a shred of morality, for that matter. A friend of mine and I have already created The Angry Hangman, The Slippery Elf, and in a tribute to one of our favorite performing and recording artists of all-time, one Willie Nelson, we've dubbed an act The Red Headed Stranger. Again, you don't want to know. You don't want to know!!! Now what the hell do you think of all this filthy nonsense? Any bit as funny as I think it all is? Go!

Elster88 Jan 31 2006 04:44 AM

*yawn*

A Boy Named Seo Jan 31 2006 04:58 AM

I don't know the *yawn*, but I've come up with 4 possible acts that it might entail! Nice work, Elster!

Edgy DC Jan 31 2006 07:22 AM

An awkward topic. I guess that Timothy Hutton movies sound like depraved acts of lust. Turk 182 The Temp 'The Falcon and the Snowman Your "San Antone" song isn't as moving now that I know you're being filithily propositioned by white-hot strangers.

Willets Point Jan 31 2006 09:08 AM

]Willet's Penthouse Forum post I made a Penthouse Forum post?!?!?!

DocTee Jan 31 2006 09:10 AM Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Jan 31 2006 09:22 AM

One of the funniest scenes in "The 40 Year Old Virgin" is when Steve Carell's Indian coworker, attempting to convince the poor guy that sex is overrated, rambles on and on, rattling off things such as... "who needs the Cincinnatti Bowtie? The Dirty Sanchez? The Rusty Trombone...etc etc etc" EDIT: multiple spelling errors

ScarletKnight41 Jan 31 2006 09:17 AM

I think Seo meant soupcan's post.

Johnny Dickshot Jan 31 2006 09:53 AM

High inside screwball Warning-track drive bunt-and-run

Edgy DC Jan 31 2006 10:15 AM

Well, if you're going to be like that: The Baltimore chop The hidden-ball track. Playing a little chin music.

soupcan Jan 31 2006 10:16 AM Re: Duaner "Dirty" Sanchez

="A Boy Named Seo"]So the question: Who's heard of some of this crazy shit, too? (I know Sal has, because he called me out in the Seo trade thread when I mentioned the Duaner "Dirty" Sanchez nickname). Me. I have. ="A Boy Named Seo"]And follow-up question: Who gets a bang out of it as much as I do? I think it's fantastically hilarious. Anyone else as disturbed as moi? Eh. ="A Boy Named Seo"]Extra credit: Name your top 3 "acts" without definitions. Please no freaking definitions. The name be where it's at. The imagination, I'm sure, will more than make up for the lack of detailed info. Not exactly recommended for all-ages audiences, or audiences with a shred of morality, for that matter. Dog in The Bathtub Angry Dragon The Fish Eye I actually tried the 'Dog in The Bathtub' once. Not fun. Painful in fact.

Edgy DC Jan 31 2006 10:23 AM

Gott in Himmell! What hasn't Soupcan done? He's been gratified with Synchronicity spinning. He's been propositioned by a masseusse at a cycling rest stop (and, I know, it's hard to make a sexual impression after 100 miles in cyling shorts). And he's been chased around with a knife by an adorable dimpled maniac.

soupcan Jan 31 2006 10:29 AM

Edgy DC wrote: He's been propositioned by a masseusse at a cycling rest stop I don't remember telling you guys that story, but apparently I did.

KC Jan 31 2006 10:32 AM

a 'tweener a two hop double going into the stands flashin' some leather

DocTee Jan 31 2006 10:37 AM

Around the Horn Tossing on the Side Coming From Behind

Nymr83 Jan 31 2006 10:43 AM

i never want my cursing mentioned again by any contributors to THIS thread.

Methead Jan 31 2006 11:22 AM

Frozen Rope Headfirst Slide Can o' Corn

MFS62 Jan 31 2006 04:30 PM

Home run in an elevator shaft. Bust 'em inside. Later

metsmarathon Jan 31 2006 05:39 PM

"later" heh. Eskimo's Refrigerator

SwitchHitter Jan 31 2006 06:23 PM

backdoor slider grand slam splitter Oh, and how I tweaked my Achilles tendons Sally's sundae

OlerudOwned Jan 31 2006 06:30 PM

Going through UrbanDictionary, I once found the Hairy Monkey, That was interesting. Slightly on topic, one of the top 100 Chuck Norris Random facts was about how Chuck Norris doesn't teabag, but rather "potato-sacks".

cooby Jan 31 2006 06:48 PM

I have always enjoyed playing "hide the salami"

DocTee Jan 31 2006 07:19 PM

Toein' the Rubber What we really need is one of more accomplished literati to compose an essay employing as many of these terms as possible. To hell with the Song Parody, let's have an essay contest.

A Boy Named Seo Jan 31 2006 07:56 PM

Bret can use some of these in his Anna short story. Back-door slider... That one cracks me the hell up. Willets, sorry for implicating you as the Penthouse Forum guy.

Willets Point Jan 31 2006 08:45 PM

A Boy Named Seo wrote: Willets, sorry for implicating you as the Penthouse Forum guy. That's okay, it just had me wondering if I'd logged in and posted while drunk (again). It's an honor to be confused for the Captain.

Rockin' Doc Jan 31 2006 09:44 PM

Nymr83 - "i never want my cursing mentioned again by any contributors to THIS thread." Most of us are just talking baseball. Grand slam High hard one

MFS62 Feb 01 2006 05:55 AM

Sanchez wasn't the only player with a suggestive name. I found this on the DickieThon Fan Club - Underground board. It was written by John Brittain, who has visited this board before, and has been quoted by other posters: Top ten baseball names that fit in this thread. 10. Bob "Rapid Robert" Feller 9. Lou "The Iron Horse" Gehrig 8. Pee Wee Reese 7. (very) Randy "The Big Unit" Johnson 6. Ted "The Thumper" Williams 5. Mel Harder 4. Wee Willie Keeler 3. "Poosh ‘Em Up Tony" Lazzeri 2. Joe "Iron Man" McGinnity 1. "Willie Stretch" McCovey Later

Willets Point Feb 01 2006 08:39 AM

I just looked up the definition of dirty Sanchez on urban dictionary. EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

cooby Feb 01 2006 08:40 AM

Could be worse, you could be the recipient

Willets Point Feb 01 2006 08:41 AM

Either way it's debasing.

Benjamin Grimm Feb 01 2006 08:46 AM

Ewww is right. This part I don't understand: ]this is 99 percent effective.... In this country, such percentages are not possible.

Benjamin Grimm Feb 01 2006 08:49 AM

Wow, the Dirty Rodriguez is even worse. And I hope nobody ever does the Dirty Sandy Duncan. And that does it for me. I'm never returning to that site.

Edgy DC Feb 01 2006 08:51 AM

I regret dipping my toe in this puddle.

Edgy DC Feb 01 2006 08:52 AM

Now I need new shoes.

Benjamin Grimm Feb 01 2006 09:26 AM

I think I need new feet.

Bret Sabermetric Feb 02 2006 03:54 AM

Once, I pitied a man who needed new shoes, until I met a man who needed new feet.

TheOldMole Feb 02 2006 04:24 AM

How about Dick Pole?

MFS62 Feb 02 2006 08:49 AM

TheOldMole wrote: How about Dick Pole? Ding Ding We have a winner. Later

TheOldMole Feb 02 2006 01:40 PM

And Pete LaCock?

Willets Point Feb 24 2006 02:31 PM

According to Dan Savage, "Pearl Necklace" is out. "Cheney" is in.

Rotblatt Feb 24 2006 03:11 PM

Yeah, Dirty Sanchez came to my mind when we signed him too. In Dodgeball, the bar where they drink after their TKO of the Girl Scouts was called the Dirty Sanchez. Good times. And now for my contribution (if you can call it that): The Sieg Heil.