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I volunteered to MilwauKTEe mostly because I wanted to take on a team I had never done before, and I’m running out of them in the National League. Outside the division, I’m basically down to the Padres and the Brewers, which is appropriate in that the Brewers are the Padres to me, except two time zones closer.
Who’s on the Brewers? I had to look it up. I hardly ever think about the Brewers. When I do think about the Brewers, I think about 1982 and the years surrounding their only pennant. I’d hazard a guess that’s a common instinct among the heart of the CPF demo. Bambi’s Bombers. Harvey’s Wallbangers. Gorman Thomas’s gut hanging over his belt. That sort of thing. Bring on Yount and Molitor! They’re probably not moving all that swiftly these days.
The Brewers made history by being shoved from their natural habitat in the American League to where real baseball is played in the National League. Milwaukee hasn’t played host to a Designated Hitter since 1997. The Designated Hitter is an unnatural creation, but if one has to exist, we instinctively expect it to be lumbering around County Stadium.
Also, County Stadium no longer exists. The nerve of time and progress and whatnot.
I’ve vamped a good four going on five paragraphs before approaching the topic at hand, namely the 2015 Brewers who are coming to see us this weekend. You may have heard they replaced their manager and noticed they remain mired in last place. (How come nobody’s ever mired in, say, third place?) Craig Counsell has succeeded Ron Roenicke. What’s he doing differently?
Whatever it is, it doesn’t seem to be having a transcendent impact. They’re eleven games under .500, 12½ out of first. Sounds like a good time for us to get overconfident, eh? Only until you remember (or discover) the Brewers a week ago took two of three from the same Cubs who just took four in a row from the Mets.
Pythagoras has no idea how baseball works.
Anyway, how about that Adam Lind? I looked up some Brewer stats and discovered Lind is leading the Brew Crew — gotta call ’em that at least once, I figure — in every offensive category. Lind, you might be interested to know, plays first base. I thought second, but that was Jose Lind, the Pirates and a very long time ago.
I spoke to a Brewer blogger last night (we were guests on the same podcast) and asked about Lind. He was very happy with the trade that brought Adam to Milwaukee from Toronto for now-injured Marco Estrada. In fact, the guy was ready to trade every veteran Brewer for kids, but wanted to keep Lind.
So beware Adam Lind.
Jean Segura is injured lately. Jonathan Lucroy has been injured a while. Carlos Gomez has returned. Ryan Braun never goes away. They continue to have a fellow named Scooter, which would’ve been a good nickname for Counsell in his playing days. This is Scooter Gennett. He’s batting .182. He’s giving a less than stellar name to Scooters, I suppose. Also, he appears to be their second baseman. Eat your heart out, Jose Lind.
Aramis Ramirez is still alive and playing for Milwaukee, albeit coming off a back injury. I remember him starting his career off by tripling against Dave Mlicki. You seen Mlicki anywhere lately? Besides Mets Classics, I mean? As it turns out, according to what actually happened, Ramirez doubled against Greg McMichael in the 1998 game I’m thinking of. Anyway, this guy’s been around forever. Quite a career.
Gomez is flanked by the defensive wizard Gerardo Parra and the other Khris Davis. On the ex-Met front, Gomez is flanked by Juan Centeno (Lucroy’s absence opened up a spot) and K-Rod, who has all the saves the Brewers could possibly need, or seven.
Prepare for stupid Will Smith jokes all weekend.
Do the Mets have any ex-Brewers? It doesn’t seem like they do; I could check, but I’d rather float the rumor Ken Sanders has been selected off waivers.
Kyle Lohse faces Bartolo Colon tonight. Lohse has an ERA of 7.03 yet has two wins.
Matt Garza goes up against Jacob deGrom on Saturday. Garza has the same W-L record — 2-4 — as Lohse but his ERA is three runs lower. Who says traditional baseball statistics are flawed? It’s Fedora Night. If you aren’t picky, Fedora rhymes with Cuddyer.
Sunday is Noah Syndergaard’s first home start. Wily Peralta seeks to ruin it.
This is usually where I'd point you to Adam Rubin for a detailed preview, but to my surprise he has basically no more information than is presented here. Thus, I will close with a sincere query:
How about those Midwestern Padres?
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