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Bryce v. Goose

Edgy MD Mar 11 2016 04:58 PM

In a surprising turn, Bryce Harper, superstar choking victim, has come out strongly against baseball's alleged "unwritten rules" — particularly against those non-rule rules prohibiting players from celebrating their success on the field, lest they show up the opposition. “If a guy pumps his fist at me on the mound, I’m going to go, ‘Yeah, you got me. Good for you. Hopefully I get you next time.’ That’s what makes the game fun. You want kids to play the game, right? What are kids playing these days? Football, basketball. Look at those players — Steph Curry, LeBron James. It’s exciting to see those players in those sports. Cam Newton — I love the way Cam goes about it. He smiles, he laughs. It’s that flair. The dramatic.” That's something. I mean, he's supposedly one of the two best players out there (though he wasn't my MVP vote last year, no sir). So his voice has weight. And he's going to be around a while, and pretty soon earning something like $40 (FORTY!) million a year. But revolutionaries must fight their way through the old guard, and in an impressive turn of events, the same day that's published, Rich F. Gossage, speaking to the same outlet (!), stepped up for the old guard. “Bautista is a fucking disgrace to the game. He’s embarrassing to all the Latin players, whoever played before him. Throwing his bat and acting like a fool, like all those guys in Toronto. [Yoenis] Cespedes, same thing.” That's right. Yoenis. Goose not only went at Cespedes. He, descended from the Gossages of Lincolnshire, put his rep on the line to defend the honor of all righteous Latin dudes of yore from all Latin American countries, having their image sullied by these punks. He also took the time to get pissy about nerds (NERDS!) ruining baseball with their computers, roiders, and the wimpy new collision rules. These kids today, he suggests, couldn't hang back in his day. Feel free to consider the evidence as you entertain that argument. [fimg=225]http://www.baseball-almanac.com/images/Goose_Gossage.jpg[/fimg] [fimg=250]http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2015/0730/005_mag_body_Harper07_RW_1536x1845.jpg[/fimg]

Ceetar Mar 11 2016 05:02 PM Re: Bryce v. Goose

Yeah, the less I hear from racist ignorant trolls that used to pitch for the Yankees the better. I don't really appreciate Bryce making me like him though. Stop that until you've signed out of the division please.

Frayed Knot Mar 11 2016 05:20 PM Re: Bryce v. Goose

Gossage, who rarely misses an opportunity to tell us how much better things were back in his day -- he once pitched 7 innings of relief in both ends of a double-header during a snowstorm back when they forced hurlers to pitch out of a ditch instead of on a mound don't y'know -- basically throws the 'Get off my Lawn' book at how the game is played today by trashing not just bat-flipping but also the home plate blocking rule, the new 2nd base rule, fantasy, Sabermetrics, pitch-counts, educated people in front offices, and will probably get around to sock-wearing and wrap-around sunglasses if you give him enough rope. In doing so he naturally gets a lot wrong (the inability to distinguish the polar opposites of fantasy & analytics is a dead give-away) and makes himself seem like, well like an old man yelling to get off his lawn.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Mar 11 2016 05:36 PM Re: Bryce v. Goose

This is an example of the typical modern American argument: Two diametrically opposed morons, blind to any nuance, and presented to an audience as though they have to choose with one side or the other. There is nothing wrong with having fun, and nothing wrong with sportsmanship.

Edgy MD Mar 11 2016 05:50 PM Re: Bryce v. Goose

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: This is an example of the typical modern American argument: Two diametrically opposed morons, blind to any nuance, and presented to an audience as though they have to choose with one side or the other. That's a really good point. Shame on me for playing that way. Gossage bundles a lot of issues, and they each deserve distinct consideration whether you are for or against his lawn.

metsmarathon Mar 11 2016 06:08 PM Re: Bryce v. Goose

gossage strikes me as someone who has an astroturf lawn. yeah, the game was better when the players all played like professionals - cold, calculating mercenaries with ice in their veins - playing not for love of the game, but for the honor of their underpaying overlords and the glory not only of victory, but of trudging steadily towards it with workmanlike ethic, never cracking a smile, or forcing a frown for fear of showing weakness or humanity; a veneer so thin and fragile that it crumbles at the mere hint of one's feelings being hurt by their opponent such that a slight modification in pace or tempo or sightlines following a homerun should result in unbridled rage and outright contempt, and the potential forfeiture of the batter's (or next batter's) livelihood in the form of a fastball to the temple, or a rolling tackling blocking slide into a base that rends ligaments and shatters bones. because these things are completely in proportion to each other. gossage is a ranting raving probably-racist loon. and he's wrong. well, except about ryan braun, maybe. but he's wrong about that too, because back in his day, peds were a thing too.

Frayed Knot Mar 11 2016 06:40 PM Re: Bryce v. Goose

The other thing this 'handbags at twenty paces' fight did was give the morning sports shows a chance to slip some actual baseball talk in among the otherwise wall to wall coverage of NFL FAs and college hoops. Mostly the hosts and guests sided with Harper because it gave them the opportunity to reiterate that the prevailing attitude proves what a boring and dead sport baseball is which is why it has no fans under the age of 83.

d'Kong76 Mar 11 2016 06:48 PM Re: Bryce v. Goose

Where do they both stand on handbags in the game?

Ashie62 Mar 11 2016 07:10 PM Re: Bryce v. Goose

Gossage lives locally. Most often seen practicing douchbagery with Nettles at Springbrook Golf Club. Grey Goose Vodka. They look horrible.

themetfairy Mar 11 2016 07:32 PM Re: Bryce v. Goose

The only reason I give Goose Gossage a pass is that he was a mensch to MK on his 12th birthday back in 2008 -

Frayed Knot Mar 11 2016 07:35 PM Re: Bryce v. Goose

In fairness to Goose, I don't really think he became a jerk when he got older because he was pretty much an ass back when he played too.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Mar 12 2016 02:18 AM Re: Bryce v. Goose

The baseball ultra-reactionary is also kindasorta retrograde in his thinking, overall? Billy Wagner thinks that's a f*ckin' shocker. I find it interesting that a man who batted fewer times in his career than Bryce Harper did in his first month in the majors is lecturing anyone on batting-behavior protocol.

Fman99 Mar 12 2016 02:57 AM Re: Bryce v. Goose

I loved Gossage in "Gran Torino." Seriously. Aside from growing a bad ass moustache, why would anyone still care what Goose thinks? I'd say, no one gives a flying ham steak about some washed up old bag of Yankee shit. Aside from YLDBs of course. And fuck them too! Wait till Harper signs with the MFYs and they have to hug and play nice at Old Farts' Day.

Centerfield Mar 15 2016 02:04 PM Re: Bryce v. Goose

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: This is an example of the typical modern American argument: Two diametrically opposed morons, blind to any nuance, and presented to an audience as though they have to choose with one side or the other. There is nothing wrong with having fun, and nothing wrong with sportsmanship. I think JCL says it best. Celebrate if you're happy. Don't celebrate to be a douche. Gotta say Bryce Harper says a lot of the right things. The tip of the hat to the Mets and all. When I read about him, he seems a decent guy. When I see him, all i think is DOUCHE!!!

d'Kong76 Mar 15 2016 02:55 PM Re: Bryce v. Goose

Centerfield wrote: When I see him, all i think is DOUCHE!!! Wait until he's a True Yankee, we're reallly gonna love him.

Edgy MD Mar 15 2016 05:18 PM Re: Bryce v. Goose

Will the Yankees be able to lock up Harvey and Harper at the same time? That's, like, a 75 million hit per annum right there. I think he stays in DC. Crazy-rich owners and market exclusivity in an exploding pocket of wealth. On the other hand, how on Earth is the guy who choked him still on the team? THAT guy should be a Yankee.

Farmer Ted Mar 15 2016 06:21 PM Re: Bryce v. Goose

Goose was on my flight a few months ago out of Dallas. He was equally incensed about the slow play by the luggage carousel guy as he was with Bautista/Cespedes.

d'Kong76 Mar 15 2016 07:39 PM Re: Bryce v. Goose

Does Goose fly coach or first-class?

Benjamin Grimm Mar 15 2016 07:44 PM Re: Bryce v. Goose

I assume he flies in a V formation.

d'Kong76 Mar 15 2016 07:50 PM Re: Bryce v. Goose

Well played, sir.

Frayed Knot Mar 15 2016 11:32 PM Re: Bryce v. Goose

Edgy MD wrote: On the other hand, how on Earth is the guy who choked [Harper] still on the team? THAT guy should be a Yankee. Yeah, he could be their designated 6th inning reliever -- setting up in front of Betances, Miller, and Chapman -- and with their starting staff they just may need one of those.

Centerfield Mar 16 2016 06:36 PM Re: Bryce v. Goose

"No, I'm not the bad guy. I only choke other grown men. He's the one you should be yelling at. He chokes his girlfriend."