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KTE Reds 4/25

TheOldMole
Apr 25 2016 01:53 PM

Not much good news from Cincinnati--
Not much with pitchee, less with battee.

At catcher, Devin Masoraco--
Let's face it, just another jocko.
Last season was a year from hell,
One part Mendoza, three DL.
Not one of Cincinnati's threats,
An easy call: advantage, Mets.

At first base we have Joey Votto,
You only face him if you've got to.
More dangerous than Walking Deads,
Though Duda's hot, advantage Reds.

At second, Phillips likes to hack,
He could fall flat, he could bounce back.
The Reds are ready to abandon --
I'll take Neil Walker over Brandon.

At shortstop, Zachary Warren Cozart,
And with the bat, he ain't no Mozart.
Can't hit for average or for power,
They're better when he's in the shower.
And though his fielding's far from porous,
I'll go with Asdrubal or Flores.

At third, Eugenio Suarez?
Maybe he ain't, maybe he is.
At any rate, one thing I knows is,
I'll take the guy with spine stenosis.

And in the outfield, there's Jay Bruce:
The Reds would like to cut him loose.
Not much to say about Duvall,
Without him, there'd just be a wall.
Some still like Billy Hamilton,
But stick a fork in him, he's done.
Their whole outfield could use a fork.
Advantage, point, set, match: New York.

Iglesias, Finnegan, Moscot –
Their starting pitching ain’t so hot.

They couldn't outhit Trappist Monks.
They're like a bunch of subway punks,
And we come on like Bernie Goetz--
We'll mow them down. Advantage, Mets.

John Cougar Lunchbucket
Apr 25 2016 02:03 PM
Re: KTE Reds 4/25

Edgy MD
Apr 25 2016 02:07 PM
Re: KTE Reds 4/25

They've had a pretty stable lineup in recent years.

Too bad Volquez is gone (and it was particularly too bad last fall). He was very Redly to my thinking, even with the long hair.

John Cougar Lunchbucket
Apr 25 2016 02:27 PM
Re: KTE Reds 4/25

Reds are weird, man.

You'd think they'd have had more success given all the good players running though there over recent years but they invariably come up a player or two short, make a dumb trade, can't get a good rotation and bullpen at once, have sketchy managers, make the playoffs but don't advance, etc etc. They have gone from 97 wins to 98 losses in 4 years (97-90-76-64 wins).

I think they may have finally embraced sabermetrics under the new front office but they're in the early stages.

(Edit) Got ten prospects in Cueto, Frazier and Chapman trades but only the lefty starter Finnegan is on the club yet.

Edgy MD
Apr 25 2016 02:38 PM
Re: KTE Reds 4/25

Looking him up, it seems like yesterday Volquez was a perennial Red, but he's been a vagabond for over four years.

TransMonk
Apr 25 2016 03:19 PM
Re: KTE Reds 4/25

The Reds seem to be one of several NL teams (Milwaukee, Atlanta, Philly) who are doing very little to hide the fact that they are rebuilding.

Frayed Knot
Apr 25 2016 04:28 PM
Re: KTE Reds 4/25

Cindy is a respectable 9-10 so far this season despite the fact that they've been matched against the tough top of the NL Central in 13 of those 19 games.
Now they got a big-time thumping in most of them: losing 6 of 7 vs the Cubs (out-scored 60-20 in the process) while splitting 6 against StL (1-2) and Pitt (2-1)
Outside of that they swept 3 from the Phils and took 2 of 3 from the Rox. They've also been at home for 13 of their 19 games, so I think we can draw the conclusion ... that it's far too early to draw much of a conclusion.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr
Apr 26 2016 07:08 AM
Re: KTE Reds 4/25

Mole. Man.

For a rebuilding job, that Reds lineup has surprising punch.

Edgy MD
Apr 26 2016 11:39 AM
Re: KTE Reds 4/25

It doesn't look like a re-build to me. I mean, TheOldMole's poetic faith in the Metsies' superiority aside, Mesaraco, Cozart, Phillips, and Bruce (unavailable at the current time) are solid veteran hitters. And Votto is Votto. It's a real lineup and stuff.

John Cougar Lunchbucket
Apr 26 2016 03:20 PM
Re: KTE Reds 4/25

Yet they also unloaded Frazier/Cueto/Chapman/Leake, tried to trade Phillips and Bruce, and I think I heard on the TV last night, gave starts to rookie pitchers for 55 straight games last season*

*-don't quote me on that figure.

Edgy MD
Apr 26 2016 03:35 PM
Re: KTE Reds 4/25

Yeah, they certainly seem to have been dumping from the pitching side of the boat. Second division clubs sell at deadline time. They also shopped Cousin Brucie.

Frayed Knot
Apr 26 2016 03:44 PM
Re: KTE Reds 4/25

It didn't hit me until maybe the 7th inning last night when I all of a sudden thought to myself: 'Hey, no Chapman at the end of the game ... Kewl!!'

John Cougar Lunchbucket
Apr 26 2016 04:05 PM
Re: KTE Reds 4/25

Congrats to Jay Bruce, whose Wifey Hannah gave birth to baby boy Carter last night.

d'Kong76
Apr 26 2016 04:14 PM
Re: KTE Reds 4/25

Great job, Señor Mole.
If I ever have a boy, I'm naming him Carter.

Frayed Knot
Apr 26 2016 04:39 PM
Re: KTE Reds 4/25

So how many times in his upcoming life is Carter Bruce going to have to explain that, no, it's not Bruce Carter but Carter Bruce?

G-Fafif
Apr 26 2016 06:40 PM
Re: KTE Reds 4/25

Just read the KTE...
WHEE!