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Soothsaying for Sixteen: Josh Smoker

Edgy MD Apr 18 2016 01:52 PM

Hey, I'm Josh Smoker, and once upon a time I was Alfonso Soriano, sort of. I mean, I was a big-time compensation pick by the Nats when Soriano got signed away by the Cubs. But it didn't work out for me with the Nats, and frankly, I hated it. I DESPISED it. Toiling in the low minors in a crooked outfit like that. I confess, they didn't like me too much either, and I ended up in indy ball. And fuck it, I let it fly. I'm a lefty with high nineties heat, and those mopes couldn't touch my shit. So I'm back in affiliated ball. I played at three levels with the Mets last season, struck out 11 dudes per nine innings, and the Mets wondered what they needed to send defenders out there at all for, and they PUT ME ON A BIG LEAGUE ROSTER. That's right, I'm on the 40. I'm toiling for the 51s, working on my off-speed stuff, and while I got Bastardo and Blevins over my head, the Leathersiches of the world are thinning out, and you can call me Elton because I'm still standing. The world isn't going to wait forever for me to start my big league career, so I'm down here in Vegas pressing my case as hard as I can. I've got a badass closer name, I've got a bug-eyed girl who drives me wild, and I've got Jon Niese's old number. Things are looking up, but how are they going to play out? You be the judge. [fimg=545:28oli4fx]https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CbrWp_7W4AALG71.jpg[/fimg:28oli4fx] [fimg=255:28oli4fx]http://bloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.com/northwestgeorgianews.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/9/be/9bec202e-dc06-11e5-b289-af4d71345c5f/56cf7206d5511.image.jpg?resize=300%2C400[/fimg:28oli4fx] [fimg=337:28oli4fx]https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/662397067843780608/tFi0NYwV.jpg[/fimg:28oli4fx] [fimg=463:28oli4fx]http://thebronxchronicle.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/55c3c6249112e.image_.jpg[/fimg:28oli4fx]

Edgy MD Apr 18 2016 06:13 PM Re: Soothsaying for Sixteen: Josh Smoker

The Mets have a nice collection of bullpen arms in Las Vegas, guys. And they've gotten off to a really nice start except for poor Dario Alvarez. Josh is smoking to the tune of a 2.25 ERA.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Apr 18 2016 06:19 PM Re: Soothsaying for Sixteen: Josh Smoker

I'd the Mets to take up Smoking sometime this summer but they'll need an injury of some kind to trigger it. I think he'll provide full-flavored, satisfying drags on the butt end of the pen. 15 games, 20 IP, 15-6 K-BB, 3.03, 1-1

Frayed Knot Apr 18 2016 06:22 PM Re: Soothsaying for Sixteen: Josh Smoker

The biggest questions surrounding him remain as to whether he is also a joker or a midnight toker.

Edgy MD Apr 18 2016 06:26 PM Re: Soothsaying for Sixteen: Josh Smoker

Josh Smoker, describing his second major surgery, to repair a torn labrum and rotator cuff: "It was tore up pretty good, but Dr. [James] Andrews patched me up."

MFS62 Apr 19 2016 12:09 PM Re: Soothsaying for Sixteen: Josh Smoker

A mid year call-up. Used primarily as a LOOGY. 25 G, 22 IP, 3.42ERA, 1.37 WHIP. Later

Edgy MD Apr 19 2016 12:33 PM Re: Soothsaying for Sixteen: Josh Smoker

These threads were more fun with Fman, weren't they?

d'Kong76 Apr 21 2016 03:45 PM Re: Soothsaying for Sixteen: Josh Smoker

I missed the National Weed Day post by one day on Josh, see ya in September... don't forget the Bambu's...