Master Index of Archived Threads


Baseball humor

cooby Apr 11 2017 04:10 PM

What did the baseball glove say to the ball ?

Benjamin Grimm Apr 11 2017 04:13 PM Re: Baseball humor

"Come into my pocket" ?

Edgy MD Apr 11 2017 04:15 PM Re: Baseball humor

AND ... we've just been shut down.

cooby Apr 11 2017 04:15 PM Re: Baseball humor

Nope!

Ceetar Apr 11 2017 04:15 PM Re: Baseball humor

Nice to mitt you.

Ashie62 Apr 11 2017 04:16 PM Re: Baseball humor

Hello Ball?

cooby Apr 11 2017 04:23 PM Re: Baseball humor

Nope nope and nope

Centerfield Apr 11 2017 04:24 PM Re: Baseball humor

"You look fly!"

cooby Apr 11 2017 04:27 PM Re: Baseball humor

Nope! This was harder than I thought

bmfc1 Apr 11 2017 04:27 PM Re: Baseball humor

"I want to grab you by the pussy." Oh I'm sorry, that's Trump.

bmfc1 Apr 11 2017 04:28 PM Re: Baseball humor

"You don't need me to catch you if the player has stick 'em on his chest protector like Yadier Molina."

cooby Apr 11 2017 04:28 PM Re: Baseball humor

Lololololol. Now we're getting shut down

cooby Apr 11 2017 04:29 PM Re: Baseball humor

Haha BMW you're getting closer

bmfc1 Apr 11 2017 04:30 PM Re: Baseball humor

"I'll wave to you as you fly over the heads of the Mets outfielders who aren't Juan Lagares."

cooby Apr 11 2017 04:32 PM Re: Baseball humor

Aaaannnnggghhggh. Getting cold

dinosaur jesus Apr 11 2017 04:34 PM Re: Baseball humor

"Catch you later"?

cooby Apr 11 2017 04:37 PM Re: Baseball humor

Yay! Jesus! Brought to you today by DAnimals squeezable yogurt.

Edgy MD Apr 11 2017 04:41 PM Re: Baseball humor

Why did José Reyes shut down his website?

batmagadanleadoff Apr 11 2017 04:52 PM Re: Baseball humor Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Apr 11 2017 05:01 PM

bmfc1 wrote: "I want to grab you by the pussy." Oh I'm sorry, that's Trump. Hey! That's the second Trump joke you made this week in the Baseball Forum. Good for you that you're not me 'cause if you were, you couldn't imagine the shrieking and over the top hysterics with calls for safe spaces and bans and tortures that would ensue if I made that joke. Then they'd call me all sorts of bad names for another couple of days and create four or five different threads to bust my balls but as soon as I responded, the guy with the mod hat would chastise me. Could you believe that fucking cunt Ivanka who goes on national network television to campaign for her father for President who, if nothing else, vowed to destroy Roe v. Wade but then wants the liberals to think she's on the side of women's rights?

cooby Apr 11 2017 04:58 PM Re: Baseball humor

Bonobo! Baseball humor! Start your own Ivanka thread! I even have a comment for it!

cooby Apr 11 2017 04:59 PM Re: Baseball humor

Edgy MD wrote: Why did José Reyes shut down his website? And Edgy has the flooe

soupcan Apr 11 2017 05:00 PM Re: Baseball humor

Wait - we're not allowed to make Trump jokes? I know I've been absent for a while, but thats a bit fucked up.

batmagadanleadoff Apr 11 2017 05:04 PM Re: Baseball humor

soupcan wrote: Wait - we're not allowed to make Trump jokes? I know I've been absent for a while, but thats a bit fucked up. Of course you can make Trump jokes. Otherwise, it'd be an absurd rule, wouldn't it? I'm the one that can't make Trump jokes. I'd tell you how fucking mistreated I've been here on this forum since day one, for which I still harbor enormous resentments that never went away, but then the guy with the mod hat would call me a martyr.

Centerfield Apr 11 2017 05:06 PM Re: Baseball humor

soupcan wrote: Wait - we're not allowed to make Trump jokes? I know I've been absent for a while, but thats a bit fucked up. No! No Trump jokes allowed. Nor can you say anything about climate change, or reference any act of terrorism not committed by middle-eastern muslims. And I know, it seems somewhat oppressive, but you are now allowed to grab anyone by the pussy and make lewd comments about your own daughter. What a country!

Centerfield Apr 11 2017 05:07 PM Re: Baseball humor

Edgy MD wrote: Why did José Reyes shut down his website? Restraining order bars all forms of hits.

G-Fafif Apr 11 2017 05:10 PM Re: Baseball humor

Edgy MD wrote: Why did José Reyes shut down his website? Because it had only one hit.

Edgy MD Apr 11 2017 05:10 PM Re: Baseball humor

Or something like that. I was going for "he wasn't getting any hits" or something similarly juvenile. But then things got weird and stuff.

cooby Apr 11 2017 05:12 PM Re: Baseball humor

Gfafif why is there a blueberry under your mike vail?

G-Fafif Apr 11 2017 05:15 PM Re: Baseball humor

cooby wrote: Gfafif why is there a blueberry under your mike vail? I don't know, Cooby. Why is there a blueberry under my Mike Vail?

Benjamin Grimm Apr 11 2017 05:16 PM Re: Baseball humor

soupcan wrote: Wait - we're not allowed to make Trump jokes? I know I've been absent for a while, but thats a bit fucked up. That's completely untrue.

Centerfield Apr 11 2017 05:17 PM Re: Baseball humor

Benjamin Grimm wrote: soupcan wrote: Wait - we're not allowed to make Trump jokes? I know I've been absent for a while, but thats a bit fucked up. That's completely untrue. BG missing the opportunity to call out FAKE NEWS.

Centerfield Apr 11 2017 05:18 PM Re: Baseball humor

Why did Trump decline the invitation to throw out the first pitch of the Nats' opener?

cooby Apr 11 2017 05:21 PM Re: Baseball humor

G-Fafif wrote: Gfafif why is there a blueberry under your mike vail? I don't know, Cooby. Why is there a blueberry under my Mike Vail? Well if I press your blueberry I go to your website! Cool! Edit: hey! Ben Grimm too!

G-Fafif Apr 11 2017 05:24 PM Re: Baseball humor

cooby wrote: cooby wrote: Gfafif why is there a blueberry under your mike vail? I don't know, Cooby. Why is there a blueberry under my Mike Vail? Well if I press your blueberry I go to your website! Cool! Edit: hey! Ben Grimm too! That is cool, though I don't see the blueberry on whatever it is I'm looking at. I thought the question was part of the gag, which, if so, my answer was going to be "because Mike Vail was no Strawberry."

G-Fafif Apr 11 2017 05:25 PM Re: Baseball humor

I don't see a blueberry, but I see a globe, as in World Wide Web, and that takes me to my site.

cooby Apr 11 2017 05:34 PM Re: Baseball humor

Ha! Looks like a blueberry on my phone. Centerfield wrote: Why did Trump decline the invitation to throw out the first pitch of the Nats' opener? He can't pitch and tweet at the same time

John Cougar Lunchbucket Apr 11 2017 05:42 PM Re: Baseball humor

Centerfield wrote: Why did Trump decline the invitation to throw out the first pitch of the Nats' opener? Becuase he's going to die in prison?

Centerfield Apr 11 2017 05:43 PM Re: Baseball humor

All of those are true, but not the answer we are looking for. Why did Trump decline the invitation to throw out the first pitch of the Nats' opener?

bmfc1 Apr 11 2017 05:48 PM Re: Baseball humor Edited 3 time(s), most recently on Apr 11 2017 05:54 PM

batmagadanleadoff wrote: bmfc1 wrote: "I want to grab you by the pussy." Oh I'm sorry, that's Trump. Hey! That's the second Trump joke you made this week in the Baseball Forum. Good for you that you're not me 'cause if you were, you couldn't imagine the shrieking and over the top hysterics with calls for safe spaces and bans and tortures that would ensue if I made that joke. Then they'd call me all sorts of bad names for another couple of days and create four or five different threads to bust my balls but as soon as I responded, the guy with the mod hat would chastise me. Could you believe that fucking cunt Ivanka who goes on national network television to campaign for her father for President who, if nothing else, vowed to destroy Roe v. Wade but then wants the liberals to think she's on the side of women's rights? Thank you for remembering, batmagadanleadoff. To clarify, the other Trump reference was an insightful and clever commentary on the ESPN "Win Probability" stat in which I brilliantly tied it the pollsters, especially Nate Cohn in The Times, who gave Hillary an overwhelming chance of winning. That was less of a Trump joke and more of a ESPN or Nate Cohn joke. But I don't want to disappoint the crowd so I'll make another one post haste!

bmfc1 Apr 11 2017 05:49 PM Re: Baseball humor

Centerfield wrote: Why did Trump decline the invitation to throw out the first pitch of the Nats' opener? Because they don't play baseball in Russia.

G-Fafif Apr 11 2017 05:54 PM Re: Baseball humor

bmfc1 wrote: Centerfield wrote: Why did Trump decline the invitation to throw out the first pitch of the Nats' opener? Because they don't play baseball in Russia. I would think he'd welcome the opportunity to be Putin one over the plate.

Centerfield Apr 11 2017 05:58 PM Re: Baseball humor

All very good guesses! And while we would have accepted "Because he's a dickhead fascist that doesn't deserve to be anywhere near something as noble as baseball", that's not the specific answer we are looking for. Our answer involves punning a famous baseball quote.

soupcan Apr 11 2017 06:01 PM Re: Baseball humor

centerfield wrote: No! No Trump jokes allowed. Nor can you say anything about climate change, or reference any act of terrorism not committed by middle-eastern muslims. Nor can you say anything about climate change, or reference any act of terrorism not committed by middle-eastern muslims. And I know, it seems somewhat oppressive, but you are now allowed to grab anyone by the pussy and make lewd comments about your own daughter. Oh gosh so much to remember... Ok I think I get it. Normally I think I'd be upset with all the restrictions but the pussy-grabbing definitely softens the blow.

G-Fafif Apr 11 2017 06:04 PM Re: Baseball humor

soupcan wrote: the pussy-grabbing definitely softens the blow. That's what she said?

Benjamin Grimm Apr 11 2017 06:07 PM Re: Baseball humor

Centerfield wrote: Our answer involves punning a famous baseball quote. Because he didn't want to prick his gonfalon bubble?

bmfc1 Apr 11 2017 06:07 PM Re: Baseball humor

Centerfield wrote: Our answer involves punning a famous baseball quote. "Take Me Out To Mar-a-Lago Take me at the taxpayer's expense."

41Forever Apr 11 2017 06:07 PM Re: Baseball humor

G-Fafif wrote: soupcan wrote: the pussy-grabbing definitely softens the blow. That's what she said? Ahem. Hands off.

Benjamin Grimm Apr 11 2017 06:08 PM Re: Baseball humor

Centerfield wrote: Our answer involves punning a famous baseball quote. Because he heard that "nice guys finish last." (That one makes NO sense at all.)

cooby Apr 11 2017 06:08 PM Re: Baseball humor

There's no lying in baseball?

cooby Apr 11 2017 06:09 PM Re: Baseball humor

Love that cat! I need to get six little Mets jackets!

Benjamin Grimm Apr 11 2017 06:09 PM Re: Baseball humor

cooby wrote: There's no lying in baseball? Good one!

G-Fafif Apr 11 2017 06:10 PM Re: Baseball humor

All threads should devolve into pictures of cats in Mets apparel.

41Forever Apr 11 2017 06:10 PM Re: Baseball humor

cooby wrote: Love that cat! I need to get six little Mets jackets!

cooby Apr 11 2017 06:12 PM Re: Baseball humor

Lololololol!

41Forever Apr 11 2017 06:25 PM Re: Baseball humor

No, Mr. Met! Not literally! It was too late.

Centerfield Apr 11 2017 06:30 PM Re: Baseball humor

cooby wrote: There's no lying in baseball? Winner!

cooby Apr 11 2017 06:32 PM Re: Baseball humor

Yay! Why do the Yankees wear pinstripes? (And Hello, Kitty!)

Frayed Knot Apr 11 2017 06:39 PM Re: Baseball humor

cooby wrote: Why do the Yankees wear pinstripes? Because Babe Ruth would have looked even fatter otherwise. We also would have accepted as answers: Yogi Berra, Elston Howard, Goose Gossage, Thurman Munson, Steve Balboni, Mark Teixeira, or Gary Sanchez* * who, btw, is out for at least the next month with a "strained biceps", aka: steroid overdose

G-Fafif Apr 11 2017 06:42 PM Re: Baseball humor

We also would have accepted C.C. Sabathia.

Centerfield Apr 11 2017 06:47 PM Re: Baseball humor

cooby wrote: Why do the Yankees wear pinstripes? To prepare Chad Curtis for his later stint in jail. We would have also accepted as answers: Jim Leyritz, Chuck Knoblauch, Rusty Torrez, Aroldis Chapman, Mel Hall, Joba Chamberlain, Alex Rodriguez, Mariano Rivera...

cooby Apr 11 2017 06:52 PM Re: Baseball humor

Heheh thought of both of those answers but not what I'm looking for. Think more juvenilely

Benjamin Grimm Apr 11 2017 07:10 PM Re: Baseball humor

To hold their pants up?

cooby Apr 11 2017 07:47 PM Re: Baseball humor

No...

d'Kong76 Apr 11 2017 07:59 PM Re: Baseball humor

Now this is funny (and not): If you Google 'humor why do Yankees wear pin- stripes' it returns 'honor in pinstripes' from the captains blog dot whatever...

cooby Apr 11 2017 08:01 PM Re: Baseball humor

You will not find my answer on google unless that google bot comes back :)

d'Kong76 Apr 11 2017 08:03 PM Re: Baseball humor

I liked to hold their pants up, so I gave up...

Ceetar Apr 11 2017 08:14 PM Re: Baseball humor

you're quite the catch!

cooby Apr 11 2017 08:20 PM Re: Baseball humor

No! The pants don't talk!

Benjamin Grimm Apr 11 2017 08:23 PM Re: Baseball humor

So... the Yankees wear pinstripes because their pants can't talk? (I think the above is a unique sentence, never before typed, written, or spoken by any human being.)

cooby Apr 11 2017 08:26 PM Re: Baseball humor

No that is not the answer!

Mets Willets Point Apr 11 2017 09:02 PM Re: Baseball humor

Outside a small Macedonian village, close to the border between Greece and strife torn Yugoslavia, a lone Catholic nun keeps a quiet watch over a silent convent. She is the last caretaker of a site of significant historic developments. The convent once served as a base for the army of Attila the Hun. In more ancient times, a Greek temple to Eros, the god of love, occupied the hilltop site. The Huns are believed to have first collected and then destroyed a large gathering of Greek legal writs at the site. It is believed that Attila wanted to study the Greek legal system and had the writs and other documents brought to the temple. When the Greek church took over the site in the 15th Century and the convent was built, church leaders ordered the pagan statue of Eros destroyed, so another ancient Greek treasure was lost. Today, there is only the lone sister, watching over the old Hun base. And that's how it ends: No Huns, no writs, no Eros, and nun left on base.

dinosaur jesus Apr 11 2017 09:16 PM Re: Baseball humor

I'm a little suspicious of that story. I don't think Attila's Huns ever reached Greece.

cooby Apr 11 2017 09:42 PM Re: Baseball humor

cooby wrote: Yay! Why do the Yankees wear pinstripes? (And Hello, Kitty!) Cos they look even more like clowns when they wear polka dots!

d'Kong76 Apr 11 2017 10:38 PM Re: Baseball humor

Why did Trump get cut from little league three years in a row? (two answers possible, researched and verified)

Benjamin Grimm Apr 11 2017 11:33 PM Re: Baseball humor

Because his hands were too small to grip the bat?

d'Kong76 Apr 12 2017 12:27 AM Re: Baseball humor

*ding* *ding* The other was he couldn't fit/catch a baseball in his itty-bity mitt ... ... the floor is open.

MFS62 Apr 12 2017 01:07 AM Re: Baseball humor

Benjamin Grimm wrote: Because his hands were too small to grip the bat? Nah. He's got a tiny bat. Later

cooby Apr 25 2017 04:22 PM Re: Baseball humor

What do you call a pig that plays baseball?

d'Kong76 Apr 25 2017 04:41 PM Re: Baseball humor

Arod?

cooby Apr 25 2017 04:46 PM Re: Baseball humor

Lol

Edgy MD Apr 25 2017 05:01 PM Re: Baseball humor

A Nippon Ham Fighter?

Centerfield Apr 25 2017 05:39 PM Re: Baseball humor

cooby wrote: What do you call a pig that plays baseball? Asdrubal Cabacon Noah Swinedegaard Darryl Strawboary Roger McSowell

Fman99 Apr 25 2017 05:53 PM Re: Baseball humor

Ceetar wrote: Nice to mitt you. I like this answer better actually.

Fman99 Apr 25 2017 05:54 PM Re: Baseball humor

cooby wrote: What do you call a pig that plays baseball?

Ashie62 Apr 25 2017 06:00 PM Re: Baseball humor

BOC Fman.

Edgy MD Apr 25 2017 06:06 PM Re: Baseball humor

President Trump posting from Fman's account these days? [fimg=400:3t3zmx5f]https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/36/e9/7b/36e97b8e9bd769116b5fc54dd30f62c2.jpg[/fimg:3t3zmx5f]

cooby Apr 25 2017 10:31 PM Re: Baseball humor

Love all these answers, but the answer on the Yogurt pouch is A ball hog

d'Kong76 Apr 25 2017 10:41 PM Re: Baseball humor

That seems more basketball!

cooby Apr 25 2017 11:19 PM Re: Baseball humor

well it is. But I changed the joke to baseball. Oh man, busted!

Zvon Apr 25 2017 11:29 PM Re: Baseball humor

cooby wrote: well it is. But I changed the joke to baseball. Oh man, busted! lol.

cooby May 16 2017 02:48 PM Re: Baseball humor

Why couldn't Cinderella play baseball?

Benjamin Grimm May 16 2017 02:53 PM Re: Baseball humor

Because they don't manufacture glass cleats?

41Forever May 16 2017 02:55 PM Re: Baseball humor

Because like Mets relievers, she turns into a pumpkin when things get late?

Edgy MD May 16 2017 02:59 PM Re: Baseball humor

Because once her coach turned into a pumpkin, it became increasingly difficult for her to absorb his instruction.

Benjamin Grimm May 16 2017 03:00 PM Re: Baseball humor

Because she tends to run away from the ball?

cooby May 16 2017 03:27 PM Re: Baseball humor

Ben is correct

cooby May 23 2017 04:01 PM Re: Baseball humor

What animal is best at hitting a baseball?

Ceetar May 23 2017 04:03 PM Re: Baseball humor

cooby wrote: What animal is best at hitting a baseball? ... a bat?

cooby May 23 2017 04:17 PM Re: Baseball humor

Of course :)

Mets Willets Point May 23 2017 04:29 PM Re: Baseball humor

Edgy MD wrote: Because once her coach turned into a pumpkin, it became increasingly difficult for her to absorb his instruction. This may not have been the correct response, but it's awfully clever.

cooby May 23 2017 05:01 PM Re: Baseball humor

Edgy should send it to Dannin yogurt