Master Index of Archived Threads


Get off the Interstate in 2018 NOW!!!

Edgy MD May 11 2018 04:01 AM

Hey! José Lobaton! Yeah, I know you were never Lance Parrish with the bat, but come on! You're hitting .163 and that's not going to work for the Met leading all catchers in plate appearances! That leaves you wandering off-road in western Alabama! Bad idea!! SORRY/NOT SORRY!! Hey! Michael Conforto! Highest slugging percentage in Citi Field history! You're stinking up the joint, hitting .191, lost somewhere between Western Massachusetts and Vermont! GET OUT OF THE BERKSHIRES, BABY! Don't think I'm not calling your name, José Reyes!! I mean ... .122! That's not a batting average, that's a freshman elective!! Yeah, this is two somnambulent starts in two seasons! That's horseshit, José! And it has you lost in Tennessee!! SHOW SOME PRIDE! Tomás Nido, don't be all, "I'm just a minor leaguer pressed into action! Wah! It's unfair!" STOP IT! You're a grown man for Pete's sake and a professional balplayer! Ditch your .135 batting average! Leave that car of yours at the Kansas/Missouri border, report to Las Vegas and LEARN TO HIT!! I see you laughing, Kevin Plawecki! And you know what that makes you?! An IDIOT!! The Mets may be awaiting your return to shore up their catching, but your .150 batting average doesn't suggest you're a hero!! It suggests you have a tropical disease!! Capiche?! Devin Mesaraco and Phil Evans, you two have had eight plate appearence between you with garnering a hit!! Without garnering a WALK! Without garnering a MEASLY HIT-BY-PITCH!!! You ain't even on the highway! You're circling the airport looking for an ON-RAMP!! Tell your teammates! Sub-.200 batting averages on May 10?! THAT'S NOT COOL!!! [fimg=500]http://www.johnpaciorek.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Strike-out-3.jpg[/fimg]

Rockin' Doc May 12 2018 04:29 AM Re: Get off the Interstate in 2018 NOW!!!

Awesome job Edgy. They may not have taken the exit ramp to get of the interstate, but you apparently got Conforto and Mesaraco to pay attention and pick it up a little.

Chad Ochoseis May 12 2018 07:02 PM Re: Get off the Interstate in 2018 NOW!!!

Welcome to the early season. Mesoraco upped his average up to .200, and Conforto is now tearing it up at a .207 clip. I know I always get lost trying to find the interstate in Philly; let's hope they do, too.

Edgy MD Jun 25 2018 05:01 PM Re: Get off the Interstate in 2018 NOW!!!

We're three weeks into June, and if your name is Luis Guillorme, you might be hitting .182, and still called on by Mickey Callaway to pinch hit with the tying run on third and less than two out. And you didn't get the run home, so you would feel some shame. If your name is Luis Guillorme. Or perhaps your name is José Reyes. If it is, you have the ignominy of currently being on a "hot" streak, but still looking up at the scorebard to see a .170 batting average. And then, seeing as you are almost 100 plate appearances into your season, you have go on a royal tear just to get to Mendozaland. If your name is José Reyes. But perhaps it's not. Perhaps your name is ... I dunno ... still José, but your last name is Lóbaton. If it is, you might be a major league veteran, toiling in the minors, hoping to bet back to the bigs, where your average is .152. ONE-FIFTY-TWO! That's, if you are that José Lóbaton. Maybe if your name is Tomás Nido, you recall fondly the days sharing a job with José. Well, you shouldn't be sharing batting tips, because I'm looking at this hear website that says you're hitting .159. Hey, Nido, get back to the bigs and get off the interstate NOW!!!! If you are Tomás Nido. But perhaps you aren't a José at all. Or even a Tomás Perhaps your name is Phil Evans. I imagine you wouldn't be bragging if it is. Because you might be the Phil Evans who broke camp with the team, but so far has contributed naught but a 1-9 (.111) showing, with a lone single, no walks, and five strikeouts. Hey, Phil, north is THAT way. That is, if you are THE Phil Evans. Best wishes to all our interstate dwellers, but guys, it's getting late.

Edgy MD Aug 16 2018 03:28 AM Re: Get off the Interstate in 2018 NOW!!!

José Reyes is at .199. A hit in his next at-bat, and he's off the Interstate. In fact, a hit in any of his next four at-bats, and he is, finally, off the Interstate. Get on that, José. Dominic Smith is at .183. A recall and a hit in each of his next two at-bats, and he is off the Interstate. Tomás Nido is at .159. He needs a hit in each of his next three at-bats. José Lóbaton is at .152. To escape the Interstate, José also needs to hit safely in three consecutive at-bats, after also getting called up. Actually he even has to b added back onto the roster. Hey, remember when these two were our catching staff? Phil Evans is barrel scraping all the way down at .143. But he's had few enough at-bats that two consecutive hits will do it. Ty Kelly, if you want to move past your .091 and get back to the Interstate, then you need two consecutive hits for the Mets, after first hitting your way back out of the Pacific Coast League. Kevin Kaczmarski, you do NOT want to end your season with a .000 batting average. Fortunately for you, that .000 is just an 0-4. Get back to the bigs, get a hit in your next at-bat, and YOU are off the Interstate. Matt den Dekker, it won't be so easy for you, with a .000 that persists after 18 trips to the plate. Are you trying to threaten the team's non-pitcher futility record? Even Chin-Lung Hu went 1-for-20. But you want to be BETTER than that! You want off the Interstate! For that, Matt, you're going to need to get back on the 40, get back in the majors, and then, you know, hit your way on base five times without making an out. I'm pulling for you, Matt. Hell, I'm pulling for you all.

Edgy MD Aug 16 2018 09:55 PM Re: Get off the Interstate in 2018 NOW!!!

Baustista and Reyes just got off the Interstate in consecutive at-bats. For JoséJosé, it's his first time above the Mendoza Line all season long.