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The McDonald household, winter 1977:
"Son, your mother wants me to talk to you about your schoolwork. Your teachers say you're capable but don't take it seriously. Here's what your math teacher wrote on your report card: 'Jody shows skills, but working out the odds on the Flamingo Stakes at Hialeah was not the assignment.' I appreciate how much you love sports -- and I'll take your tip on Seattle Slew to win the Triple Crown under advisement. But there's a time and place for everything. It's not like you can get a job where you drone on endlessly about sports hour after hour.
"Obviously I make a living at sports, but it's not easy. You should have options so you don't get stuck dealing with the kind of nonsense I have to. For example, you'd think putting together a roster for the upcoming season would be enough of a job. Let me tell you, it would be a lot easier if Mr. Grant would let me pursue one of these new free agents. Yet I have all this ancillary business on my desk, too. I'm supposed to find a cover for the official yearbook. Mr. Grant is still upset about last year's design. He doesn't care to be reminded of the American Revolution. 'Puts ideas in the players' heads,' he said.
"I thought we could just have Seaver pose with baseballs again, but Mr. Grant isn't too happy with Seaver. Plus he didn't like that I billed the organization for the 39 cents worth of Fun-Tak to keep the balls in place last time. Well, I said, what if we have Kingman pose with 37 bats? We already have the bats in-house. But no, Mr. Grant is not happy with Kingman, either. So in addition to trying to replace Lolich and find some speed for the bench, I have to worry about something as trifling as the yearbook and not spend an extra dime on it. Mr. Grant is a good man, Jody, but between you and me, he's been out of control since Mrs. Payson passed away.
"I'm sorry, I'm off track here. I'm supposed to be focusing on your schoolwork. I understand that for the current events portion of your social studies class you turned in a collage of Jerry Koosman's 20th win from last September. Son, come on. I was happy for Jerry, we were all happy for Jerry, but at a time when there's a new president and he's declaring the energy crisis the moral equivalent of war, you focus on this? Let me see your project...what did you make this out of? Those extra pictures I brought home?
"Y'know something, Jody, this is pretty good for a junior high kid. You've got the scoreboard and his family, and the head shot in the middle tying it together. Do you mind if I borrow this? Listen, try to do better in school, OK? Here's your allowance, and here's ten for you to put on that horse in the Wood Memorial. This is fine work, Jody. I look forward to showing it to your mother and Mr. Grant and maybe the two million people we expect through the turnstiles this year assuming I get to keep a good roster together."
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The Phillips pied-a-terre, winter 2002:
"Oh right, baby, you wanted to show me something on your laptop. I'd like a better look at your 'laptop,' too, heh-heh. Sorry, sorry, I'll take you seriously. Turn on the light and hand me my glasses. What is it?
"Hey, not bad! You really can do graphic design. Not all the interns I bring back here are this good at their jobs. What's that in the middle? Forty years? Really? 2002 minus 1962...yeah, I guess it is the 40th anniversary. Funny, nobody at work mentioned it. You'd think somebody in the promotions department would want to make a fuss over something like that. I think I saw a picture once from '86 of an anniversary patch. Say, you were born by 1986, weren't you? Because you better tell me if you weren't.
"Yes, yes, you're in college, you're over 18. Anyway, I like what you did here. You took a little from each era, except for a couple of the really bad ones, and you tied it together with the present. Maybe you wanna do a little 'tying together' later, huh? Aw, don't be like that. I'm taking your work very seriously.
"I'll show you how seriously. I'm going to take this into the office and recommend it for the next yearbook cover. Sure, why not? I don't think anybody else there has thought about it and it looks good. It's got the past, it's got the present. Maybe not the future, but I don't worry about that. Between you and me, I've got a couple calls out where I'm dangling those kid minor league left-side infielders for a veteran bat. The future is now, baby, and it's ready to come right at you. How about turning off that light now and...
"Kidding! Just kidding! But I'm serious about the yearbook cover. I'm definitely going to show this to Nelson and Fred and, I suppose, Jeff. When you see it at the souvenir stands this season, you and I will know how it got on there, but promise me one thing: don't tell my wife about it, capeesh?"
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