Mar 05 2019 07:03 AM
John Donne was wrong. SOME men are Eilands. And I'm one of them.
I'm Dave Eiland, pitching coach of the New York Mets. My pitcher Jacob deGrom just won the Cy Young award and even if he was already awesome when I got here, I consider that a feather in my considerable cap. Did you see Zack Wheeler turn his career around mid-season last year? That's a feather too. I couldn't save Matt Harvey from his douchebag self, but, um ... when David Price won the Cy Young for Tampa Bay back in 2010, do you know who his pitching coach was? Well, it was Jim Hickey. But it was DAVE EILAND who was a special assistant with the team. That's right — feather.
I went to work with the Royals. And in 2013, the Royals had the lowest ERA in the American League. FEATHER! It was their lowest as a team since 1978 — FEATHER!! Every year from 2012 to 2016, my bullpen led all AL bullpens in ERA. My head hurts from supporting all these FEATHERS!!
And you know what happened in 2015? Well, my staff helped beat the Mets in the World Series. Do you remember what the weather was like that fall? It was FEATHER WEATHER!!
Even before I coached in the bigs, I was amassing feathers. The Yankees traditionally import their pitching. Well, back when DAVE EILAND was part of their development staff, they decided to grow their own pitchers. Phil Hughes, Joba Chamberlain, and Ian Kennedy ... who was coaching these peckers in the minor leagues? It was a guy who has pretty much got himself the most feathers since Sitting Bull.
So now I begin my second season with the Mets. "Make pitches, not excuses" is my motto. Which of my prized pupils is going to make me famous this year? Steven Matz? Ryan O'Rourke? Drew Smith? Don't be surprised if you see a Ryder Ryan breakthrough, because I'm Dave Eiland and feathers abound. NO MAN is an Eiland ... 'cept me, of course.
So we know I'm going to do GREAT this year, but how that greatness will manifest itself is a mystery. Unlock that mystery with your predictions below.