Mar 25 2019 07:53 PM
We all knew who the Mets' five starters were going to be. They were all lined up, none of them got dealt and none of them got hurt in camp.
But it takes more than five. And while Zach Lee and Drew Gagnon and Chris Flexen have already told you they're going to be number six — and I bet Oswald thinks it's him too — they're all wrong. Dead wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Wrong as the day is long. Santiago? LOL!
I bet you're asking, "Walker, why you buggin'? Just pitch and let it play out. Besides where do you get off getting all high and mighty when you had a 4.73 ERA in AAA last year?"
Come on! That's a 4.73 ERA in the Pacific Coast League. For El Paso. Some teams in the PCL play to the hitters because they're dry. Some play to the hitters because they're high in altitude. El Paso is both, damn it. Dry, thin air. Plus, it's just damned depressing walking around town, going, "I'm a pitcher in the high minors, right on the doorstep of the bigs. I'm a CHIHUAHUA!" How embarassing.
That's just a bullshit situation. But I pitched 50 more innings than anybody else on the team, and yeah, I took my lumps. But wait until you see me at sea level. You know how batters put those donuts around their bats to make them really heavy, and then when they take the donut off, the bat feels real light, and their arms feel like they can hit the ball 1,000 feet? Yeah, well that's what it's like for guys coming out of the high desert to suddenly pitch at sea level with some damned pressure in the air. YOU try and make a curveball curve without air pressure. IT CAN'T BE DONE.
But I can do things. For the Mets. I'm the only pitcher in big league history with the first name of Walker, but that's because God is an ironist. I'm gonna strike some peeps out. You'll see. You know, I don't turn 25 until May. I STILL HAVE UPSIDE, BITCHES!!!
But when will it be seen? How vividly? How enduringly? Help me out. It's going to be awesome, isn't it?
