Q/A

whippoorwill
Apr 19 2019 04:30 PM

I seem to be the only girl left

That said, it should be no surprise to you that I had mostly boy (male)friends growing up so I'm not offended by much.

I can do a mean armpit fart. Can you?

Edgy MD
Apr 19 2019 05:32 PM
Re: Q/A

I can. I'm even better at farting with my pecs.

What's the last social situation — cocktail party, theatre event, church service ... — that was so not for you, but you stuck around for a bit, forcing a false smile, carefully planning your exit, because it was so creepy you were afraid you'd cross somebody if you just up and left?

Double Switch
Apr 19 2019 05:48 PM
Re: Q/A

I like to be gender neutral. As kids, we liked to light our farts. Not the armpit kind. It's a thing but no flame actually occurs, contrary to popular myth. I cannot even imagine how one "farts" with one's pecs. Please describe.

As for awkward social events, being a dedicated introvert, I can last until the tipping point in social experiences, when someone invades my person space just once too often. A few weeks ago, I attended a lecture where people kept arriving after it had started and, finally, someone insisted upon crowding in on me just once too often. I was outta there. Pissed me off, though.

Lefty Specialist
Apr 19 2019 06:21 PM
Re: Q/A

Armpit farts only.

Was basically dragooned into a charity event with lots of super-rich hipster types. My wife and I were so horribly out of place that we spent an hour talking to each other until we felt it was safe to leave.

Edgy MD
Apr 19 2019 06:38 PM
Re: Q/A

Double Switch wrote:

I like to be gender neutral. As kids, we liked to light our farts. Not the armpit kind. It's a thing but no flame actually occurs, contrary to popular myth. I cannot even imagine how one "farts" with one's pecs. Please describe.

It helps your pecs are as dazzlingly powerful as mine. You seat the heel of your right hand into your sternum, make a cup with your palm and fingers, with your badfinger reaching the far side of your left nip. Your seal won't immediately be hermetic, but then you flex that pec and you not only create a seal, but something of a vacuum under your cupped hand. You pull it quickly toward your right pec, breaking the vacuum seal with a horizontal drag, and the sound that emits, well, it's goddamn fun for the whole family.

Frayed Knot
Apr 19 2019 06:52 PM
Re: Q/A

Double Switch wrote:
I cannot even imagine how one "farts" with one's pecs. Please describe.

Translation: He has man-boobs

Double Switch
Apr 19 2019 07:09 PM
Re: Q/A

Frayed Knot wrote:

Double Switch wrote:
I cannot even imagine how one "farts" with one's pecs. Please describe.

Translation: He has man-boobs

This qualifies as TMI.

Ceetar
Apr 19 2019 07:56 PM
Re: Q/A

Edgy MD wrote:

What's the last social situation — cocktail party, theatre event, church service ... — that was so not for you, but you stuck around for a bit, forcing a false smile, carefully planning your exit, because it was so creepy you were afraid you'd cross somebody if you just up and left?

there are social situations that aren't like this?

Edgy MD
Apr 19 2019 08:01 PM
Re: Q/A

Some more than others.

I had a distinctly creepy church experience this afternoon. There were so many "ushers" working the property, I was certain they were going to chase me into the parking lot when I left early — and try to get me to buy into a time share or sell some Amway.