May 07 2019 10:36 AM
>
Well, we're 35 games into the season, and I finally get a chance to put myself forward. You've already seen Good Noah and Bad Noah, Manbun Noah and Flowing Locks Noah, Noah Who Bitches About His Teammate Not Getting Paid and Noah With the Power of a Volcano. KRAKATOA NOAH!
You've seen pretty much all I've got to show, except maybe Noah with A Barking Elbow and Noah with an Infectious Disease Associated with Filthy Children. Let's hope those guys don't show up.
But with this prediction feature dragging on well in to the season, you've got more of a head start than you're ever going to need. What's my season going to be like? More homers? An All-Star selection. Good starts ruined by one or two lazy pitches? It's worth noting that even after that dominant complete game, I'm waking up with a 5.09 ERA, so I'm pointed in the right direction, but I haven't landed the plane yet.
What else do you see? Endorsement deals? Hollywood cameos? Page Six gossip? Crazy-ass girlfriend?
That ERA sucks, but my peripherals are mostly good, and unlike Harvey, so are my PR peripherals. Mostly.
But in that ambiguity is a world of gray for the big blonde giant. What's going to emerge? Our lines our open.