Master Index of Archived Threads


Headlines

Frayed Knot Oct 09 2019 04:30 PM

I think we had a thread of these a while back but it probably got lost in the forum update. Anyway, from the NYDN comes: LOUISIANA WOMAN ADMITS TO OWNING THE METH FOUND IN HER VAGINA Which I suppose is more believable than the 'I have no idea know how it got there' excuse.

MFS62 Oct 09 2019 05:21 PM Re: Headlines

It'll be tough to top THAT one. Later

batmagadanleadoff Oct 09 2019 05:31 PM Re: Headlines

=MFS62 post_id=24101 time=1570663282 user_id=60] It'll be tough to top THAT one. Later

Maybe, but I'll try:



LOUISIANA WOMAN ADMITS TO OWNING THE VAGINA FOUND IN HER METH.

MFS62 Oct 09 2019 05:47 PM Re: Headlines

=batmagadanleadoff post_id=24103 time=1570663909 user_id=68] LOUISIANA WOMAN ADMITS TO OWNING THE VAGINA FOUND IN HER METH.

We're waiting breathlessly to see the baseball card you'll design for that one.

But the forces of decency would shut this place down if you tried.

Later

Double Switch Oct 09 2019 08:17 PM Re: Headlines

LOUISIANA WOMAN ADMITS TO OWNING THE VAGINA FOUND IN HER METH. Later I gotta ask: what does "Later" actually mean and why do you keep writing it? Wouldn't once be enough? Beating people over the head with constant "Later"s seems overkill. As for vaginas, it's a mystery just what and how much can be hidden there.

MFS62 Oct 10 2019 05:37 AM Re: Headlines

As I've posted before, I feel "good-bye" seems final, as though we may never meet again. "Later" is an optimistic way of saying I hope we will all be well and will meet again. (even electronically) To me, it needs to be restated each time, more philosophical than anything else. And typing it each time is more important than including it in the signature line that is entered automatically. Later

MFS62 Oct 10 2019 05:39 AM Re: Headlines

Double Switch wrote: I gotta ask: what does "Later" actually mean and why do you keep writing it? Wouldn't once be enough? Beating people over the head with constant "Later"s seems overkill. As I've posted before, I feel "good-bye" seems final, as though we may never meet again. "Later" is an optimistic way of saying I hope we will all be well and will meet again. (even electronically) To me, it needs to be restated each time, more philosophical than anything else. And typing it each time is more important than including it in the signature line that is entered automatically. Later

Lefty Specialist Oct 10 2019 05:49 AM Re: Headlines

https://resizing.flixster.com/_MaUq83dR43kOUfBsaFPB-gpsEs=/fit-in/200x296.2962962962963/v1.bTsxMjM5NTQ0MztwOzE4MjMzOzEyMDA7MjQ4OzM2Nw>

Double Switch Oct 10 2019 09:12 AM Re: Headlines

Double Switch wrote: I gotta ask: what does "Later" actually mean and why do you keep writing it? Wouldn't once be enough? Beating people over the head with constant "Later"s seems overkill. As I've posted before, I feel "good-bye" seems final, as though we may never meet again. "Later" is an optimistic way of saying I hope we will all be well and will meet again. (even electronically) To me, it needs to be restated each time, more philosophical than anything else. And typing it each time is more important than including it in the signature line that is entered automatically. Later Does this count as a baseball superstition?

MFS62 Oct 10 2019 07:25 PM Re: Headlines

Double Switch wrote: Does this count as a baseball superstition? No, it has nothing to do with baseball. And it is not a superstition when you are wishing people well. It is being nice. Some folks here have made fun of it before, but I attribute that to being good natured and not being nasty. Later

kcmets Oct 10 2019 08:06 PM Re: Headlines

=MFS62 post_id=24214 time=1570757150 user_id=60]Some folks here have made fun of it before

I've said it verbally since the 70's but to end every post here with it is a

a bit OCD or something in my humble opinion. hahaha



Going to Stormville this weekend?

Double Switch Oct 10 2019 08:41 PM Re: Headlines

Some folks here have made fun of it before I've said it verbally since the 70's but to end every post here with it is a a bit OCD or something in my humble opinion. hahaha I am neither making fun nor being nasty. I genuinely just don't get why you need to do it every time. Here's the thing: I used to watch Monk. That character had masses of fetishes including touching all vertical things - poles, posts, parking meters - and had to do it every time or have anxiety attacks. I watched that show until they replaced that foxy Bitty Schram and her comically slutty outfits with the school marm lady. But I digress. What I mean to say is, to the reader, it's like saying "over" as if it were a radio transmission. And after a while it totally loses meaning. You think you're wishing well but to me it's just a quirk. If you must do it, I will accept that you must and it's your prerogative. If you will accept that it is sort of annoying to read it every time then I will consider the topic closed.

MFS62 Oct 11 2019 05:05 AM Re: Headlines

You got me. If not fully OCD, let's just say I'm a creature of habit. But with my recent health issues, please just chalk it up to a hope I will be around to post again. And I watch Monk re-runs when they are on. But I like both assistants. They are both needed by him in their own unique ways as they helped him deal with his tragedy. Case, I'm not sure if I'll be at Stormville. But if I go, do you know which space number your friends will have? Later

HahnSolo Oct 11 2019 08:12 AM Re: Headlines

All this time I just thought it was part of your signature.

Benjamin Grimm Oct 11 2019 08:15 AM Re: Headlines

I thought that too, until one time that I noticed it was accidentally typed as "LAter"

Double Switch Oct 11 2019 12:04 PM Re: Headlines

Now that this has been thoroughly chewed and swallowed, I'll add that in my humble point of view (imhpov), all comments on an internet chat board take place in constant time. There is only now, no later. But, whatever soothes your soul is certainly not in my own purview to criticize. Back to the headlines notion: I'd like to submit that previous to Trump, no headline ever started out or needed to start out with "TRUMP LASHES OUT --- (fill in the rest depending upon the day)."

kcmets Oct 11 2019 01:57 PM Re: Headlines

=MFS62 post_id=24232 time=1570791952 user_id=60]You got me. If not fully OCD, let's just say I'm a creature of habit.

I think some OCD is generally required to post here every day.
=MFS62 post_id=24232 time=1570791952 user_id=60]Case, I'm not sure if I'll be at Stormville. But if I go, do you know which space number your friends will have?
I don't know and cant recall if it's a 'runway' weekend or the 'spread out' one

Columbus Day Weekend but we'll just wing it if we go tomorrow.

Frayed Knot Oct 14 2019 05:36 PM Re: Headlines

Again it's the New York Daily News (once this country's largest circulation daily) supplying the best dirt: NAKED MAN DIES WHILE SMOKING ON HIS QUEENS FRONT PORCH So many things to consider in this one. Was this his first time smoking naked on his front porch or his usual habit? Did the nakedness or the smoking play any factor in the death ... or if both were simply coincidental? Was the cigarette still lit when he was found?

Double Switch Oct 14 2019 06:48 PM Re: Headlines

Frayed Knot wrote: Again it's the New York Daily News (once this country's largest circulation daily) supplying the best dirt: NAKED MAN DIES WHILE SMOKING ON HIS QUEENS FRONT PORCH So many things to consider in this one. Was this his first time smoking naked on his front porch or his usual habit? Did the nakedness or the smoking play any factor in the death ... or if both were simply coincidental? Was the cigarette still lit when he was found? Or was it even a cigarette. Never rule out spontaneous combustion.

kcmets Oct 14 2019 06:56 PM Re: Headlines

Double Switch wrote: Or was it even a cigarette. Never rule out spontaneous combustion. "Hey Ralph? Mind if I smoke ?” “I don't care if you burn.”

Double Switch Oct 14 2019 06:57 PM Re: Headlines

A-a-a-nd just like that! I ran across a feasible headline nominee. On ABC News: Polar bear wanders across a baseball field in Manitoba It's claimed the bear weighs 200 pounds and I want to know who weighed it.

Lefty Specialist Oct 24 2019 05:40 PM Re: Headlines

Karma is a pair of sharp antlers. Deer fatally attacks hunter who shot him https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/deer-fatally-attacks-hunter-who-shot-him/ar-AAJiNr4?ocid=spartandhp

kcmets Oct 25 2019 06:00 AM Re: Headlines Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Oct 25 2019 07:58 AM

TRUMP, RNC BREAKS PRESIENTIAL FUNDRAISING RECORD $157 Million Cash on Hand Compared to Democrats $8.6M Yikes!

Edgy MD Oct 25 2019 07:43 AM Re: Headlines

Frayed Knot wrote: Again it's the New York Daily News (once this country's largest circulation daily) supplying the best dirt: NAKED MAN DIES WHILE SMOKING ON HIS QUEENS FRONT PORCH So many things to consider in this one. Was this his first time smoking naked on his front porch or his usual habit? Did the nakedness or the smoking play any factor in the death ... or if both were simply coincidental? Was the cigarette still lit when he was found? Did he have other front porches in other parts of the city? I'm curious why they thought to list the home borough of the porch but not the man.

Frayed Knot Oct 25 2019 01:55 PM Re: Headlines

Maybe all the details weren't yet in, re: his name. But, being that he was smoking naked, at least they immediately knew it was, in fact, a man.

Benjamin Grimm Oct 25 2019 02:10 PM Re: Headlines

Well, he wasn't alive so he couldn't really confirm his pronouns, could he?

kcmets Oct 25 2019 02:13 PM Re: Headlines

Perhaps they meant, "QUEEN'S FRONT PORCH?"

Frayed Knot Oct 25 2019 02:28 PM Re: Headlines

Benjamin Grimm wrote: Well, he wasn't alive so he couldn't really confirm his pronouns, could he? Y'know, I actually thought of that while I was typing -- to say that the body was one which was outwardly male -- but figured ... Nah! I recently read a book on the human skeleton and the author was so politically correct that he'd go out of his way to NOT to identify some ancient find as being male or female, only that it was from someone who was osteologically female even though he couldn't confirm what said person considered him/herself during his/her/their lifetime. And I'm thinking: 'Really, Dude?!!?' The book wasn't particularly good anyway, and this sort of verbal gymnastics didn't help.

Edgy MD Oct 31 2019 09:05 PM Re: Headlines

K-Pop star Wonho leaves Monsta X Least clickable CNN story ever?

Willets Point Nov 01 2019 09:47 AM Re: Headlines

CORDUROY PILLOWS

Edgy MD Nov 11 2019 10:51 AM Re: Headlines

When good stories have bad headlines. VERY bad headlines. Former NFL Player Warrick Dunn Donates 173rd Home to Single Mom That's Fully Furnished You've got to be actively trying to assemble a headline that's that bad, right?

kcmets Nov 11 2019 11:06 AM Re: Headlines

What did she do with the first 172?

Benjamin Grimm Nov 11 2019 11:54 AM Re: Headlines

And it's not every day that you meet a woman who's fully furnished!

Johnny Lunchbucket Nov 11 2019 01:29 PM Re: Headlines

Fully furnished = giant ass.

whippoorwill Nov 11 2019 01:38 PM Re: Headlines

Lol I wonder if she has 173 kids too?

Frayed Knot Nov 14 2019 01:27 PM Re: Headlines

NYDN: GIRAFFE HIT BY TAXI DIES AND FALLS ONTO JEEP, KILLING SWISS TOURIST

Double Switch Nov 14 2019 01:48 PM Re: Headlines

Frayed Knot wrote: NYDN: GIRAFFE HIT BY TAXI DIES AND FALLS ONTO JEEP, KILLING SWISS TOURIST I see a movie there. . . . not a good movie, but ...

Lefty Specialist Nov 20 2019 11:46 AM Re: Headlines

A Lawmaker Denied Ripping An Absolutely Enormous Fart On Live Television https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/addybaird/eric-swalwell-denies-fart-msnbc-chris-matthews

Frayed Knot Nov 29 2019 01:47 PM Re: Headlines

Police: 'TEACHER OF THE YEAR' HAD ORAL SEX WITH STUDENT IN CLASSROOM Well, shyeet, how'd you think she got to be 'Teacher of the Year' in the first place?!?

Lefty Specialist Dec 15 2019 12:03 PM Re: Headlines

Been a while since a 'Florida Man' headline...… Florida man died from meth overdose before he was eaten by alligator

Lefty Specialist Dec 19 2019 06:28 AM Re: Headlines

US government lists fictional nation Wakanda as trade partner https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2019/12/trump-usda-black-panther-wakanda-free-trade-partner-tariff-tracker.html

Frayed Knot Jan 04 2020 01:26 PM Re: Headlines

TWO CANADIAN MEN HOSPITALIZED AFTER BEATING EACH OTHER WITH HOCKEY STICKS 'LIL WAYNE'S PRIVATE PLANE DETAINED AFTER DRUGS AND GUNS FOUND ON BOARD Oh wait, my bad, I meant to put these two in the 'Headlines you DO expect to see' thread.

Fman99 Jan 04 2020 03:11 PM Re: Headlines

Johnny Lunchbucket wrote: Fully furnished = giant ass. I like a fully furnished gal, not gonna lie. Couchy, you know?

Edgy MD Jan 07 2020 10:38 AM Re: Headlines

How to Attract the Relationship You Really Want Why you keep dating the same type of people and what to do about it It isn't really the headline that got to me, but the fact that they went to Getty Images looking for a lede illustration and came back with what looks like a shot of a young adult kissing an 11-year-old in front of a natural disaster. [fimg=500]https://miro.medium.com/max/2783/1*Jzu63zOX3Ryg8sJJalvuIw.jpeg[/fimg]

kcmets Feb 24 2020 07:17 PM Re: Headlines

Chinese Manufactured Bubble Wrap Blamed For Worldwide Virus Spread - Don't pop it, there's bad air in those bubbles

kcmets Feb 28 2020 11:37 AM Re: Headlines

Florida Man Accused of Sucking Patient's Toes Inside Hospital Room I can't even click on that, I mean what the fuck is wrong with people?

kcmets Apr 20 2020 12:40 PM Re: Headlines

CNN Sees 71% Increase in Ad Revunue in First Quarter, Pledges Half to C-19 Testing and Hospital PPE

Frayed Knot Aug 09 2020 05:18 AM Re: Headlines

Lefty Specialist wrote: Florida man died from meth overdose before he was eaten by alligator This one is up there with the old story about the guy trying to convince the judge that he wasn't responsible for setting his hotel bed on fire, that in fact the bed was already on fire prior to him getting into it. I mean, sure, we found this guy's remains inside a fucking alligator, but we've determined that he OD'd even before managing to somehow become a reptile snack. So anyway, leave it to the NYDN to revive this dormant thread with: NAKED GERMAN MAN CHASES DOWN FERAL HOG THAT STOLE HIS LAPTOP I hate when that happens.

Frayed Knot Aug 24 2020 07:11 PM Re: Headlines

NYDN: Florida Woman Pummels 59 Year Old Dad for Farting Too Much

kcmets Aug 24 2020 07:20 PM Re: Headlines

Hope my wife never gets wind of that headline.

Edgy MD Aug 24 2020 08:23 PM Re: Headlines

It's not like getting pummeled makes me fart less.

Frayed Knot Sep 19 2020 08:55 PM Re: Headlines

NY Post: POLICE FIND LOADED GUN IN MAN'S BUTTOCKS DURING STRIP SEARCH Well how else would you find a loaded gun in a man's buttocks?

Frayed Knot Nov 06 2020 07:51 AM Re: Headlines

NY POST: MAN BANNED FROM YELLOWSTONE FOR TRYING TO FRY CHICKENS IN HOT SPRING I dunno, this sounds like an excellent use of renewable and non-fossil fuel energy if you ask me.

Lefty Specialist Nov 06 2020 01:22 PM Re: Headlines

That would technically be boiling, not frying.

whippoorwill Dec 15 2020 09:22 AM Re: Headlines

Looking through a scrapbook my grandma kept in the 30s and 40s I came across a five year old girl had had a baby. Lina Medina of Peru.

Edgy MD Dec 29 2020 03:46 PM Re: Headlines

Somebody from my hometown of Rockville Centre let me know that champion swimmer and actor Johnny Weissmuller had once lived there. I hadn't known that (you'd think he'd live in Tarzana), so I did a little research. I wasn't able to find the confirmation I was looking for, but I did stumble across the May 13, 1960 issue of The Desert Sun, a daily that still publishes, covering a circulation area of Palm Springs, CA, and the Coachella Valley Desert. Well, apparently the institution of special education programs was a big concern at the time, because look at the headline they put above the masthead. https://metsrostercentral.files.wordpress.com/2020/12/screen-shot-2020-12-29-at-5.34.22-pm.png> Perhaps that was the sort of headline that led to a lot of impulse buys the spring of 1960, but the editor wasn't done. You open to the story, and you see where he or she had to pare down the headline's verbiage in order to conserve space. Was any meaning lost in that paring-down? YOU be the judge! https://metsrostercentral.files.wordpress.com/2020/12/screen-shot-2020-12-29-at-5.35.38-pm.png>

Frayed Knot Dec 30 2020 08:03 PM Re: Headlines

Ladies and gentlemen, the New York Post: NYC MAN CUTS OFF PENIS, THROWS IT IN THE TOILET

Frayed Knot Mar 06 2021 01:02 PM Re: Headlines

NYDN: FLORIDA WOMAN BEATS ROOMMATE OVER REPEATEDLY PLAYING 'LE FREAK' 1) I think this falls under the category of justifiable beating 2) Of course it's a Florida woman.

MFS62 Mar 06 2021 01:36 PM Re: Headlines

Frayed Knot wrote: NYDN: FLORIDA WOMAN BEATS ROOMMATE OVER REPEATEDLY PLAYING 'LE FREAK' That wasn't very chic of her. Later

whippoorwill Mar 06 2021 04:02 PM Re: Headlines

Good one!

Edgy MD Mar 06 2021 09:36 PM Re: Headlines

I have to score that round for Florida over New York.

Johnny Lunchbucket Mar 26 2021 07:17 AM Re: Headlines

Missouri man's alleged motive for killings wife, in-laws: ‘They wouldn't leave'

MFS62 Mar 26 2021 07:57 AM Re: Headlines

Johnny Lunchbucket wrote: Missouri man's alleged motive for killing in-laws: ‘They wouldn't leave' NOT GUILTY! Justifiable homicide. Later

Frayed Knot Apr 28 2021 12:23 PM Re: Headlines

NY Post: MAN BUSTED AT JFK WITH 35 LIVE FINCHES STUFFED INSIDE HAIR CURLERS

Frayed Knot Jun 08 2021 04:50 AM Re: Headlines

Been a while since we had a good Florida (wo)Man story, so we turn to the New York Daily News for our latest fix: HALF NAKED WOMAN SMASHES UP TWO RESTAURANTS, BATTLES COPS Or, as they call it in Florida, Monday

Benjamin Grimm Jun 08 2021 05:41 AM Re: Headlines

Doing the math, if she was fully naked she would have been able to smash up four restaurants.

Willets Point Jun 08 2021 08:02 AM Re: Headlines

There's video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1oTASs57i8

Edgy MD Jun 08 2021 06:02 PM Re: Headlines

Benjamin Grimm wrote: Doing the math, if she was fully naked she would have been able to smash up four restaurants. I too have been doing math, and that woman is more than half naked.

Lefty Specialist Jul 14 2021 02:36 PM Re: Headlines

WaPo: Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro hospitalized after 10 days of hiccups https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2021/07/14/bolsonaro-hospitalized-hiccups/

Lefty Specialist Oct 27 2021 11:33 AM Re: Headlines

Woman claims strawberry Pop-Tarts don't have enough strawberries, sues for $5 million https://www.nbcnews.com/business/business-news/woman-claims-strawberry-pop-tarts-don-t-have-enough-strawberries-n1282442

Benjamin Grimm Oct 27 2021 11:41 AM Re: Headlines

If this works, I'm going to file a similar claim for blueberry Pop-Tarts.

MFS62 Oct 27 2021 01:05 PM Re: Headlines

Benjamin Grimm wrote: If this works, I'm going to file a similar claim for blueberry Pop-Tarts. Unfortunately, my favorite was the Cinnamon Pop-Tarts. How do you count cinnamon? Later

Edgy MD Feb 13 2022 08:48 AM Re: Headlines

Bob Saget's fatal head injury is a wake-up call for us all I don't want to make too much of this because, dear God, the man is dead, but are we all, really, too casually dismissive about the health risks of hitting one's head on hotel furniture?

Edgy MD Feb 15 2022 09:03 AM Re: Headlines

Putting Harriet Tubman On A $20 Bill Won't End Inequality Well, shit.

Frayed Knot Feb 15 2022 11:14 AM Re: Headlines

That's the most depressing news I've heard since I learned that me buying a Hootie and the Blowfish record wasn't going to end racial prejudice.

kcmets Feb 15 2022 12:23 PM Re: Headlines

What they should do: Keep the $1, $5 and $100 people... Washington, Lincoln and Franklin rock! Issue $10, $20, $30, $40 and $50 bills randomly with like fifty historical people.

Willets Point Feb 15 2022 12:27 PM Re: Headlines

On the other hand, giving people a whole bunch of Tubmans through some sort of UBI could do a lot to address inequality.

Lefty Specialist Feb 16 2022 08:38 AM Re: Headlines

The Onion is a national treasure. Judge Dismisses ‘New York Times' Libel Suit Brought By Cannibal Terrorist Sarah Palin https://www.theonion.com/judge-dismisses-new-york-times-libel-suit-brought-by-1848541793?utm_campaign=TheOnion&utm_content=1644954949&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_source=twitter

Edgy MD Mar 01 2022 11:51 AM Re: Headlines

Salma Hayek stranded on SAG Awards stage because Michael Keaton was in the bathroom If you don't click, it's like you don't even care what's going on in the world.

kcmets Mar 02 2022 03:37 PM Re: Headlines

Kim Kardashian got divorced. For anyone who knows who she is...

Frayed Knot Dec 21 2022 05:29 AM Re: Headlines

Two courtesy of the NY Post today AIRLINE MISTAKENLY SHIPS FAMILY'S NASHVILLE-BOUND DOG TO SAUDI ARABIA (I think this shows we're not teaching geography in this country as thoroughly as we should) But or course it just wouldn't be the Post without: MAN WITH WWI EXPLOSIVE LODGED IN HIS RECTUM SPARKS BOMB SCARE, HOSPITAL EVACUATION (I sure hope it did)

MFS62 Dec 22 2022 02:14 PM Re: Headlines

Rectum? Darn near killed him. (rim shot) Later

Frayed Knot Jan 29 2023 02:23 PM Re: Headlines

NY POST: BOY PLAYING HIDE-AND-SEEK FOUND SIX DAYS LATER IN ANOTHER COUNTRY I guess that means he won.