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Gee it be.
Dillon was a facial-hair guy. No big whoop. The testosterone that
made him a big league pitcher also took from his scalp and gave to
his chin. And other places. The man could make body hair grow.
But some crazy shit happened around 2012. Some say he turned a
witch disguised as a beggar from his door. Others say he spoke ill
of Capa, the Lakota beaver god. More common is the far simpler
notion that he lost a bet.
To Pete Rose.
What all agree on is that a small woodland mammal apparently
crawled right up on to his face one night, attached itself, and died.
What he was left with was enough to get him a spot as guest villain
on one of BML's Bat-Man cards.
The Buono Tutti Barba, it became known as, and it was Dillon's
close companion through 2012 into 2013. It even co-starred with him
on PlayStation3.
  http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pj0ZLC8MChc/T4TtdI-QCKI/AAAAAAAAC98/tQ-KUyTvcJk/s640/MLB-12-The-Show.jpg>
Despite the beard, or because of it, Dillon had his most successful run
during this period, making him the Mets unlikely opening day starter in
2014, a role which he blessedly took on with a face as hairless as the
ass of a Lithuanian toddler. Though, maybe the beard had some powers.
The Mets took the loss that afternoon, one of only three losses in their
last 14 openers. Dillon would miss 1/3 of the season with injury and
would never pitch effectively for the team again.
Sometimes, you shouldn't fuck with the beard.
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