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Rule of Eight

Edgy MD Apr 19 2020 11:38 AM

This was a theme that passed through this forum sometime back as an aside (possibly by LWFS). It might apply only to street food, or might apply only to New York City food, or it might apply only to New York City street food. But the idea was that a dish loses it's authenticity (or street cred?) once it gets past eight varieties. There were eight credible toppings for pizza, and once you got past those, you were paying too much for your pizza. There were eight acceptable varieties for bagels, and once you get beyond that, gtfo. I had not heard this theory, but sensed at least some truth in it. On one hand, enforcement of the rule had a counter-progessive tone to it, on the other, it was a good way to figure out if there were pod people among you. Your kid brings home a girl and she orders a chocolate chip bagel, wedding bells may not be in the future. Anyhow, I'm just wondering if anybody else recalls this conversation, and to what other foods might it apply (or have applied)? Italian cookies? C&C cola? Daiquiris? Knishes?

Benjamin Grimm Apr 19 2020 11:45 AM Re: Rule of Eight

Oreos? They're probably already past the Rule of Sixty Four.

Edgy MD Apr 19 2020 11:52 AM Re: Rule of Eight

Yeah, but can you spot an inauthentic gourmand by the the type of Oreos on his or her plate? I imagine you make it a policy to aggressively steer clear of any and all bullshit Pop-Tart connoisseurs. "Watermelon Vegemite? That sounds interesting. Would you excuse me a moment?"

Benjamin Grimm Apr 19 2020 12:13 PM Re: Rule of Eight

Bullshit Pop-Tart connoisseurs are the bane of my existence.

MFS62 Apr 19 2020 01:15 PM Re: Rule of Eight

For me, potato chips. After salt, onion, garlic, hot(spicy), vinegar and pickle (and that's a stretch), what else? But Lays keeps trying to introduce new flavors in four-flavor tests, with the buyers voting. I can't wait for tutti-fruity (S/M = 99). Any added flavor should be in the dip. Later

Chad ochoseis Apr 19 2020 01:29 PM Re: Rule of Eight

Hummus. Hummus is a bean paste made from chickpeas, tahini, garlic, lemon, and olive oil. It does not involve chocolate.

Ceetar Apr 19 2020 02:41 PM Re: Rule of Eight

horse hockey, mostly. It probably ties to the quality over quantity argument, but that's hardly conclusive either. I dig asiago cheese bagels for instance. Chocolate chip bagels can be good, I like sweet things and a dab of sweetness is appreciated in a bagel sometimes. Doesn't apply to baseball either. 8 teams? boring.

Edgy MD Apr 19 2020 05:08 PM Re: Rule of Eight

Thirty baseball teams provide almost no variety, to be honest.

batmagadanleadoff Apr 19 2020 05:13 PM Re: Rule of Eight

I know this is pure fantasy, but I would love to see eight team leagues. With no playoffs. Or at most, the top two teams in each league meet in a playoff. I'd definitely watch more baseball.

metsmarathon Apr 19 2020 06:49 PM Re: Rule of Eight

hmm... what ARE the eight acceptable varieties of bagel? because, done right, chocolate chip better be right up on there. French toast, too. fight me.

Benjamin Grimm Apr 19 2020 06:53 PM Re: Rule of Eight

The only kind of bagel I generally buy is plain, egg, poppy, or cinnamon raisin.

Edgy MD Apr 19 2020 07:35 PM Re: Rule of Eight

I guess the classicks are: plain, sesame, poppy, onion, egg, raisin, pumpernickel, and salt?

MFS62 Apr 20 2020 05:40 AM Re: Rule of Eight

Edgy MD wrote: I guess the classicks are: plain, sesame, poppy, onion, egg, raisin, pumpernickel, and salt? I never saw egg and pumpernickel when I bought bagels in the bagel shops I remember as a kid. Later

Edgy MD Apr 20 2020 07:01 AM Re: Rule of Eight

You go back to the ... Rule of Six?

MFS62 Apr 20 2020 07:05 AM Re: Rule of Eight

Edgy MD wrote: You go back to the ... Rule of Six? For bagels. Later

cal sharpie Apr 20 2020 10:47 AM Re: Rule of Eight

Bagels are serious business. For me, cinnamon raisin bagels are for children only. You want sweet breakfasty things - get a muffin.

41Forever Apr 20 2020 11:45 AM Re: Rule of Eight

I have a bagel every morning! I love poppy seed, and the local place -- which is not up to New York standards, but is the best we got -- has a "dozen day" every Tuesday, when the price is reduced. They have a dozen poppy seed bagels for me ready to go, every other week. Occasionally, when I stop in for a one-off and there if are no poppy seeds, I get a sesame seed and on rare occasions, a chocolate chip. They make a bunch of varieties -- like things with cheese melted on top -- that I want no part of.

Ceetar Apr 20 2020 11:57 AM Re: Rule of Eight

cheese on top, cheese in the middle, what's the difference?

LWFS Apr 20 2020 08:33 PM Re: Rule of Eight Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Apr 21 2020 07:50 AM

cheese on top, cheese in the middle, what's the difference? Cereal, lasagna, a pile of morcilla, and seven vodka stingers together in my belly or pureed together in a big fucking bowl and ingested intravenously-- what's the difference? cal sharpie wrote: Bagels are serious business. For me, cinnamon raisin bagels are for children only. You want sweet breakfasty things - get a muffin. THANK you. Plain, poppy, sesame, onion, garlic, everything (more recent, but something of an instant classic). I can see to stuff like rye or egg or pumpernickel, even if they're not my jam, because it kinda sorta fits in the eastern-European appetizing taste family. Cinnamon raisin's more for babkas and rugelach, but... okay, with a forgiving shmear like cream cheese or butter (again, not my jam--along with jam-- but still). Non-traditional ingredients are one thing... but if they're doing something entirely different than the original thing is meant to do-- make a bagel out of pancake batter and fill it with syrup, or make a sweet potato bagel and shmear it with turkey salad-- and it's not engaging at all with the thought or tradition behind the original thing, then it's not just a violation in letter of the law, but in the spirit. It's not just a taste thing... it's bad taste. This wasn't a conversation I started (sorry, bml), and I'm not really a purist, but if you're doing something different to traditional ethnic food, do it for a reason, some reason. Otherwise, it's gratuitous. I mean, chocolate chip bagels? Are you fucking ten?

batmagadanleadoff Apr 20 2020 10:48 PM Re: Rule of Eight

This wasn't a conversation I started (sorry, bml), and I'm not really a purist, but if you're doing something different to traditional ethnic food, do it for a reason, some reason. Otherwise, it's gratuitous. I mean, chocolate chip bagels? Are you fucking ten? A little help!?! Am stumped on the "bml" reference. If it helps, I never had a chocolate chip bagel, nor am I inclined to have one. I did put some capers in my bagel a few months ago, though that's not the same thing as a caper bagel. I'm more of a bagel purist.

LWFS Apr 20 2020 11:05 PM Re: Rule of Eight

This wasn't a conversation I started (sorry, bml), and I'm not really a purist, but if you're doing something different to traditional ethnic food, do it for a reason, some reason. Otherwise, it's gratuitous. I mean, chocolate chip bagels? Are you fucking ten? A little help!?! Am stumped on the "bml" reference. If it helps, I never had a chocolate chip bagel, nor am I inclined to have one. I did put some capers in my bagel a few months ago, though that's not the same thing as a caper bagel. I'm more of a bagel purist. Sorry... meant Edge. Somehow forgot who'd started the thread. Capers are nice in a bagel. My 10-year-old practically REQUIRES them in hers. I think I've raised her right... on that front, anyhow.

batmagadanleadoff Apr 20 2020 11:08 PM Re: Rule of Eight

They're so goddamn salty, though. Those capers were a Russ & Daughters option. Never had capers on a bagel before that. I liked 'em -- with the cream cheese and lox and tomatoes and onions. But no chocolate chips.

metsmarathon Apr 21 2020 06:19 AM Re: Rule of Eight

cal sharpie wrote: Bagels are serious business. For me, cinnamon raisin bagels are for children only. You want sweet breakfasty things - get a muffin. i can't. i'm a muffin purist. and cinnamon raising isn't one of the eight.

41Forever Apr 21 2020 07:21 AM Re: Rule of Eight Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Apr 21 2020 08:17 AM

While bagels are available here, it is impossible to find bialys. Growing up, on our way home from church we'd swing by the bagel store and get a bag of bagels and Dad would also get a couple bailys -- not sure if that's the proper plural -- because he knew I liked them. My favorite bagel story. I was attending a conference up at Columbia, and every day I'd run to a nearby bagel store, because nothing out here compares to the real thing. On the last day, before heading to the airport, I stopped at the store again and this time I bought a dozen poppy seed bagels, and asked the clerk if he had a plastic bag, explaining that I had to fit them in my luggage. He asked where I was going and why I wanted to buy so many. Then he went back to the counter and loaded me up with a bunch more, on the house. Those bagels were amazing.

LWFS Apr 21 2020 07:49 AM Re: Rule of Eight

BIG bialy guy here. When I'm doing a "bagel sandwich," I'm opting for a bialy. (In my mouth, bagels are for shmears, some pickled things, and a little smoked fish, maybe.)

Ceetar Apr 21 2020 07:51 AM Re: Rule of Eight

like everything, there's a core 'expert level' thing, and then interesting variations that are also awesome. Taco Bell, to a very many people, tastes delicious. and it does, it's meat and cheese and yummy. It's not exactly pure mexican food though. All bagels are (provided the bread part is done right) pretty good. You wanna mix strawberry in the batter and dip them in chocolate sprinkles outside? do it. delicious i bet. but the core competency that defines 'bagel shop'? I'd take it down to less than 8. Plain. Everything. (so a plain with 'toppings') Cinnamon Raisin (something a little on the sweeter side, cinnamon raisin is traditional, but you could swap it) Egg (or Pumpernickel, or rye, or whole grain, or spelt. This is your 'different base' bagel) And I think that's it. Everything else is a variation. Sesame and Poppy? Mostly exist for you to have something to do with your teeth the rest of the day. Make a good 'everything' mix (I know this was originally a catch-all, but not in my world) and that bagel is the one that has the additional herbs/seeds on it. Garlic or Onion are mostly 'intense' versions of everything. Salt is almost always too much and should be mixed into the everything anyway. Black russian? That's just a sesame anyway. Marble? looks pretty, but is just a blending of two bagels anyway. rainbow/green/red doesn't really make a new bagel. Jalapeno? intense. obviously a varietal. and yum on the bialy. definitely superior to Flagels. You know, I think I'll make bagels.

Fman99 Apr 21 2020 09:23 AM Re: Rule of Eight

If I'm picking my 8, I'm going with these. There was not a ton of thought to generate this list, these all come right to the forefront for me. Plain Egg Pumpernickel Garlic Onion Poppy Sesame Everything You can keep your cinnamon/raisin, chocolate chip, etc. If you want something round and sweet eat a donut.

cal sharpie Apr 21 2020 09:32 AM Re: Rule of Eight

Fman has it right. As mentioned earlier, cinnamon raisin for children - really children under 8.

Benjamin Grimm Apr 21 2020 10:00 AM Re: Rule of Eight

I will be 57 years old next month and I enjoy a cinnamon raisin bagel. Usually with cream cheese, but I'll eat it with butter if cream cheese isn't available. THERE! I said it!

metsmarathon Apr 21 2020 10:27 AM Re: Rule of Eight

cinnamon raisin was my go-to when i was a kid. in college i found the bagel shop down the street from my dorm made amazing chocolate chip bagels. probably used some bittersweet chocolate or something, so it wasn't too cloyingly sweet, and definitely not hershey's sour. Uh-May-Zing. An perfect pre-race meal before many a cross-country meet. Now that i'm in northwest Jersey, our local bagel shop does a decent job with their own chocolate chip bagel (and it seems to have improved of late), but where they really excel is their french toast bagel. I don't honestly give a shit that it's not a true bagel, because if they had french toast in poland back when they first invented bagels, they would have invented these things instead, damnit. picture it. an egg bagel, with little pockets of crystallized maple syrup embedded deep inside, topped with cinnamon crumbs and powdered sugar. fuck yeah, you don't put capers or lox on it. you toast it up, slather the insides with melted butter, or cream cheese if you so desire, and have a big ol' grownup party in your damned mouth. it's a fucking rave, complete with extasy and glowsticks and naked chicks and trippy blinking lights. if you're truly a monster you can even make a goddamn taylor ham egg and cheese outta the motherfucker. even i'm not that big a baller. but it can be done.

Ceetar Apr 21 2020 10:42 AM Re: Rule of Eight

sguar/sweet is awesome and there's nothing childish about it. That sounds pretty tasty too, how far "northwest" Jersey are we talking here? (Is there more than one NW jersey area?)

metsmarathon Apr 21 2020 10:57 AM Re: Rule of Eight

Sussex county. Bagel Bistro. 231 Newton Sparta Rd, Newton, NJ 07860. They're still open during the pandemic. and their bakers' dozens go to fourteen.

Ceetar Apr 21 2020 11:04 AM Re: Rule of Eight

an hour. (though not like we don't have time?) I like my local (Bagel Nosh, Waldwick) and they're good people, but I do think I'm gonna try this 'bake at home' thing.

cal sharpie Apr 21 2020 11:45 AM Re: Rule of Eight

Naturally I disagree with all of the above. I recently switched bagel shops because a new one had opened that made them just right: hard on the outside, soft on the inside. No puffed-up bullshit, no sugary bagels (other than the kiddie friendly cinnamon raisin). They had other savory choices, Sizchuan peppercorns for example, but no monstrosoties like sun-dried tomato bagels. Recently, however, their bagels have become puffy roll-like things. I'm considering writing the owner to protest.

Edgy MD Apr 21 2020 01:33 PM Re: Rule of Eight

See, to me, the inflated variety shouldn't really be considered a problem in and of itself. Vive la différence and whatnot. But yeah, that scenario above is the real deal. When your niche becomes ever-expanding variety, you tend to take your eye off the ball, and quality control plummets. Think about that first guy to claim he had thousands of songs as audiofiles, congratulating himself that he was the very model of an ... audiophile, I guess. But you ask him what he listened to them on and it was his laptop, or maybe earbuds, and he hadn't even considered going for high-end earphones, much less quality speakers. And even if he goes for the name-brand earphones, he has no idea what has been lost under compression, because he has fallen for the infinite variety ruse. On their 1987 album See How We Are, X lamented a world that offered them "seven kinds of Coke," and "500 kinds of cigarettes," while the expanding choices of death just served to increase people's anxiety and create greater alienation between them and the people behind the production. I don't have a whole lot of answers, but I can't avoid the big questions about economic issues these days. And I'm surprised at how many things — even small things —I end up seeing through that lens.

Ceetar Apr 21 2020 01:46 PM Re: Rule of Eight

I think the trick to inflated variety and the way to check for quality is if that variety is stagnant or rotational. Like if a bagel shop has a bagel of the week or two, that they're just fooling around with, that's fun. That's good variety. Someone has actively thought about the product. If it's a stale "The last owner had turkey bacon bagels and I just keep making a batch every morning because it's on this dog-eared recipe book" than maybe not. Same is true of beer bars (when they exist) The places that have 100 taps are not the one you want. You want the ones that can barely maintain the menu because they cycle through stuff so fast.

metsmarathon Apr 21 2020 02:20 PM Re: Rule of Eight

I mean, you're basically arguing against a place hitting on a winner and keeping it in stock. the way to check for quality is if the stock sells. if they keep making a peanut butter and poprocks bagel, and people buy as many as they can make, then good on them. no need to phase it out rotationally, unless you're trying to drive up demand by forcing scarcity. or if you don't have the capacity in the joint to produce more of it while also maintaining other stock. if you have the capacity to roll with two dozen types of bagels, and you sell all of 'em, and making any one kind doesn't prevent you from making more of another, why NOT keep rolling with what you got? you can have some products that rotate on in, as you try new stuff, but if you rotate too much of your stock out, you run the risk of alienating your customers who are looking for a steady breakfast partner.

Ceetar Apr 21 2020 02:37 PM Re: Rule of Eight

well i mean, how many bagels can one shop sell? you hit a point.. and even so, some bagels, or whatever can be extremely delicious and still only actually appeal to a few people or only appeal as a special treat. You venture too far and, while delicious, it becomes something else. Call it the Chicago Pizza conundrum. It might have it's place, but it's not scratching that 'pizza' itch. Like, you could make a delicious pumpkin spice bagel that everyone loves, but good chance they're not going to love it in February.

metsmarathon Apr 21 2020 02:56 PM Re: Rule of Eight

oh, they make a good pumpkin bagel. it's totally seasonal, but when it's pumpkin bagel season, even the french toast bagels fall by the wayside. most everything else they offer as far as bagels go is available year-round. and for the record, i would not turn down a good pumpkin bagel were one offered to me this very day. my joint has 20 bagels in their regular menu. some you may argue are bullshit, or redundant. but all sell, and sell fantastically, it sure seems. plain onion egg black russian rye blueberry sesame poppy garlic french toast sour dough whole grain great grain cinnamon raisin everything salt whole wheat pumpernickel apple cinnamon whole wheat everything asiago cheese

in fairness, the apple cinnamon does not appeal to me.

LWFS Apr 21 2020 03:31 PM Re: Rule of Eight Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Apr 21 2020 09:23 PM

like everything, there's a core 'expert level' thing, and then interesting variations that are also awesome. Taco Bell, to a very many people, tastes delicious. and it does, it's meat and cheese and yummy. It's not exactly pure mexican food though. It's not Mexican food. Pure and simple. It's American fast food in cartoon-"Mexican" shape-- founded by a white American, who opened up across the street from a Mexican American in San Diego, stole/reverse-engineered their recipes, then franchised the thing. I'm not in favor of willy-nilly accusations of "cultural appropriation," but Taco Bell is, like, the dictionary definition of the phenomenon. Has it introduced many people to a lifelong love of tacos/Mexican food, that they've then expanded to include the actual thing itself? Sure, maybe. But... Also, I love cheap food, too... but Taco Bell is pretty objectively shit. The meat in their basic tacos is LITERALLY sub-dog-food quality (though tbf I believe the steak is just above). All bagels are (provided the bread part is done right) pretty good. You wanna mix strawberry in the batter and dip them in chocolate sprinkles outside? do it. delicious i bet. That's a donut. You've just described a donut. Only, like, not a GOOD donut. Have you ever had a donut that could be improved by being 30% denser, with significant increase in chew? That's what you've just made. A chewy donut. Mazel tov! oh, they make a good pumpkin bagel. it's totally seasonal, but when it's pumpkin bagel season, even the french toast bagels fall by the wayside. most everything else they offer as far as bagels go is available year-round. and for the record, i would not turn down a good pumpkin bagel were one offered to me this very day. my joint has 20 bagels in their regular menu. some you may argue are bullshit, or redundant. but all sell, and sell fantastically, it sure seems. plain onion egg black russian rye blueberry sesame poppy garlic french toast sour dough whole grain great grain cinnamon raisin everything salt whole wheat pumpernickel apple cinnamon whole wheat everything asiago cheese in fairness, the apple cinnamon does not appeal to me.

Do I go for the whitefish or the sable on that pumpkin... or is it more of a sturgeon vehicle? Is a Black Russian, like, pumpernickel with different seeds... or is it supposed to taste like Kahlua and vodka? And if you've got a hankering for French toast in the morning, why not get, y'know, FRENCH TOAST?



I feel like having this discussion in the COVID Era is going to give me a stroke... or at the very least, turn into my personal "Jill Klein Voters."

batmagadanleadoff Apr 21 2020 03:51 PM Re: Rule of Eight

like everything, there's a core 'expert level' thing, and then interesting variations that are also awesome. Taco Bell, to a very many people, tastes delicious. and it does, it's meat and cheese and yummy. It's not exactly pure mexican food though. It's not Mexican food. Pure and simple. It's American fast food in cartoon-"Mexican" shape-- founded by a white American, who opened up across the street from a Mexican American in San Diego, stole/reverse-engineered their recipes, then franchised the thing. I'm not in favor of willy-nilly accusations of "cultural appropriation," but Taco Bell is, like, the dictionary definition of the thing. Has it introduced many people to a lifelong love of tacos/Mexican food, that they've then expanded to include the actual thing itself? Sure, maybe. Has it also become the thing itself, to a disturbing extent Also, I love cheap food, too... but Taco Bell is pretty objectively shit. The meat in their basic tacos is LITERALLY sub-dog-food quality (though tbf I believe the steak is just above). All bagels are (provided the bread part is done right) pretty good. You wanna mix strawberry in the batter and dip them in chocolate sprinkles outside? do it. delicious i bet. That's a donut. You've just described a donut. Only, like, not a GOOD donut. Have you ever had a donut that could be improved by being 30% denser, with significant increase in chew? That's what you've just made. A chewy donut. Mazel tov! oh, they make a good pumpkin bagel. it's totally seasonal, but when it's pumpkin bagel season, even the french toast bagels fall by the wayside. most everything else they offer as far as bagels go is available year-round. and for the record, i would not turn down a good pumpkin bagel were one offered to me this very day. my joint has 20 bagels in their regular menu. some you may argue are bullshit, or redundant. but all sell, and sell fantastically, it sure seems. plain onion egg black russian rye blueberry sesame poppy garlic french toast sour dough whole grain great grain cinnamon raisin everything salt whole wheat pumpernickel apple cinnamon whole wheat everything asiago cheese in fairness, the apple cinnamon does not appeal to me. Do I go for the whitefish or the sable on that pumpkin... or is it more of a sturgeon vehicle? Is a Black Russian, like, pumpernickel with different seeds... or is it supposed to taste like Kahlua and vodka? And if you've got a hankering for French toast in the morning, why not get, y'know, FRENCH TOAST? I feel like having this discussion in the COVID Era is going to give me a stroke... or at the very least, turn into my personal "Jill Klein Voters."

"Stein". You okay?

Johnny Lunchbucket Apr 21 2020 04:06 PM Re: Rule of Eight

Interestingly, far-too-wide varieties of shit in retail is one of the things the coronavirus has infected. Until 6 weeks ago, new items, new varieties and alt-remixes of tradtional shit (clean mac and cheese! plant-based yogurt! etc) was the only thing that grew sales but the "long tail" no longer fits on trucks when what you want are 6-week supplies of canned soup. So really this age of hyper-spinoffs is getting a much-needed kick in the balls.

LWFS Apr 21 2020 05:39 PM Re: Rule of Eight

like everything, there's a core 'expert level' thing, and then interesting variations that are also awesome. Taco Bell, to a very many people, tastes delicious. and it does, it's meat and cheese and yummy. It's not exactly pure mexican food though. It's not Mexican food. Pure and simple. It's American fast food in cartoon-"Mexican" shape-- founded by a white American, who opened up across the street from a Mexican American in San Diego, stole/reverse-engineered their recipes, then franchised the thing. I'm not in favor of willy-nilly accusations of "cultural appropriation," but Taco Bell is, like, the dictionary definition of the thing. Has it introduced many people to a lifelong love of tacos/Mexican food, that they've then expanded to include the actual thing itself? Sure, maybe. Has it also become the thing itself, to a disturbing extent Also, I love cheap food, too... but Taco Bell is pretty objectively shit. The meat in their basic tacos is LITERALLY sub-dog-food quality (though tbf I believe the steak is just above). All bagels are (provided the bread part is done right) pretty good. You wanna mix strawberry in the batter and dip them in chocolate sprinkles outside? do it. delicious i bet. That's a donut. You've just described a donut. Only, like, not a GOOD donut. Have you ever had a donut that could be improved by being 30% denser, with significant increase in chew? That's what you've just made. A chewy donut. Mazel tov! oh, they make a good pumpkin bagel. it's totally seasonal, but when it's pumpkin bagel season, even the french toast bagels fall by the wayside. most everything else they offer as far as bagels go is available year-round. and for the record, i would not turn down a good pumpkin bagel were one offered to me this very day. my joint has 20 bagels in their regular menu. some you may argue are bullshit, or redundant. but all sell, and sell fantastically, it sure seems. plain onion egg black russian rye blueberry sesame poppy garlic french toast sour dough whole grain great grain cinnamon raisin everything salt whole wheat pumpernickel apple cinnamon whole wheat everything asiago cheese in fairness, the apple cinnamon does not appeal to me. Do I go for the whitefish or the sable on that pumpkin... or is it more of a sturgeon vehicle? Is a Black Russian, like, pumpernickel with different seeds... or is it supposed to taste like Kahlua and vodka? And if you've got a hankering for French toast in the morning, why not get, y'know, FRENCH TOAST? I feel like having this discussion in the COVID Era is going to give me a stroke... or at the very least, turn into my personal "Jill Klein Voters." "Stein". You okay?

No problem. Just having that stroke.

Ceetar Apr 21 2020 06:13 PM Re: Rule of Eight

We really need to go the attachment size limit here. I think it wants photos taken in 1998 or older.

metsmarathon Apr 21 2020 09:39 PM Re: Rule of Eight

but... that's like asking someone who just ordered fish tacos why they didn't just get fish sticks, isn't it? i don't want french toast. i don't want a bagel. i want a transcendent almalgamation of the two concepts. i want the weight of a bagel, with it's texture and just the right balance between hard on the outside and soft on the inside, sliced in half with a light caramelization of the sugars and a crisp of the dough, with creamy, silky butter melting into all the right places. not some soggy fucking bread dipped in wet egg, damnit. good french toast has it's place, mind you. but i can't get that for a buck or so with my coffee, nor pick up a dozen plus two to throw in my freezer for later in the week.

Ceetar Apr 21 2020 09:43 PM Re: Rule of Eight

I wasn't kidding. [FIMG=400]http://www.ceetar.com/optimisticmetsfan/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/20200421_200833.jpg[/FIMG]

LWFS Apr 21 2020 09:54 PM Re: Rule of Eight

Lordy. Any good? Or are they waiting for the morning rush? but... that's like asking someone who just ordered fish tacos why they didn't just get fish sticks, isn't it? i don't want french toast. i don't want a bagel. i want a transcendent almalgamation of the two concepts. i want the weight of a bagel, with it's texture and just the right balance between hard on the outside and soft on the inside, sliced in half with a light caramelization of the sugars and a crisp of the dough, with creamy, silky butter melting into all the right places. not some soggy fucking bread dipped in wet egg, damnit. good french toast has it's place, mind you. but i can't get that for a buck or so with my coffee, nor pick up a dozen plus two to throw in my freezer for later in the week. This is less like ordering fish taco versus fish sticks, and more like ordering "fish taco"-flavored fish sticks instead of a fish taco. I get your point, and I'll stipulate-- the heart wants what it wants with its morning coffee. I'll also assert that there's no ducking way you can get a bagel that captures the best stuff about well-made French toast-- crisp on outside, eggy/custardy goodness on inside-- and still also be a well-made, traditional-method-produced bagel. I mean, it'd be cool-- in a way, human-achievement-wise-- if someone could make a coq au vin-flavored fish fillet sandwich, but it probably wouldn't be THAT coq au vin-y, and it probably wouldn't be much of a fish sandwich. It'd be neither... y'know.

metsmarathon Apr 21 2020 10:17 PM Re: Rule of Eight

fair point. good french toast is sublime. ain't nobody got time for that shit, though, unless you've also got time to do a sit down at a nice sunday brunch. but who dresses up for, and sits down at a sunday brunch... i used to have soccer games to run off to, damnit! consider the french toast bagel, then, a successful fusion. well, in my eyes at least. you get all of the sweet succulent fench toasty flavor notes, in a filling package that you can grab and take with you, and it will fill you up for the rest of the morning. without all the bullshit crumbs that a muffin would have. and please. it takes three donuts to fill a man like a good bagel can, and that shit is fried and who wants all that lard? no, thee bagel is the perfect carbohydratey breakfast delivery vehicle. and its purpose has been elevated by fusing it with all the flavor that a french toast may have to offer, without all of the distractions and inconveniences. step into the light. break free of the restrictions of your forebears. open your mind to the possibilities. embrace the sweet deliciousness that awaits you. oh. side note. all the sweet bagels at panera, and any national chains are bullshit. i'm not a monster.

Vic Sage Apr 22 2020 08:32 AM Re: Rule of Eight

Limiting varieties is fascist! There, i said it. Viva La difference! You want intensity? try a salt bagel with lox spread, baby! that's put your blood pressure through the roof, but its worth it. you want sweet and creamy? Cinnemon-Raisin with apple-walnut CC you want everything? Everything with butter & CC. you want ethnic? Pumpernickel with CC, nova, onions and capers. I've eaten all of those and more. i believe in the rule of "whateverthefuckyouwant"!

MFS62 Apr 22 2020 08:40 AM Re: Rule of Eight

Butter AND CC? Never heard of that before. Later

metsmarathon Apr 22 2020 08:45 AM Re: Rule of Eight

my mom does butter and cream cheese. i don't quite understand it either.

Vic Sage Apr 22 2020 10:16 AM Re: Rule of Eight

it makes the bagel barista do a double take, but its worth it. particularly on a sweet bagel (Cin&Raisin)

Ceetar Apr 22 2020 10:42 AM Re: Rule of Eight

Butter AND CC? Never heard of that before. Later It's a classic "oh crap I only have a teaspoon of cream cheese left" spread. I've decided, now that I've got the bagel process down, I'm going to make Trolls World Tour green cream oreo bagels with poprocks for you all.

Edgy MD Apr 22 2020 12:27 PM Re: Rule of Eight

Vic Sage wrote: Limiting varieties is fascist! There, i said it. Viva La difference! Talk about a misbegotten clusterfuck of mixed cuisine. It's VIVE la différence, you Philsitine!

MFS62 Apr 22 2020 06:12 PM Re: Rule of Eight

I don't know how they knew about this thread, but "Riverdale Bagels" showed up in my "Do you know this person?" feed on Facebook just now. They're WATCHING! Later

LWFS Apr 22 2020 06:43 PM Re: Rule of Eight

Vic Sage wrote: Limiting varieties is fascist! There, i said it. Viva La difference! 1) There are steps between "You must have only this pure form of the thing" and "You can have it any flavor, any color, any state of matter, and in any hole you'd like," ya Manichean 2) I'm all for freedom-of-order... just not, y'know, with accompanying freedom-from-ridicule. As free speech has consequences, so does ordering the dessert spaghetti with maple marinara. You reserve your right to nutty-cum-fruity cream cheese on a bagel made with waffle batter, I reserve my right to passive-aggressively nod, then snicker like a tenth-grade mean girl.

Ceetar Apr 22 2020 08:31 PM Re: Rule of Eight

I don't know how they knew about this thread, but "Riverdale Bagels" showed up in my "Do you know this person?" feed on Facebook just now. They're WATCHING! Later yes, I believe we're discussing Bing Bot in another thread.

Vic Sage Apr 24 2020 11:08 AM Re: Rule of Eight

Vic Sage wrote: Limiting varieties is fascist! There, i said it. Viva La difference! 1) There are steps between "You must have only this pure form of the thing" and "You can have it any flavor, any color, any state of matter, and in any hole you'd like," ya Manichean 2) I'm all for freedom-of-order... just not, y'know, with accompanying freedom-from-ridicule. As free speech has consequences, so does ordering the dessert spaghetti with maple marinara. You reserve your right to nutty-cum-fruity cream cheese on a bagel made with waffle batter, I reserve my right to passive-aggressively nod, then snicker like a tenth-grade mean girl. well, that goes without saying. But i will not be silenced!! VIVA PAPER TOWELS!... please send some; we still can't get paper goods in New Ro

metsmarathon Apr 24 2020 12:47 PM Re: Rule of Eight

where do i find this dessert spaghetti with maple marinara of which you speak?

whippoorwill Apr 29 2023 08:06 PM Re: Rule of Eight

Back to this, How many hot dogs do you guys cook at a time? I'm asking for a friend.

kcmets Apr 29 2023 09:21 PM Re: Rule of Eight

As many as needed. Don't tell you're friend, keep her in the dark.

Johnny Lunchbucket Apr 30 2023 07:20 AM Re: Rule of Eight

This was a klassik thread. Hot dogs? 2 per person

whippoorwill Apr 30 2023 08:17 AM Re: Rule of Eight

Actually it was my mom asking me why I would cook 8 hot dogs at a time. I figure it's the right thing to do since there are 8 buns. Then we eat them over the course of three or four days. She actually brought this up three times in 12 hours. Yes it seemed pretty surreal to me too.

Edgy MD Apr 30 2023 06:35 PM Re: Rule of Eight

The bronze medal comment! step into the light. break free of the restrictions of your forebears. open your mind to the possibilities. embrace the sweet deliciousness that awaits you. oh. side note. all the sweet bagels at panera, and any national chains are bullshit. i'm not a monster. And please give a hand to the silver medal recipient! cheese on top, cheese in the middle, what's the difference? Cereal, lasagna, a pile of morcilla, and seven vodka stingers together in my belly or pureed together in a big fucking bowl and ingested intravenously-- what's the difference? Ladies and gentlemen, your gold medal CHAMPION! Benjamin Grimm wrote: Bullshit Pop-Tart connoisseurs are the bane of my existence.

Fman99 Apr 30 2023 06:38 PM Re: Rule of Eight

I always crave a bagel after a road (running race). I attended a race in March and the only type of bagels they were offering at the post race spread was blueberry. That's an abomination and an affront to man.

Frayed Knot Apr 30 2023 07:31 PM Re: Rule of Eight

Not sure which was more odd, the existence of this thread in the first place or that it suddenly got unearthed three years later.