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Know Thy (Evil) Enemy - Subway Series Edition

Frayed Knot May 19 2006 12:35 AM

Where: Shea Stadium Who: NYMets (24-16) vs MFY (23-16) When: * Friday May 19th: 7:00 (Ch 11 & Ch 9) Randy Johnson (5.13 ERA, 1.31 WHiP, .427 SlgA) vs Jeremi Gonzalez Randy's old, cranky and, most importantly, not pitching very well these days. Oh, and Leona Helmsley called and she wants her personality back. * Saturday May 20th: 1:20 (FOX Network) Mike Mussina (2.56, 1.01, .329) vs Pedro Martinez Mussina's having a very good season to date but still waiting for that elusive charm school scholarship to come through * Sunday May 21st: 8:00 ESPN Shawn Chacon (5.21, 1.68, .417) vs Tom Glavine Chacon is starting to turn back into a pumpkin following last year's 'out-of-nowhere' stretch and is also hurt. Likely to be replaced by Aaron Small (another pumpkin waiting to happen) Thy Enemy: All starters will be accompanied by their 'Annoyance Factor' -- and to be timely we'll borrow from the Government's: RED =orange]ORANGE =yellow]YELLOW =darkblue]BLUE =green]GREEN terror warning system: CF - Johnny Damon: - .282/.360/.423 (BA/OBA/Slg) has been slumping lately, also hobbling and occasionally DH-ing =orange]AF = ORANGE -- Rule 1: If you go making 'I'll never play for the Yankees' pronouncements, then you best expect to get abused for it right after you sign with them and immediately commence declarations about how this is where you've always wanted to be. SS - Derek Jeter: .353/.446/.547 AF = RED (but you already knew that din't you?) - - The 'Which way's the camera?' fist pumps were bad enough and the whole media/groupie worshipping has always been annoying even if only occasionally his fault. But now we're forced to see him on commercials every 12 minutes or so as he hawks more products than anyone this side of John Madden. 3B - Alex Rodriguez: - .280/.388/.510 not nearly as good as his 2005 AL-MVP year (and constantly reminded of it) =orange]AF = ORANGE - - Mostly annoying for the fact that he tries so hard not to be annoying. He's one of the most hated people in baseball - mainly for being rich, talented and good-looking - plus even moreso in the cities where he currently is or recently had played. That said he definitely gets more than his share of abuse. 1B/DH - Jason Giambi: .271/.480/.654 (cooled off in May after a ridiculously hot 'AL-PotM' April AF = RED- - How exactly is he getting a media pass for this whole BALCO mess - Cuz he "did the right thing and fessed up"? ... Pul-eeeeze! And don't forget to cover up that now-taboo tatoo Jason. Biker rebel my ass! 2B Robinson Cano: .312/.345/.406 Nice line-drive hitter prone to baserunning & fielding mistakes =darkblue]AF = BLUE - - Nothing really annoying about him except that he plays like a dork sometimes, plus there's a rule where no MFY can score lower than Blue RF? - Bernie Williams: .239/.279/.327 Now forced back into OF play due to others' injuries. =darkblue]AF = BLUE - - His four gold gloves are at least three more than he deserved but those were a while ago anyway and now he's gotta cover a bigger RF than in the Bronx. Let's run on his ass! C - Jorge Posada:- .310/.420/.513 having a good season now so his options years will kick in and keep him in the Bronx thru 2008 =yellow]AF = YELLOW -- Nothing specific but something about him always annoyed me. Probably the radar-dish ears. The Subs: Melky Cabrera: Switch-hitting 21 y/o was called up last year and bombed in a brief trial. A starter for right now, mostly playing LF (poorly) and getting a few hits (mostly singles) Bubba Crosby: LH Ofer w/good speed and glove although can't hit much and left Thursday's game limping. Kevin Reese: Also a brief call-up last year - strictly the last guy off the bench Andy Phillips: Getting some 1B time as Giambi DHs while they're short on Ofers. Just what you want, a weak-hitting corner IFer Miguel Cairo: Need I say more? The Pen: Matt Smith/ Scott Erickson (yes, him!): The garbage time guys. If/when we see them it'll already be good news. Ron Villone: Middle inning lefty Aaron Small: Long man/Chacon substitute Scott Proctor: Having a decent year, has emerged as the 7th inning guy Mike Meyers: LOOGY Kyle Farnsworth: Replaced Tom Gordan as set-up guy ... only not as good. Mariano Rivera: (2.81, 1.31, .302) You've met him before. Actually getting hit a bit so far but rarely for any power. Injuries: H. Matsui - broken wrist, out until at least August Gary Sheffield - inflamed asshole, expected back next week even though condition unlikely to improve (bruised wrist actually) Tanyon Sturtze - Rotator Cuff Carl Pavano - Everything. Was supposedly close to ready then walked off his rehab start

Gwreck May 19 2006 01:35 AM

Excellent KTE Frayed Knot. For the first time since 1997, the Mets have NO ex-MFY players on their roster. Somehow, this doesn't really upset me. The Ex-Mets are Erickson and Cairo, plus backup catcher Kelly Stinnett.

cooby May 19 2006 06:21 AM

I love the terror alert angle! Gary Sheffield - inflamed asshole - By this, do you mean he has one, or he is one?

MFS62 May 19 2006 07:00 AM

="cooby"] Gary Sheffield - inflamed asshole - By this, do you mean he has one, or he is one? C = All of the above. Great job, Knot. I liked the alert spin, too. Later

Rockin' Doc May 19 2006 07:18 AM

Both teams are pretty nicked up right now. Thankfully, we have Pedro and Glavine going in this series which is good. No Lima sightings scheduled which is great.

Edgy DC May 19 2006 07:42 AM

]For the first time since 1997, the Mets have NO ex-MFY players on their roster. Somehow, this doesn't really upset me. Juan Padilla on the DL is the holdout.

Elster88 May 19 2006 09:19 AM

Confirmed: Shawn Chacon will not start Sunday due to injury. Aaron Small will replace him.

silverdsl May 19 2006 09:21 AM

="cooby"] Gary Sheffield - inflamed asshole - By this, do you mean he has one, or he is one? Definitely is one. Small is definitely in for Chacon, who has a bruised shin. Damon has a chipped bone in one of his toes, which is apparently getting worse, so that could effect him even more than it has this weekend and beyond. Crosby is likely headed to the DL with a strained hamstring. Bernie in the outfield = scary. I'm looking forward to the Saturday matchup between Pedro and Mussina. (Believe it or not, Mussina was actually pretty charming at the fan club dinner he did back in Jan., where he answered fan questions for an hour, posed for photos with every single one of the 150 people there, and signed two autographs for everyone as well. He even smiled a couple of times.)

Edgy DC May 19 2006 09:27 AM

Why would Willams be in right and not left? It's his arm you want to hide. Even at home in the not-so-cavernous-anymore Yankee Stadium left field, I'd fear his arm in right undoing his team more than his mobility in left. Of course, Joe Torre debuted Mookie Wilson in right, back when his arm was merely fair and not yet poor.

Frayed Knot May 19 2006 09:34 AM

Well he was started in RF right from Spring Training because it was figured Sheffield would need more days off/DH days than Matsui. Now that both are hurt he's played everywhere, including in CF yesterday for Damon (who was DH-ing). Of course the throw from RF is much shorter in da Bronx negating the arm problem somewhat. Young Melky's been no prize in his short stints so far no matter where they put him; he's screwed up in LF, CF and RF, so who knows.

Johnny Dickshot May 19 2006 09:37 AM

Great preview but I hate these games. If you're going to Shea tonight be safe -- lotta knuckleheads seem to wanna be in attendance. Oh, I know why.

Edgy DC May 19 2006 10:29 AM

My sister and her racist Yankee boyfriend offered me expensive seats --- $75 or so. I'd spend $75 to stay out of such situations.

MFS62 May 19 2006 10:42 AM

Edgy DC wrote: Why would Willams be in right and not left? It's his arm you want to hide. Even at home in the not-so-cavernous-anymore Yankee Stadium left field, I'd fear his arm in right undoing his team more than his mobility in left. Of course, Joe Torre debuted Mookie Wilson in right, back when his arm was merely fair and not yet poor. I Agree Some thoughts: Melky has played centerfield (and right), so his arm must be at least decent. Baseball tradition says put the better arm in right. And Williams' arm would be exposed when the Yanks play in other parks with deeper right fields. Melky throws lefty. I don't know if that has anything to do with Torre putting him in left. Maybe the Yanks feel Melky is so inexperienced that he has to play near the Yankee bullpen so they can tell him where to throw the ball. I still dislike Frank Howard for what he did (as a Mets coach) to Mookie's arm. Later

smg58 May 19 2006 10:42 AM

Elster88 wrote: Confirmed: Shawn Chacon will not start Sunday due to injury. Aaron Small will replace him. He got hurt in the Red Sox game and couldn't get through the fifth inning. Torre said he'd be OK for his next start, so I figured he was OK to start in my fantasy line-up. Two innings and eight runs later... I was kind of hoping Torre would start him again this weekend. I'd know better than to play him, and the Mets would have open season. Still, you have to like the Glavine vs. Small matchup. Let's cross our fingers and hope Jeremi gives us enough tonight.

metirish May 19 2006 10:45 AM

Frayed Knot that was brilliant, loved your color coded take on the players.

MFS62 May 19 2006 02:13 PM

Can Jeremi Gonzales become this generation's Dave Mlicki - if just for one night? Later

Willets Point May 19 2006 02:14 PM

Dave Mlicki was just for one night himself.