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Lastings Milledge Aside

Edgy DC Jun 12 2006 11:14 AM

It strikes me that the guy we should be losing our heads over today is Carlos Beltran. Holy crap, you know?

Edgy DC Jun 12 2006 11:16 AM

Joe Garagiola announced his stat line from the series and said, "Come on, those are Little League numbers." When Marrero pinch-hit for Beltran, the announcers presented it as good news that he was out of the game, as if a winning team mercifully putting in their reserves is ever a good feelng.

metirish Jun 12 2006 11:18 AM

Yeah he's have a monster year, so is it more due to the fact that he got his first year in NY behind him or because Delgado is on the team, or a combo, or just the fact that this is a better team than last years squad.

MFS62 Jun 12 2006 11:19 AM

D All of the above. Later

Edgy DC Jun 12 2006 11:21 AM

Whatever the reason, I'm rolling with it. I'm thinking of becoming the latest guy in in Cyberspace to post a knockoff Chuck Norris-type list of superlatives.

Centerfield Jun 12 2006 11:26 AM

They opened the roof in Arizona because they were sick of Beltran denting it. Beltran put Bank One out of business. If I were you, I wouldn't buy any Chase stock either. It wasn't Wilie's decision to remove Beltran from yesterday's game. To leave him in would have been a violation of the Geneva Convention. When facing Beltran, Webb refers to his sinker as his "riser".

Benjamin Grimm Jun 12 2006 11:31 AM

The conventional wisdom this spring was that the pressure was off Beltran this year. I never bought that. As I'm sure I said in some other thread, the pressure was ON, big time. Another bad year from Beltran and his signing becomes a bust, and he's an albatross for another five years after this one. NOW the pressure is off, at least for the time being. He's been getting it done this year, and I hope his May Schaefer win is the first of many.

sharpie Jun 12 2006 11:34 AM

Carlos has been enjoying his May Schaefer so much that he wants another one NOW.

Frayed Knot Jun 12 2006 11:36 AM

Sometimes a good year (or good stretch) is just a good year and a bad year is nothing more than a bad year. As fans and observers we have a tendancy to assign absolute cause-and-effect reasons for it but that doesn't neccessarily make it so.

Elster88 Jun 12 2006 12:06 PM

Good stuff CF

Elster88 Jun 12 2006 12:07 PM

metirish wrote: Yeah he's have a monster year, so is it more due to the fact that he got his first year in NY behind him or because Delgado is on the team, or a combo, or just the fact that this is a better team than last years squad. Maybe E. (None of the above.) Combined with F: Because baseball is a game of streaks and slumps.

Centerfield Jun 12 2006 12:09 PM

Frayed Knot wrote: Sometimes a good year (or good stretch) is just a good year and a bad year is nothing more than a bad year. As fans and observers we have a tendancy to assign absolute cause-and-effect reasons for it but that doesn't neccessarily make it so. Yup. If we're doing cause and effect, we have to explain why Delgado's presence relaxes Beltran but is clearly irking Cliff Floyd.

Edgy DC Jun 12 2006 12:11 PM

Hammer has issued a public statement delaring that Carlos Beltran can, in fact, touch this.

Benjamin Grimm Jun 12 2006 12:15 PM

If Beltran is seen touching it he may have to call a Piazza-style press conference.

Johnny Dickshot Jun 12 2006 12:33 PM

I don't wanna say anything about Beltran for fear of messing him up. But now that you mention it: Carlos Beltran beat Czechloslovakia 3-nil this afternoon.

smg58 Jun 12 2006 01:08 PM

Beltran has always been a streak hitter, with the streaks being of the phenomenal variety. He had one at exactly the right time down the strectch and through the playoffs in 04. Last year he simply didn't have one. I don't know if it's a good idea to read more into it than that. But if the current streak lasts long enough for Delgado and Floyd to get their averages back up, I really don't see the Mets losing this year.

Johnny Dickshot Jun 12 2006 01:25 PM

Carlos Beltran built this city on rock and roll. Carlos Beltran woke me up before he went-went.

Centerfield Jun 12 2006 01:40 PM

When Yoda has questions about the Force, he asks Carlos Beltran. If Carlos Beltran lived on Tatooine, Anakin Skywalker would have been "that other guy". When they play space chess, Chewbacca lets Carlos Beltran win. Not that he needs to, because Beltran would win anyway. If Princess Leia had asked Carlos Beltran for help instead of Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars would have been a movie-short instead of a trilogy. Carlos Beltran is so good, not even George Lucas can ruin him. When light speed just isn't fast enough, Han Solo asks Carlos Beltran to get out and push. Carlos Beltran could have gotten 10 thousand for Luke's speeder. If Storm Troopers had been cloned from Carlos Beltran, they would have destroyed the Emperor and Darth Vader and taken over the universe. Carlos Beltran knows Princess Leia loves him. If Carlos Beltran had been in the Prequel Trilogy, they wouldn't have sucked. Actually, take that back....even Carlos Beltran can only do so much.

soupcan Jun 12 2006 01:43 PM

When someone calls CF a nerd, Carlos agrees.

Centerfield Jun 12 2006 01:44 PM

Boo soupcan boo.

Benjamin Grimm Jun 12 2006 01:45 PM

I don't understand anything anymore.

Elster88 Jun 12 2006 01:51 PM

Centerfield wrote: When they play space chess, Chewbacca lets Carlos Beltran win. Not that he needs to, because Beltran would win anyway. I think you mean R2-D2.

seawolf17 Jun 12 2006 01:54 PM

Elster88 wrote: ="Centerfield"]When they play space chess, Chewbacca lets Carlos Beltran win. Not that he needs to, because Beltran would win anyway. I think you mean R2-D2. No, because I think the whole point is that Beltran defies the "Let the wookie win" truism.

Elster88 Jun 12 2006 01:57 PM

seawolf17 wrote: ="Elster88"] ="Centerfield"]When they play space chess, Chewbacca lets Carlos Beltran win. Not that he needs to, because Beltran would win anyway. I think you mean R2-D2. No, because I think the whole point is that Beltran defies the "Let the wookie win" truism. I have no idea what that means. But here's a better explanation of what I was saying: R2-D2 lets Chewbacca win because he's afraid of getting his arms torn off. R2-D2 doesn't need to let Beltran win because Beltran would win anyway. Beating a robot in chess is hard, but Beltran can do it, so my idea was that CF meant to say "R2-D2 lets Carlos Beltran win." Elementary.

soupcan Jun 12 2006 02:00 PM

Correction: When people call the entire CPF a buncha nerds, Carlos Beltran agrees.

Elster88 Jun 12 2006 02:01 PM

Star Wars is cool. If you don't like Star Wars, you're a nerd. NERD!

Centerfield Jun 12 2006 02:05 PM

Elster88 wrote: ="seawolf17"] Elster88 wrote: ="Centerfield"]When they play space chess, Chewbacca lets Carlos Beltran win. Not that he needs to, because Beltran would win anyway. I think you mean R2-D2. No, because I think the whole point is that Beltran defies the "Let the wookie win" truism. I have no idea what that means. But here's a better explanation of what I was saying: R2-D2 lets Chewbacca win because he's afraid of getting his arms torn off. R2-D2 doesn't need to let Beltran win because Beltran would win anyway. Beating a robot in chess is hard, but Beltran can do it, so my idea was that CF meant to say "R2-D2 lets Carlos Beltran win." Elementary. What I meant: You let wookies win because wookies are tough and will tear your arms off if you beat them. Carlos Beltran is so tough a wookie will let him win for fear an angry Beltran will tear his arms off. The last sentence notes that the wookie's fears are a moot point because said wookie couldn't beat Beltran at space chess even if he tried. I'm thinking soupcan might be right.

Edgy DC Jun 12 2006 02:07 PM

I think Centerfield is right. Chewy fears Carlos like the 'Droids fear Chewey. Sheesh.

Elster88 Jun 12 2006 02:09 PM

Fine. Then I'll add my own to CF's list. When they play space chess, R2-D2 lets Carlos Beltran win. Not because he has to, but because Beltran would win anyway. Mine makes more sense. (tongue-sticking-out smiley face)

Edgy DC Jun 12 2006 02:10 PM

Carlos Beltran remembers what eight was for.

Elster88 Jun 12 2006 02:10 PM Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Jun 12 2006 02:15 PM

You should've just said, "When they play space chess, Chewbacca lets Carlos Beltran win because he doesn't want his arms torn off." Makes way more sense, no?

Edgy DC Jun 12 2006 02:12 PM

It's freakin' implied, man.

Centerfield Jun 12 2006 02:14 PM

Wow, you're such a nerd. You take Star Wars like, way too seriously.

Elster88 Jun 12 2006 02:15 PM

The hair-pulling and eye-poking can't be far behind. At least the one with R2-D2 makes sense, too, right? The world can always use another Star Wars/Carlos Beltran joke.

Johnny Dickshot Jun 12 2006 02:17 PM

Carlos Beltran didn't even see the last three Star Wars movies. His own prequels were better-written.

Centerfield Jun 12 2006 02:19 PM

Yes, the R2-D2 one makes sense too. In essence, you're saying Carlos Beltran is tough like a wookie, but smarter than one. All kidding aside, I remember as kids we used to get into some heated arguments about Star Wars. Before Jedi, the Great Lando Debates (good guy or bad?) nearly divided the kids on the block.

metirish Jun 12 2006 02:20 PM

I have NEVER watched any of the Star Wars movies, and for that I am happy.

Edgy DC Jun 12 2006 02:25 PM

Carlos Beltran successfully navigates asteroid fields all the time. In fact, the odds of him not successfully navigating one are approximately three thousand, seven hundred and twenty to one.

Elster88 Jun 12 2006 02:27 PM

metirish wrote: I have NEVER watched any of the Star Wars movies, and for that I am happy. Honestly, I don't think the movies will ever work for another generation, either. At least not the way it worked when it first came out.

The Big O Jun 12 2006 02:29 PM

="Edgy DC"]Carlos Beltran successfully navigates asteroid fields all the time. In fact, the odds of him not successfully navigating one are approximately three thousand, seven hundred and twenty to one. Carlos Beltran used to bullseye womprats in his T-16 back home.

metirish Jun 12 2006 02:30 PM

I mean I tried watching when I was a kid in the 80's but just never liked them...

Johnny Dickshot Jun 12 2006 02:30 PM

I've only seen the first one.

Frayed Knot Jun 12 2006 02:32 PM

Which is one more than I've seen. As a result I'm often lost in these conversations.

metirish Jun 12 2006 02:34 PM

Cool, I thought I was weird for not having seem them...

Elster88 Jun 12 2006 02:38 PM

You are. Kidding.

Centerfield Jun 12 2006 02:43 PM

If Doc Brown knew Carlos Beltran, he wouldn't have needed to hook up the Delorian to the clock tower. Even his checkswings generate 1.21 jigowatts. If Carlos Beltran had been cast as Rick Blaine, Ingrid Bergman would still be in Paris. If Carlos Beltran had played Stallone's character in Cliffhanger, Sarah would be alive and well. Carlos Beltran knew Donnie Brasco was a rat. Just when Carlos Beltran thinks he's out, they can't pull him back in. Carlos Beltran wouldn't have run from the giant ball like Indiana Jones. He would have picked it up and thrown out the runner trying to go first to third.

Edgy DC Jun 12 2006 03:01 PM Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Jun 13 2006 06:33 AM

Carlos Beltran bathed himself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka, in order to purify the waters. Carlos Beltran once encountered a cyborg from the future that looked remarkably like Arnold Schwarzenegger. It fumbled nervously with a few questions about looking for somebody, before saying, "Ah'm sorry, ah'll be going."

soupcan Jun 12 2006 08:24 PM

Carlos Beltran didn't need a bigger boat.