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KTE: The Hateful, Second-Place Phillies

G-Fafif Jun 13 2006 03:29 PM

I just discovered it's my turn to Know Thy Enemy. I've really got to read some of these threads more closely. Not having had time to do much/any research, I can tell you this: I hate the Phillies. I know I hate the Phillies. I have not one, but two books sitting in my office about the collapse of the 1964 Phillies. I think I'll start reading one of them tonight just so there will be something to gloat over in case things do not go well in Philadelphia this week. They should go well. We are a better team than the Phillies, but when has that mattered? If precedent holds, these things are likely to happen, despite how marvy we are compared to the rest of the world: • Bobby Abreu will come to bat with the bases loaded and scare us spitless. • Jimmy Rollins will split a gap or two. • Chase Utley will get a backbreaking hit. • Brett Myers will strike out somebody who shouldn't strike out with runners on. • There will be at least game decided by one run and even if we win it, it will feel like a loss most of the way. • A ball will hit the outjutting stands down one of the lines and bounce the wrong way, whether it's for or against us, probably against us. It happened a hundred times at the Vet and it's happened a dozen times at the Cit. • Mets fans will be louder than Phillies fans at the start. Phillies fans will be loud enough at the end. • Aaron Heilman will throw a live ball away or Cliff Floyd will toss a live ball into the stands or Lastings Milledge will tag up too soon or Jose Reyes won't get the handle or David Wright won't be guarding the line when he should or be guarding the line when he shouldn't be and Carlos Beltran will be playing too deep. These things happen to us in Philadelphia. So close, but yet so far. Our starters are Glavine, who doesn't have a great record against them; Hernandez, still an X factor; and Trachsel, who will complain that the sun is at an odd angle Thursday afternoon and it will completely mess him up. We face Ryan Madson (sounds like a Phillie, doesn't he?), Brett Myers (he may not always beat us but he seems to) and Cory Lidle (I got his attention at Tiger Stadium once for a picture but I don't care for him anymore). Billy Wagner will finally see action and if the boobirds get to him, he won't admit it but we'll all figure it out. Tom Gordon will seem hittable but that never helped us against Jose Mesa. The statistical possibilities in this series: • We take three of three, increase our lead to 9-1/2. That will all but end the race. • We take two of three, increase our lead to 7-1/2. That will feel real good. • We take one of three, decrease our lead to 5-1/2. It gives the Phillies some hope, but doesn't affect us all that terribly. • We take none of three, decrease our lead to 3-1/2. This will change the tone of today's back pages dramatically so that by Friday the Mets will be chumps in the papers and Mike Francesa will remind us that "you don't win back the city because of one weekend in Arizona, folks." Then he'll choke on a doughnut and we'll all cheer wildly. By now, you've all probably been reminded that the Mets and Phillies have never played for anything of mutual substance. That's always fascinated me. It's a non-existent rivalry in the Dodger-Giant, Cardinal-Cub sense. I only fiercely hate the Phillies when we play them, I have to admit. I've been to four games in Philadelphia ('86, '96, '99, '04), all Mets games, all Mets losses. There was no reason for any Phillie fan to give me a hard time over my choice of gear but I don't get the sense they would. In the Vet's version of the upper deck in 1986, one of them kept going on out loud for everybody's benefit about how much better the Flyers were than the Rangers. When you're groping for other sports, you know you're having a bad year. Five reasons to hate the Phillies if you don't want to use the standings as a guide. • Racist bastards. OK, it was 1947, but let's not let them off the hook. Eff you Ben Chapman, wherever you're rotting. • Jim Bunning. Thanks for ruining a perfectly good new stadium. And you're not much of a senator from what I hear. • 26-7. How many times will Ron Darling reference that 1985 blowout over the next three days? • Unclinched. Mike Schmidt said, "they're not gonna celebrate on our field" in September 1986 and we didn't. Congratulations, you finished only 21-1/2 out. • Dallas Green. Did he ever stop being one of them even when he was one of us? Pat Burrell's too easy a reason, but him, too. Let's Go Mets.

TheOldMole Jun 13 2006 03:34 PM

My daughter came up from Washington, I came down from NY, and we caught a game in Philly. Doc Gooden struck out 16, and lost the game 1-0 on a balk.

Edgy DC Jun 13 2006 03:37 PM

Greg makes me want to burn my keyboard and smash my fingers some days. The best thing about the 26-7 game, better even than having been the first offense the Mets had provided in about two weeks, is that the biggest donors to the Phillie cause that day --- Calvin Schiraldi and Joe Sambito, giving up 10 runs apiece --- each ended up pitching in Game Six.

Willets Point Jun 13 2006 03:38 PM

I'm surprised a Burrell home run (or two or three or six) isn't mentioned among the things likely to happen. Good work G. I hate the Phillies more now.

G-Fafif Jun 13 2006 03:39 PM

If I'm not mistaken, the Red Sox either signed or were going to sign Tom Gorman to a minor league deal in '86. Would have been nice to have had him in reserve should have Game Six gone to an eleventh inning. (Keep those fingers healthy. We need them.)

Elster88 Jun 13 2006 03:52 PM

Let's put them away this weekend. A 9 and a half game lead sounds good.

Johnny Dickshot Jun 13 2006 04:18 PM

I've seen lotsa Phillies-Mets dustups over the years and my record's better than yours. But in the spirit of knowing the enemy, and hating them, here's one that sticks with me. The pbp in the 9th will hurt. [url]http://retrosheet.org/boxesetc/B08130PHI1993.htm[/url] Anthony Young btw would lose his 15th game later in this series, also being victimimized by a multirun inning (the 8th this time)

Yancy Street Gang Jun 13 2006 04:23 PM

The possibility of a 9½ game lead is very enticing. Cory Lidle's ancestor invented the steamboat. Mets-Phillies is a big rivalry, but the only problem is that the fans of one of the two teams are completely unaware that the rivalry exists. I enjoy that the Phillies fans hate the Mets and the Mets fans rarely give the Phillies a thought. Prominent players that the Mets and Phillies have shared (off the top of my head): Tug McGraw, Richie Ashburn, Lenny Dykstra, Richie Hebner, Willie Montanez.

Edgy DC Jun 13 2006 04:29 PM

]Tug McGraw, Richie Ashburn, Lenny Dykstra, Richie Hebner, Willie Montanez Roger McDowell, Nino Espinosa, Jerry Koosman, Cory Freakin' Lidle. Wally Backman, Todd Pratt, Dennis Cook, and Turk Wendell.... I think we should put them all into a legacy free agent pool. Each game from this day forward, the winning team gets to draft 100% of a legacy.

Edgy DC Jun 13 2006 04:32 PM

Holy crap. Can't forget Frank Thomas, who went from the Mets to Phils just for the purpose of whacking a Phillie with a bat.

Frayed Knot Jun 13 2006 04:32 PM

]In the Vet's version of the upper deck in 1986, one of them kept going on out loud for everybody's benefit about how much better the Flyers were than the Rangers. When you're groping for other sports, you know you're having a bad year. Some buds & I did a weekend thing in Philly one year (late '90s I guess) while the Mets were in town for an early Sept series. Had some good natured fun w/the Philly phaithful (not upper deck) as the two teams split the Sat/Sun games. But as the Mets started pulling away w/the Sunday contest and the locals were running out of things to say, they pulled out what they thought would be the killer material by yelling; 'the Eagles are gonna kick the Giants butts tonight', referring to the seasons-opening sunday night tilt in the Meadowlands set to go about 4 hours hence. What they hadn't counted on was that my crew consisted of 2 big-time Jets fans - who wouldn't piss on the Gints if on fire - plus 1 Steeler fan who promptly joined them in retorting; 'GOOD! ... Hope they do!'. The poor locals were so confused at that point that they simply turned mum for the rest of the game.

Yancy Street Gang Jun 13 2006 04:38 PM

You know, the Philadelphia Phillies shouldn't even exist. By all rights, the Athletics should have won custody of Philadelphia, and the Phillies should have moved to Kansas City (or wherever) and changed their name. It was just a quirk of historical timing that the brief period in which the Phils were more popular than the A's came at the time when franchises began to move. The Whiz Kids probably saved the franchise and doomed Connie Mack's former team.

soupcan Jun 13 2006 04:38 PM

John Stearns, Bud Harrelson, Larry Bowa. Granted, these guys barely played for the other team but still prominent names.

Edgy DC Jun 13 2006 04:45 PM

Those last two are easy --- they're practically dopplegangers of one another. I'd be delighted to relinquish all claim on the legacy of Larry Bowa in exchange for Bud Harrelson being wiped from the Phillie books.

TheOldMole Jun 13 2006 05:20 PM

Edgy - I agree with you about Greg.

Nymr83 Jun 13 2006 07:09 PM

="Willets Point"]Good work G. I hate the Phillies more now. you hate them more now but do you Know them more?

Elster88 Jun 13 2006 07:35 PM

That was a fun read, G-FAFIF.

MFS62 Jun 13 2006 07:36 PM

There' something about having to describe the Phillies that makes these KTEs very personal and very different. Great job. Later

Edgy DC Jun 14 2006 09:11 AM

We win. I pick McGraw.

Elster88 Jun 14 2006 12:46 PM

BTW, I have a feeling that the Phillies are going to blast the hell out of El Duque today and that he won't reach the sixth inning.

soupcan Jun 14 2006 12:48 PM

Elster88 Jun 14 2006 12:56 PM

Not a pessimist. Just a realist. El Duque's Met ERA was lowered to 4.05 by his 9 inning, 1 run performance. His season ERA was lowered to 5.48.

MFS62 Jun 14 2006 01:02 PM

They have a very agressive hitting lineup. That should be the kind of team against which el Duque would do well. (I hope that won't go into the category of famous last words) Later

Elster88 Jun 15 2006 09:00 AM

Elster88 wrote: [Hernandez] won't reach the sixth inning. I cheated.

MFS62 Jun 15 2006 09:19 AM

Elster88 wrote: Elster88 wrote: [Hernandez] won't reach the sixth inning. I cheated. How? Did you seed the clouds? Later

sharpie Jun 15 2006 09:23 AM

Elster, how will Trachsel do today?

Elster88 Jun 15 2006 09:24 AM

7 IP, 2-3 ER.

sharpie Jun 15 2006 05:33 PM

Elster must be eating crow after Trachsel's 6 inning, 4 earned run outing.

G-Fafif Jun 15 2006 07:15 PM

Addendum to my original scouting report: Know that the Phillies are phinished. Divisionwise, anyway.

Elster88 Jun 15 2006 10:25 PM

sharpie wrote: Elster must be eating crow after Trachsel's 6 inning, 4 earned run outing. It needed salt.

Edgy DC Jun 19 2006 08:40 AM

Incites: Time to gut the Phils and start from scratch By Don McKee Inquirer Columnist Charlie Manuel moved onto Death Row last week, dragged there by the same executioners who beheaded Joe Kerrigan, Larry Bowa, John Vukovich and Ed Wade. His players. The fans are in full cry, seeking a victim for their own foolishly high expectations and a fall guy for the Phillies' embarrassing showing last week against the arrogant New York Mets, who left town laughing at our heroes. The Phillies began the series Tuesday with the league's highest earned run average by starting pitchers (5.27) and the league's worst batting average with runners in scoring position (.237). Repeat that to yourself: last in pitching and last in clutch hitting. The critical errors and baserunning blunders were just a la carte. And for those watching from the sidelines, without the blinders of a worshipful fan, the Phillies provided more low humor than The Benny Hill Show. Tuesday night's debacle included three errors and a series of comical blunders, with stumbling players literally tripping over each other. On Wednesday night, there were three more errors, Ryan Howard was caught off second base, and Bobby "See My Gold Glove" Abreu missed a fly ball in right for the second straight game. Oh, here's a bonus: The Phillies had no hits while the Mets took a 6-0 lead. On Thursday, in front of the second-largest crowd in the history of Citizens Bank Park, the Mets led, 4-2, when Jose Reyes led off the fifth with what should have been a single to right. But the aggressive Reyes ran it into a double, and the opportunistic New Yorkers used two fly balls to score what proved to be the winning run. The fans seem to blame all this on Manuel, overlooking the fact that players paid millions and millions of dollars to perform at a high level should produce something more sophisticated than schoolyard buffoonery. And lest we forget, Bowa's bark produced the same results as Manuel's back-slapping support. The 2001 Phillies came up two games short because they didn't have a winning month after May (save a 4-2 October). The 2002 Phillies opened 9-19, tying the club record for fewest wins in April. The 2003 team led the wild-card race with eight games left but folded quickly and efficiently despite Jim Thome's heroics. The 2004 club, picked by virtually every observer as the favorite in the National League East, showed its colors by basically quitting in late July in Florida. Since then, the Phillies have fired Bowa, Kerrigan, Vukovich and Wade. The heartless on-field performances remain. So, for the third straight summer, I'll make this plea: Gut this team and start from scratch. General manager Pat Gillick most likely has seen enough to know that adding some middle relievers and "innings eaters" isn't enough. This team doesn't have either the heart or the talent to win this division. So why trade prospects in a vain hope at chasing the wild card? Manuel will pay for the team's shortcomings and embarrassing play. Hopefully, after he goes, there will be nobody else for the frauds to hide behind. PhilaTrivia. The Phillies called up pitcher Scott Mathieson from double-A Reading on Thursday. Who was the last Phillie to jump directly from double A without having played in triple A? Recipe for success. The American Hockey League finals were played by my two favorite pig-outs: Chocolate and Beer (better known as Hershey and Milwaukee). The Hershey Bears won the franchise's ninth AHL championship last week. In case you missed it, the Phantoms won the Calder Cup in 2005, proving that eastern Pennsylvania can, indeed, produce winners. And none of their best players rode a motorcycle without a helmet. Bang! The Washington Nationals fired bullpen coach John Wetteland on Thursday. Wetteland, a noted practical joker who would set off firecrackers in the pen during games, was deemed insufficiently serious about his job. Youth must be served. A 24-year-old sportswriter was named general manager of the Minnesota Wild last week. If I knew what the Minnesota Wild were, I'd be jealous. What's that smell? A new golf course opened Wednesday on a decontaminated former landfill in Jersey City, N.J. Kind of makes those "What exit?" jokes seem tame, huh? Trivia answer. Righthander David Coggin, on June 19, 2000. Cliff Politte had made the jump in 1999. (Answer courtesy of readingphillies.com.) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Post a question or comment for Don McKee at http://go.philly.com/askmckee, or by e-mail at dmckee@phillynews.com.

Elster88 Jun 19 2006 08:48 AM

It's always the manager's fault.

Elster88 Jun 19 2006 08:49 AM

]the league's worst batting average with runners in scoring position (.237). Cherry-picker.