Here it is.
Furman Bisher! Wow! I remember reading him in The Sporting News when I was a kid. Nice to see that he's still around.
] Abandon hope all ye who enter Turner Field in '06 Furman Bisher - Staff Sunday, June 25, 2006
In the throes of misery, there can sometimes be found a ray of hope. Not so in the case of the Braves of 2006.
Having said that, let me illuminate you as to just how bad things really are: They're so bad even an outfielder (Kelly Johnson) had to have Tommy John surgery. They're so bad that they've even raided the Australia national team in search of pitchers. They're so bad that only Milwaukee has a worse ERA. They're so bad that their pitching roster leads the league in asterisks (that indicates wounded or in surgery). They're so bad that John Schuerholz might as well disconnect his line to Richmond and Pearl, Miss.
That's just for openers. Friday night, playing Tampa Bay (in St. Petersburg?), John Smoltz throws something out of joint and leaves after two innings. Then one of the Australians, Phil Stockman, stubs his toe on the pitching rubber and pulls something. I'm sorry I don't remember what, but there is one thing the Braves lead the league in: bruises, contusions, pulled groins, pulled hamstrings and assorted strains.
Aren't these guys in shape, or are they just brittle? When a club starts sending its stars to the body shop for help, you know it's trouble, and that starts with T and that rhymes with P and that stands for pool, for all of you who missed "Music Man."
The clubhouse is beginning to look like a bus station. A lot of strange (unfamiliar) names over the cubicles. Some guys just passing through. They recalled one player from Richmond and he was on his way back before he could unpack. The best pitching "find" they came up with this year has been in pro ball since 1993, had pitched for 13 different teams, had pitched 11 innings in the major leagues, is 31 years old. Heaven knows what they'd have done without Ken Ray. His ERA is the best on the staff and he hasn't yet blown a save.
That's just the minor stuff. Get this: Chipper Jones was hitting .270 last time I looked. Smoltz was 4-5 and couldn't win because somebody out of the bullpen was blowing his leads. Tim Hudson hasn't been living up to his wages, and I wouldn't exactly call his season of '05 up to par. Winning 14 is fine, but he was paid a 20-win salary when the Braves traded for him. Chris Reitsma, closer by appointment, took the ball for weeks and got blasted before he finally admitted he wasn't feeling good. In fact, not at all in part of his pitching hand.
You remember how it was last season. It's getting to be a different story now. When trouble struck, all they had to do was call Richmond or Mississippi, and presto! They came up with a Kyle Davies or a Brian McCann, or a Jeff Francoeur, or a Blaine Boyer, or a Macay McBride. Each time a star was born. Everybody was ready last season. This year they're dragging bottom.
"Nobody left down there," Bobby Cox said.
It's one of those in-between seasons. Nobody on the farm is hot, or ready. The best-looking hitting prospect in the spring was James Jurries, who can play first base or outfield. He was hitting over .400. Then he's farmed out to Richmond and gets hurt. In his stead, Scott Thorman, another first baseman, is called up and everything he hits gets caught.
Something else bothers me. Two of the brightest prospects are sitting on the bench, or being platooned, Adam LaRoche and Ryan Langerhans. Somebody needs to build a fire under LaRoche, not just referring to that embarrassing play when Washington was in town. Casual is fine, but it seems he's overdoing it. Langerhans? He has all the tools, great defense, strong arm, sharp baserunner. My idea: Put Andruw Jones, Francoeur and Langerhans in the outfield and leave them there, no matter, right-hander or left-hander pitching.
You never suspected that a Braves bullpen would take such a pratfall. Roger McDowell can do just so much. He is developing a streak of gray down the middle of his locks, and don't bring up the name of Mazzone. Leo is having troubles of his own. The Orioles' ERA is next to the worst in the American League.
I guess that's about all I had on my mind. But who can complain? After 14 years of prosperity we're due some hard times. On the other hand, here's to Brian McCann, who has handled all these cranky pitchers, old or young, has swung a competent bat, and never faltered. |
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