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I'm thinking
Cold coolin' at a bar, and I'm lookin' for some action
But like Mick Jagar said, "I can't get no satisfaction"
The girls are all around, but none of them want to get with me
My threds are fresh and I'm looking def
Yo, what's up with L-O-C?
The girls I sawjokin' at the other end of the bar
Havin' drinks with some no-name chump
When they know that I'm the star
So I got up and strolled over to the other side of the cantina
I asked the guy, "Why you so fly?"
He said, "Funky Cold Medina"
Funky Cold Medina
This brother told me a secret on how to get more chicks
Put a little Medina in your glass
And the girls will come real quick
It's better than any alcohol or aphrodisiac
A couple of sips of this love potion and she'll be on your lap
So I gave some to my dog, when he began to beg
Then he licked his bowl and he looked at me
And did the Wild Thing on my leg
He used to scratch and bite me
Before he was much, much meaner
But now all the poodles run to my house
For the Funky cold Medina
You know what I'm sayin'? I got every dog in my neighborhood
Breakin' down my door, I got Spuds McKenzie, Alex from Stroh's
They won't leave my dog alone with that Medina, pal
I went up to this girl, she said, "Hi, my name is Sheena"
I thought she'd be good to go with a little Funky cold Medina
She said, "I'd like a drink, " I said OK, I'd go get it
Then a couple of sips, she sold licked her lips
And I knew that she was with it
So I took her to my crib, and everything went well as planned
But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess
Sheena was a man
So I threw him out, I don't fool around
With in Oscar Meyer weiner
You must be sure that your girl is pure
For the Funky Cold Medina
You know, ain't no playin' with a man
This is the 80's and I'm down with the ladies, ya know?
Break it down
Back in the saddle, lookin' for a little affection
I took a shot as a conteatant on the Love Connection
The audience voted and you lnow they picked a winner
I took my date to the Hilton for Medina and some dinner
She had a few drinks, I'm thinkin' soon what I'll be gettin'
Instead she started talkin' about plans for a weddin'
Said wait, slow down, love, not so fast, says "I'll be seein' ya"
That's why I found you don't play around
With the Funky Cold Medina
Ya know what I'm sayin', that Medina's a monster, y'all
Funky Cold Medina
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