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Yanx to get Sidney Ponson

Frayed Knot Jul 13 2006 05:04 PM

Claimed off waivers according to WFAN The MFYs were in 5th starter hell after the collaspses of last year's heroes Aaron Small & Shawn Chacon so I guess he'll be slotted in right away. Ponson has been famously under-acheiving, overweight, over-imbimbing, and occasionally under arrest in the last few years, mostly in Baltimore. He had started off (relatively) well with the Cards this season but not so much lately it seems and was waived.

Edgy DC Jul 13 2006 05:25 PM

The class parade continues.

Johnny Dickshot Jul 13 2006 05:41 PM

"This fulfills our need for an obese antisocial alcoholic we've been missing since David Wells left us," Cashman said in a statement. "Looking the other way while our players drink to excess and abuse drugs is a Yankee Tradition dating back to the Big Bambino."

Edgy DC Jul 13 2006 05:47 PM Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Jul 14 2006 10:36 AM

You know, a lot of athletes have done a lot of stupd things, but Ponson punching out a judge on Christmas at the beach, and then fleeing the scene (like anybody can't pick Ponson out of a lineup) gets some serious points for originality. As does his bizarre apology: ""I would like to apologize to everybody, but especially to the young people of Aruba, who always considered me their role model. I'm very sorry for what took place and I would surely never let this happen again.''

silverdsl Jul 14 2006 09:58 AM

Not only punched the judge in Aruba but followed it up by getting into a drunken fight that spring training and then had three DUIs in less than a year. Then there's the little matter of how he pitched so badly that he was dumped out of the Cardinal's rotation, sent to the bullpen, then released. It cost the Yankees very little, but I'm disappointed with this signing.

Edgy DC Jul 14 2006 10:35 AM Edited 4 time(s), most recently on Jul 14 2006 09:45 PM

It's just so bizarre that it could be a Johnny Cash song I've been a glutton for sin and a glutton for ale I've lost three jobs as I've tipped the scale Been drunk as a fish and as fat as a whale Jesus, won't you carry me home? I punched out a judge Christmas Day at the beach I scored as high as the DUI meter could reach Oh children, don't you learn from the lessons I teach Jesus, won't you carry me home? Jesus Oh, Jesus To you, my sins are known And if I'm ever to be saved, I must first be George's slave Oh Jesus, won't you carry me home? A two-time Oriole, a Giant, a Card Three years ago I briefly starred They lie 'bout my weight on my baseball card Jesus, won't you carry me home? As they struggled through 2003 The O's dealt me for Giants three Combined, they all weighed less than me Jesus, won't you carry me home? Jesus Oh, Jesus To you, my sins are known And if I'm ever to be saved, I must first be George's slave Oh Jesus, won't you carry me home? Nevin blocked a deal, that primadonna I missed out on San Diego and Tijuana I stilll dream of tequila and marijuana Oh Jesus, won't you carry me home? They've let me play the same ol' tricks Hell, I've been knighted by Queen Beatrix Now I'm George's bitch, I'm in a fix Jesus, won't you carry me home? Jesus Oh, Jesus To you, my sins are known And if I'm ever to be saved, I must first be George's slave Oh Jesus, won't you carry me home? Now I've sung to you my story, from my pinstriped Purgatory. Oh Jesus... Won't you carry... Me home?

cleonjones11 Jul 14 2006 10:41 AM

THE POLYNESIAN PANTLOAD BE AFRAID VERY AFRAID...

sharpie Jul 14 2006 10:44 AM

]Nevin blocked a deal, that primadonna I missed out on San Diego and Tijuana I stilll dream of tequila and marijuana Oh Jesus, won't you carry me home? Brilliant, Edgy, brilliant.

Rockin' Doc Jul 14 2006 12:42 PM

Edgy with an instant classic.

Frayed Knot Jul 14 2006 01:05 PM

cleonjones11 wrote: THE POLYNESIAN PANTLOAD Y'know if Ponson were actually Polynesian (instead of being from about as far away from Polynesia as one can get) this had the chance to be somewhat humorous. But alas!

soupcan Jul 14 2006 01:13 PM

The 'Corpulent Carib'?

Methead Jul 14 2006 01:19 PM

The [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grand_Poobah]Grand Poobah[/url] from Aruba?

Willets Point Jul 14 2006 01:22 PM

With his arrest record and Aruba connections I'm surprised no one's pinned the Natalee Holloway abduction on him. SC=100

Edgy DC Jul 14 2006 01:24 PM

Get in mah belly!

MFS62 Jul 14 2006 01:29 PM

I just realized something. When I flew over Aruba a few years ago prior to landing, the pilot pointed out that the island was devoid of greenery except for one golf course. I didn't see any baseball fields there. Where did Ponson and Andruw learn to play the game? And if the fields are just dirt, the kids must have to deal with some tricky hops. I wonder why more infielders haven't emerged from there into US baseball (minors and majors). About Queen Beatrix, when I worked at Emery Air Freight, she came thisclose to permanently suspending operations at the Maastrict Airport (The Emery European hub) because the flights sometimes came in later than their noise laws permitted. Old man Emery had to visit her personally to plead for her to reconsider. She eventually did. Later

Edgy DC Jul 14 2006 01:37 PM Edited 2 time(s), most recently on Jul 14 2006 01:42 PM

Andruw Jones is from Curaçao. There are plenty of ballfields, but they're pretty much dirt lots, as the island is pretty much a desert in the ocean. It's the size of Washington DC and I think there are three big leaguers from there.

MFS62 Jul 14 2006 01:40 PM

Edgy DC wrote: Andruw Jones is from Curaçao. Better ballfields? Same Queen. Later

Rockin' Doc Jul 14 2006 02:30 PM

Sidney Ponson's career makes me think of Dean Wormer. I can almost hear him now. "Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to make it in the majors"

Rotblatt Jul 14 2006 02:53 PM

Edgy DC wrote: Get in mah belly! Out of all the zingers in this thread, Edgy, that's the one that actually made me laugh out loud.