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Mikey Spillane Invitational

Edgy DC Jul 17 2006 09:34 PM

Lest we miscredit, I guess it was Chander who was King of the Extended Simile, but today we mark the passing of Mickey Spillane, who had a proud duchy in that kingdom, by tackling the form head-on. Fill in the blanks with your own words and phrases. Round One: "And then she appeared in the doorway. Her _______ was _______ like a ___________." Round Two: "Once I got his piece off of him, it was time for me to send him a message, and I drove my fist into him like a _________ into a ___________." Round Three: "When I came to, I couldn't make out much, but my fingers could make out throbbing egg-sized lump where I got sapped. My head felt like a ______ had ________ with _______." Round Four: Freestyle. (Onlly original work, please. No best-ofs.)

Edgy DC Jul 18 2006 07:08 AM Edited 2 time(s), most recently on Jul 18 2006 07:23 AM

Yeah, I know. Too much. Let me try one. Round Three: "When I came to, I couldn't make out much, but my fingers could make out throbbing egg-sized lump where I got sapped. My head felt like a crumbled newspaper, that had rolled through the gutters of a lousy neightborhood, filled with bad news and dirty pictures .." Eh. Mickey woulda done better.

Benjamin Grimm Jul 18 2006 07:14 AM

Round Three: "When I came to, I couldn't make out much, but my fingers could make out throbbing egg-sized lump where I got sapped. My head felt like a monkey had sauteed it with minced garlic and chopped peppers." What do I know? I've never read Mickey Spillane.

Edgy DC Jul 18 2006 07:21 AM

That's pretty awesome.

Johnny Dickshot Jul 18 2006 07:34 AM

Round One: "And then she appeared in the doorway. Her skirt was hugging her curves like one of those Italian sports cars." Round Two: "Once I got his piece off of him, it was time for me to send him a message, and I drove my fist into him like a pitchfork into a bale of damp hay." Round Three: "When I came to, I couldn't make out much, but my fingers could make out throbbing egg-sized lump where I got sapped. My head felt like Main Street had circus parade with elephants." Round Four: Freestyle. (Onlly original work, please. No best-ofs.) I could barely make her out across the dimly lit, smoky bar, but that was her all right: I could tell by the gentle curls of her straw-colored hair reflected in neon, and I swear I could smell her perfume, bursting out from her like the well-shaken bottle of tonic water the bartender had just cracked for my drink. I took a good long draw on my drink and in that moment decided I had no choice but tell her directly: Her no-good brother’s latest beef was with the business end of snub-nosed revolver. And guess who had the last word. * Round three doesn’t work for me. I wanna replace “had” with “after.” My knowledge of Spillane is only from parody like this and Lite Beer commercials.

Edgy DC Jul 18 2006 07:38 AM

Yeah, screw my prepostions and just riff off of the firest half of the sentence.

MFS62 Jul 18 2006 08:25 AM

Round One: "And then she appeared in the doorway. Her voice was soft, like a kitten's first step." Round Two: "Once I got his piece off of him, it was time for me to send him a message, and I drove my fist into him like a semi careening into a ravine. Round Three: "When I came to, I couldn't make out much, but my fingers could make out throbbing egg-sized lump where I got sapped. My head felt like a space shuttle had landed on it with its wheels up." Round Four: Freestyle. I'm still submitting my Hammer tribute in the other thread, since many CPF-ers apparently haven't seen it yet. http://cybermessageboard.ehost.com/getalife/viewtopic.php?t=3848 Later

Vic Sage Jul 19 2006 11:34 AM

I've already written a Spillane-style story. Here it is... http://www.abyssandapex.com/200604-Emmett.html

MFS62 Jul 19 2006 11:55 AM

Vic Sage wrote: I've already written a Spillane-style story. Here it is... http://www.abyssandapex.com/200604-Emmett.html Vic, I loved that, and said so when the link was posted before (may have even killed the ending for some in my post). But I have to give tribute to one line that appears early in the story ("puked out of my eye") as one that Mickey would have been proud to have written. Later

Vic Sage Jul 19 2006 12:13 PM

Spillane-esque quotes from EMMETT, JOEY & THE BEELZ: Emmett, in a barfight: ]...when the steel toe of that fat biker's jackboot kicked my jewels up into my throat, I felt like I was gonna puke out of my eye... Emmett, describing Joey's tattoo: ]It looks like a pregnant snake giving a blowjob to a yak. Emmett, drinking his breakfast: ]I stare down at the egg in my Jack, and it is staring back at me like the yellow eye I popped out of somebody's head once, down on Canal . Emmett in action: ]...quick as a toe dancer on crank, I spin and throw and bury the blade up to its hilt in Bellson's forehead. Bellson slumps to his knees with a surprised look on his face and he folds like a kangaroo straight in a game of Stud. He stares up at me from the cold stone floor, and that look on his face? Well, the memory of it is gonna give me the giggles for years, if I live for years. more of Emmett in action: ]...I grab him by the throat and squeeze his words until he gags on them. Then, I shove that fancy pig-sticker right into his chest, quick as a schoolboy's squirt.

martin Jul 24 2006 02:29 PM

"When I came to, I couldn't make out much, but my fingers could make out throbbing egg-sized lump where I got sapped. My head felt like a plastic bucket that a street musician had inverted and pummeled with drumsticks for change in the subway." "Once I got his piece off of him, it was time for me to send him a message, and I drove my fist into him like a big unit fastball into that wayward bird he smoked." "And then she appeared in the doorway. Her style was over-the-top, like an arm wrestling stallone" mine are phrased so stupidly they kinda make me laugh.