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Leaving your first child at college

jerseyshore Aug 21 2006 12:51 PM

is more of a gut wrenching experience than I ever could have imagined. I've not cried this much since the Mets traded seaver

MFS62 Aug 21 2006 12:53 PM

With my first one, if my wife hadn't been with me, I would have just slowed down to about 20 MPH and kicked her out the car door. My second one? Yeah, I admit it. I had to push back a tear. Later

metirish Aug 21 2006 12:54 PM

Ahh that had to be tough,like Seaver your kid will return one day.

jerseyshore Aug 21 2006 12:56 PM

metirish wrote: Ahh that had to be tough,like Seaver your kid will return one day. true, but just like seaver,...........not soon enough!

Centerfield Aug 21 2006 01:03 PM

I imagine I may have a tough time. My wife will be a wreck. She cried when we dropped off her brother at business school.

jerseyshore Aug 21 2006 01:11 PM

="Centerfield"]I imagine I may have a tough time. My wife will be a wreck. She cried when we dropped off her brother at business school. as embarassing as is this is to admit (although its not really to hard as I hide behind the cyber-identity jersyshore).....I come form a long, long, line of emotions on the sleeve, easy crying men

ScarletKnight41 Aug 21 2006 01:19 PM

I'm sure she'll be fine JS. And you will be as well! Next year it'll be my turn, so let me know how things go this year so I'll know what to expect.

jerseyshore Aug 21 2006 01:22 PM

ScarletKnight41 wrote: I'm sure she'll be fine JS. And you will be as well! Next year it'll be my turn, so let me know how things go this year so I'll know what to expect. well....if you're anything like me expect the first couple of days to be occupied by fighting back tears and wondering how the hell you're gonna fill that big empty hole inside

Frayed Knot Aug 21 2006 01:23 PM

...I come form a long, long, line of emotions on the sleeve, easy crying men Y'see, this is the feminine side that got us all confused about you in the first place all those years ago.

ScarletKnight41 Aug 21 2006 01:37 PM

jerseyshore wrote: ="ScarletKnight41"]I'm sure she'll be fine JS. And you will be as well! Next year it'll be my turn, so let me know how things go this year so I'll know what to expect. well....if you're anything like me expect the first couple of days to be occupied by fighting back tears and wondering how the hell you're gonna fill that big empty hole inside I don't know that I'll have that next year - I'll still have the two boys at home, so the hole isn't going to be as large as yours. OTOH, when my youngest goes off on his own, I'll probably be a wreck (like I was when he graduated from elementary school a year ago).

Yancy Street Gang Aug 21 2006 01:50 PM

My oldest (older, I guess; I only have two) is still a couple of months shy of his tenth birthday, so I won't be dealing with this for a while yet, but I don't expect that it will be easy for me. Hopefully he'll be within driving distance. When I was in college, my parents were in Smithtown and I was at NYU, just 50 miles away. My sister later went to (and dormed at) Hofstra, which was even closer. If mine goes to California, or the UK, or somewhere really far, I'll be proud of his independence but appropriately traumatized as well.

Hillbilly Aug 21 2006 03:20 PM Re: Leaving your first child at college

jerseyshore wrote: is more of a gut wrenching experience than I ever could have imagined. I've not cried this much since the Mets traded seaver I'll never understand parents like this. This transition is hard enough for the kids without you dumping all your emotional shit on them. I got back from Texas A&M yesterday (a ten hour haul on the back-roads through a lot of empty space), where my first is entering her first year accepting her full ride academic scholarship. She’ll double major in Chemistry and Biology with an eye on an MD/PhD program in 4 years. She just returned from a two and half week leadership conference in Italy with some of her new family of Aggies. The only emotion that I was overwhelmed with was pride. She’s going to need my support financial, emotionally, and academically as she continues to chase her dreams. The last thing that I want her to worry about is that Daddy is lonely without her. (Ironically, she just called $500 in books – FUCK!) Recently, she actually mentioned kids that were worried about just this issue and thanked me for being ‘cool’. She is so excited about academics that’s sick!

jerseyshore Aug 21 2006 07:39 PM Re: Leaving your first child at college

="Hillbilly"] ="jerseyshore"]is more of a gut wrenching experience than I ever could have imagined. I've not cried this much since the Mets traded seaver I'll never understand parents like this. This transition is hard enough for the kids without you dumping all your emotional shit on them. I got back from Texas A&M yesterday (a ten hour haul on the back-roads through a lot of empty space), where my first is entering her first year accepting her full ride academic scholarship. She’ll double major in Chemistry and Biology with an eye on an MD/PhD program in 4 years. She just returned from a two and half week leadership conference in Italy with some of her new family of Aggies. The only emotion that I was overwhelmed with was pride. She’s going to need my support financial, emotionally, and academically as she continues to chase her dreams. The last thing that I want her to worry about is that Daddy is lonely without her. (Ironically, she just called $500 in books – FUCK!) Recently, she actually mentioned kids that were worried about just this issue and thanked me for being ‘cool’. She is so excited about academics that’s sick! WHOA........ I don't recall mentioning that any of this was done in front of her.....this little cyber identity and forum is actually a rather nice dumping ground....and you are correct, its not about me..its about her and she knows all to well the pride i have in her and what she's done. BTW...books at University of SanFransisco have run about $725 ]..."She’ll double major in Chemistry and Biology with an eye on an MD/PhD program in 4 years" Ineresting in that, that is exactly what my daughter is doing

Edgy DC Aug 21 2006 07:56 PM

The jerseyshore/hillbilly First Daughter GPA Smackdown "She’ll double major in Chemistry and Biology with an eye on an MD/PhD program in 4 years" for both of them. Too perfect. I look forward to December when the crybaby and the detached stoic post the first scores in this highly competitive Southeast/Southwest matchup. Good luck

jerseyshore Aug 21 2006 08:01 PM

="Edgy DC"]The jerseyshore/hillbilly First Daughter GPA Smackdown "She’ll double major in Chemistry and Biology with an eye on an MD/PhD program in 4 years" for both of them. Too perfect. I look forward to December when the crybaby and the detached stoic post the first scores in this highly competitive Southeast/Southwest matchup. Good luck the students are in SanFrancisco and Texas...who is Southeast and who is southwest?....... CRYBABY??????...jeez this is a tough room.

Edgy DC Aug 21 2006 09:39 PM

I figured the homes of the posters, not the point-earners themselves. It's really about you and hillbilly, not the girls. Just bustin'. Best non-competitive wishes to you and your daughter

Willets Point Aug 21 2006 10:57 PM

The proud papas can look forward to a letter like this: ] Dear Mother and Dad: It has been three months since I left for college. I have been remiss in writing and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. You are not to read any further unless you are sitting down, okay. Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it caught fire shortly after my arrival are pretty well healed by now. I only spent two weeks in the hospital and now I can see almost normally and only get those headaches once a day. Fortunately, the fire in the dormitory and my jump was witnessed by an attendant at the gas station near the dorm, and he was the one who called the Fire Dept. and the ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital and since I had nowhere to live because of the burnt out dormitory, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him. It's really a basement room, but it's kind of cute. He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to get married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy begins to show. Yes, mother and dad, I am pregnant. I know how very much you are looking forward to being grandparents and I know you will welcome the baby and give it the same love and devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child. The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has some minor infection which prevents us from passing our premarital blood tests and I carelessly caught it from him. This will soon clear up with the penicillin injections I am now taking daily. I know you will welcome him into the family with open arms. He is kind and although not well educated, he is ambitious. Although he is of a different race and religion than ours, I know that your oft-expressed tolerance will not permit you to be bothered by the fact that his skin color is somewhat darker than ours. I am sure you will love him as I do. His family background is good too, for I am told his father is an important gunbearer in the village in Africa from which he comes. Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you there was no dormitory fire; I did not have a concussion or a skull fracture; I was not in the hospital; I am not pregnant; I am not engaged. I do not have syphillis, and there is no Negro in my life. However, I am getting a D in sociology and an F in science; and I wanted you to see these marks in proper perspective. Your loving daughter,

jerseyshore Aug 21 2006 11:29 PM

I'm gonna take a Xanex or two and go to bed.............

MFS62 Aug 22 2006 08:55 AM

WP, Short version. The girl calls home and says, "Mom, I'm in Johnny's room. We're engaged." The mother replies. "In what?" Later

jerseyshore Aug 22 2006 10:31 AM

="Frayed Knot"] ...I come form a long, long, line of emotions on the sleeve, easy crying men Y'see, this is the feminine side that got us all confused about you in the first place all those years ago. it confuses me sometimes too!

Vic Sage Aug 22 2006 11:24 AM

i don't know, JS. my kids are 9 and 5, respectively, and I'm counting the days till they leave for college and i get my life back. I see it as the end of my prison sentence... light at the end of the tunnel. And they haven't even become impossible teenagers yet! Is this wrong of me?

Yancy Street Gang Aug 22 2006 11:28 AM

My kids are the same ages, and I can't imagine a time when they won't be around. I feel like they're giving me more than they're costing me.

Willets Point Aug 22 2006 11:30 AM

Vic Sage wrote: i don't know, JS. my kids are 9 and 5, respectively, and I'm counting the days till they leave for college and i get my life back. I see it as the end of my prison sentence... light at the end of the tunnel. And they haven't even become impossible teenagers yet! Is this wrong of me? "Nobody warns you of this parent's paradox... you want your kids to change and grow... but when they do another child you've just begun to know... leaves forever."

jerseyshore Aug 22 2006 11:47 AM

Vic Sage wrote: i don't know, JS. my kids are 9 and 5, respectively, and I'm counting the days till they leave for college and i get my life back. I see it as the end of my prison sentence... light at the end of the tunnel. And they haven't even become impossible teenagers yet! Is this wrong of me? I can't answer that wrong or right part...all I know is that from the moment i first held her in my arms I both looked forward to the day she entered college and dreaded it....I'm happy for herand proud of her and all that...., but there's a boig old hole where my little girl was

Vic Sage Aug 22 2006 01:49 PM

Willets Point wrote: "Nobody warns you of this parent's paradox... you want your kids to change and grow... but when they do another child you've just begun to know... leaves forever." I was one of the producer on the cast album you are quoting from... http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000005AY0/ref=dp_return_1/102-0856349-3517765?ie=UTF8&n=5174&s=music there's also a lyric from another Maltby/Shire song, where a mother says: "I pay tuition like a fine"...

MFS62 Aug 22 2006 01:57 PM

Vic, as a cousin of David Shire, thanks for the plug. Thinking more about the tears shed when the first child leaves for college, it seems to me that there are two main reasons. The fathers have just realized the financial commitment they are facing. The mothers realize they are getting old. Later

Willets Point Aug 22 2006 02:19 PM

Vic Sage wrote: ="Willets Point"] "Nobody warns you of this parent's paradox... you want your kids to change and grow... but when they do another child you've just begun to know... leaves forever." I was one of the producer on the cast album you are quoting from... http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000005AY0/ref=dp_return_1/102-0856349-3517765?ie=UTF8&n=5174&s=music there's also a lyric from another Maltby/Shire song, where a mother says: "I pay tuition like a fine"... I know that line because it was your sig line for a long, long time and it seemed fitting to the conversation.

jerseyshore Aug 23 2006 10:03 AM

an interseting dichotomy...I spend a lot more time on anther site than here. I posted a similar thread there, only to have to remove it after a handful of explicit sexual references as to what was going on with my child at school. Post here and you get intelligent conversation, post there childish, ignorant drivel.

Yancy Street Gang Aug 23 2006 10:06 AM

You're spending your time at the wrong site.

Willets Point Aug 23 2006 10:07 AM

We elitists excel at intelligent conversation.

Edgy DC Aug 23 2006 10:12 AM Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Aug 27 2006 10:47 PM

And apparently keeping the sexual references implicit and goofy rather than explicit and ignorant.

Rockin' Doc Aug 27 2006 10:43 PM

Congratulations to both JS and Hillbilly for raising such accomplished daughters. You have every reason to be proud. I wish both of your daughters sucess as they continue their academic careers. My oldest, starts his senior year tomorrow. We will soon be sending the applications in to coleges. Both son and parents will anxiously await the anticipated acceptance letters. I'm sure that when the day comes, my wife and I will feel both a sense of pride and emptiness when we drop him off at college. Hang in there, Jersey.

SteveJRogers Aug 27 2006 11:27 PM

Vic Sage wrote: i don't know, JS. my kids are 9 and 5, respectively, and I'm counting the days till they leave for college and i get my life back. I see it as the end of my prison sentence... light at the end of the tunnel. And they haven't even become impossible teenagers yet! Is this wrong of me? Thats why I'm fine being an uncle! Let the parents deal with those issues! Easier doing things when you are a friend you see every now and then as opposed to EVERY SECOND of EVERY DAY! =;)