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Her name is S.

Edgy DC Sep 29 2006 09:22 AM

She's cute and sweet and pouty and new to the office. Wears clothes as tight as a drum, with a Marilyn Monroe innoncence, and men forget their names when she stops by their offices to chat in their doorways. But she's a Yankee fan. And I see through her.

Johnny Dickshot Sep 29 2006 09:26 AM

Can you see through her clothes?

Edgy DC Sep 29 2006 09:27 AM

No, but...

Johnny Dickshot Sep 29 2006 09:30 AM

Take a photo, maybe I can.

Johnny Dickshot Sep 29 2006 09:31 AM

Sexy Sarah.

Edgy DC Sep 29 2006 09:39 AM

You try not to look, but there's that "my blouse is so tight that there are big open arches of tension between the buttons" thing that Scott Erickson's wife had. Surely, you see that the Devil has sent her to deliver me body and soul to the Yankee cause. Already I'm lingering fondly on the noble bat and glove of Scott Brosius.

Farmer Ted Sep 29 2006 09:49 AM

Hate sex, or the thought of it, is acceptable.

soupcan Sep 29 2006 09:57 AM

Edgy DC wrote: Already I'm lingering fondly on the noble bat and glove of Scott Brosius. As long as you don't linger fondly on your own bat. At least not in the office.

Edgy DC Sep 29 2006 10:39 AM

She thinks that, for the Yankees to advance in the post-season, A-Rod has to be benched. Keep thinking, Sweetie.

MFS62 Sep 29 2006 10:43 AM

Edgy DC wrote: She thinks that, for the Yankees to advance in the post-season, A-Rod has to be benched. Keep thinking, Sweetie. Sounds like thinking would be the farthest thing from her mind. Later

Benjamin Grimm Sep 29 2006 10:45 AM

soupcan Sep 29 2006 10:53 AM

Edgy DC wrote: She thinks that, for the Yankees to advance in the post-season, A-Rod has to be benched. Keep thinking, Sweetie. I recently had a conversation similar to this with a Post-'96er (Yankee fan who jumped on the bandwagon). Its amazing how the media and this blind loyalty, for lack of a better word, to Cap'n Clutch has convinced these people that ARod is actually a detriment to their team.

Frayed Knot Sep 29 2006 11:06 AM

And really, who among us wasn't impressed by their ability to scrape by - during the Matsui/Sheff/Cano injuries - with only 5 or 6 multiple All-Stars in their everyday lineup?

metsmarathon Sep 29 2006 11:15 AM

those poor yankees having to get by relying on only derek jeter, jason giambi, alex rodruguez, johnny damon...

Johnny Dickshot Sep 29 2006 11:18 AM

Less Yankee talk. More descriptions of Sarah. Let's hear about her pants.

MFS62 Sep 29 2006 11:18 AM

Frayed Knot wrote: And really, who among us wasn't impressed by their ability to scrape by - during the Matsui/Sheff/Cano injuries - with only 5 or 6 multiple All-Stars in their everyday lineup? FK Please say no more. I'm starting to get all faklempt thinking about how that poor band of ragamuffins has had to overcome their obstacles to endure in this year's pennant race. Somebody hand me a tissue. Later

Edgy DC Sep 29 2006 11:22 AM Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Sep 29 2006 08:40 PM

]And really, who among us wasn't impressed by their ability to scrape by - during the Matsui/Sheff/Cano injuries - with only 5 or 6 multiple All-Stars in their everyday lineup? She wants more pitching.

Benjamin Grimm Sep 29 2006 11:23 AM

Johnny Dickshot wrote: Less Yankee talk. More descriptions of Sarah. Let's hear about her pants. Do what I did. Find and share a picture that best matches your mental image of Sarah.

Rotblatt Sep 29 2006 11:24 AM

]She's cute and sweet and pouty and new to the office. Wears clothes as tight as a drum, with a Marilyn Monroe innoncence, and men forget their names when she stops by their offices to chat in their doorways. But she's a Yankee fan. And I see through her. Perhaps a conversion is in order. I'd suggest using the loveable David Wright as a Trojan horse. [Insert own Trojan condom joke here.]

metirish Sep 29 2006 11:26 AM

Sarah -Thin Lizzy ] One, two One, two, three, four When you came in my life you changed my world My Sarah Everything seemed so right my baby girl My Sarah You are all I want to know You hold my heart so don't let go You are all I need to live My love to you I'll give My Sarah When you begin to smile you change my style My Sarah When I look in your eyes I see my prize My Sarah You are all I want to know You hold my heart so don't let go You are all I need to live My love to you I'll give You are all I want to know Oh my Sarah Don't let go oh no My Sarah You are all I want to know You hold my heart so don't let go You are all I need to live My love to you I'll always give You are all I want to know You hold my heart so don't let go You are all I want to know Oh my Sarah Yes you changed my style with your baby smile Sarah Childlike charms keep me warm hold you in my arms Sarah Change my world my baby girl Sarah All I want to know don't let go No, no, no, no, no, no Sarah Sarah Be mine

Edgy DC Sep 29 2006 11:27 AM

Frayed Knot wrote: And really, who among us wasn't impressed by their ability to scrape by - during the Matsui/Sheff/Cano injuries - with only 5 or 6 multiple All-Stars in their everyday lineup? It sure seemed to float S.'s boat. ]Less Yankee talk. More descriptions of Sarah. Let's hear about her pants. It' ain't Sarah. Her name is one of such devilish poetry that merely to mention it online would insinuate itself into your addled minds and you'd find yourselves taking long breaks to head to Modell's to buy a Mike Mussina jersey, and not even remember how you got there.

MFS62 Sep 29 2006 11:28 AM

Salome? Later

Gwreck Sep 29 2006 11:34 AM

Edgy DC wrote: It' ain't Sarah. Her name is one of such devilish poetry that merely to mention it online would insinuate itself into your addled minds Could it be....Satan?

soupcan Sep 29 2006 11:35 AM

DELORES!

Edgy DC Sep 29 2006 11:35 AM

The way she's playing me over to her diabolical cause, it could be, but that's not the name on the door of her office.

Johnny Dickshot Sep 29 2006 12:09 PM

Sonia. Sonia A. Kittenlike.

Edgy DC Sep 29 2006 12:17 PM

Sonia, yet so far-ah.

metirish Sep 29 2006 12:18 PM

Sheila ?

Benjamin Grimm Sep 29 2006 12:19 PM

It's gotta be Shirley.

Johnny Dickshot Sep 29 2006 12:23 PM

You're just begging for this to get creepy. ****************

Edgy DC Sep 29 2006 12:23 PM

Y'all missing the point.

Edgy DC Sep 29 2006 12:25 PM

ITISCREEPY! I'm a married man, kind of. Married to the Mets also. Force of nature at loose in the office.

Edgy DC Sep 29 2006 12:27 PM

Now, Dickshot, you're crossing a line.

Johnny Dickshot Sep 29 2006 12:34 PM

See? Sorry

seawolf17 Sep 29 2006 12:45 PM

Married, not dead. Sharon? (This is where I'd put one of those little tongue-sticking out emoticons if they were allowed.)

Rockin' Doc Sep 29 2006 01:36 PM

This would be too cruel, she can't possibly be named Suzyn.

willpie Sep 29 2006 02:17 PM

This seems like the kind of situation in which a well-placed Siobhan could wreak havoc. To say nothing of Salome (well played, MFS, well played; there's a great Old 97's song by that name, incidentally). I guess they're not really minting Scheherezades anymore.

ScarletKnight41 Sep 29 2006 02:31 PM

I'm going with Sharlene.

Edgy DC Sep 29 2006 02:36 PM

So am I. And not to no jive ass Yankee game, neither.

KC Sep 29 2006 03:56 PM

Have you seen nipples through the tight clothes? There's nothing hotter than a woman dressed up for work with the head lights on. (sorry, I'm late to this thread)

Zvon Sep 29 2006 05:00 PM

Calling Sarah - J=green]e=blue]ll=indigo]y=orange]f=brown]i=olive]s=violet]h Calling Sarah, crawling back to Sarah cause you're the one I know it sounds unfair, she's like a painting standing there I thank the heavens up above for the one I'm thinking of Calling Sarah, crawling back to Sarah, cause you're the one Sometimes it's awful hard to take, the way she takes me all the way She's delicious beyond compare I'd love to tell her but instead I stare Calling Sarah, crawling back to Sarah And when you ask me if I really love you I can't wait to tell you And if you ever feel you don't believe and don't you trust your feeling Cause it'd be so hard to take your away i wouldn't last one day That's why I'm calling sarah crawling back to sarah Calling Sarah, crawling back to Sarah cause you're the one and when you ask me if i love you i say ye ye ye and when i ask you if you want to you say ye ye ye and when you ask me if i miss you you say ye ye ye and when i ask if i can kiss you you say ye ye ye oh you say and when you ask me if i love you i say ye ye ye oh i say and when i ask you if you want to you say ye ye ye and when you ask me if i miss i miss you i miss you and when i ask if i can kiss you you say ye ye ye Calling Sarah, crawling back to Sarah Calling Sarah, crawling back to, Cause you're the one

Johnny Dickshot Oct 02 2006 07:57 AM

We must know what Sarah's wearing today...

Edgy DC Oct 20 2006 07:30 AM

When the Mets lose, she comes by my office and makes this pouty "poor baby" face.

soupcan Oct 20 2006 07:32 AM

Next time coldcock her.

Edgy DC Oct 20 2006 07:34 AM

Half of me wants to do that.

MFS62 Oct 20 2006 07:37 AM

What does the other half want to do? Later

Iubitul Oct 20 2006 07:49 AM

Edgy - every office has a Yankee fan temptress who tries to coax you to the dark side. Stay far, far away, or prepare yourself for years of heartache...

Farmer Ted Oct 20 2006 07:55 AM

The old "I didn't see you coming around the corner of the cubicle is the reason why I spilled an entire iced latte on your blouse" trick was never employed by Maxwell Smart. I think this is a good time for you to give it a whirl.

Johnny Dickshot Oct 20 2006 08:13 AM

Farmer Ted wrote: The old "I didn't see you coming around the corner of the cubicle is the reason why I spilled an entire iced latte on your blouse" trick was never employed by Maxwell Smart. I think this is a good time for you to give it a whirl. Phineas J. Whoopie, you're the greatest.

Vic Sage Oct 20 2006 10:40 AM

soupcan: "Next time coldcock her." Edgy DC: " Half of me wants to do that." Well, all of me wants to do half of that.

MFS62 Oct 20 2006 10:45 AM

Vic, that's sorta' what my response was alluding to, too. LOL! Well put. Later

Edgy DC Oct 31 2006 07:31 AM

Our receptionist is flaming around the office cross-dressed today, sort of as a seventies momma. Not unlike Wilona from Good Times. After visiting me and shaking his shit, I hear him a few offices down gushing about "Oh, girl, you're too much! With the fishnets, and the pumps! You GO!" I'm afraid to look.

Benjamin Grimm Oct 31 2006 07:36 AM

You really need to post a picture of her one of these days. Like, today.

Edgy DC Oct 31 2006 07:40 AM

Afraid. To. Look.

Johnny Dickshot Oct 31 2006 07:42 AM

You don't have to torture us too.

Edgy DC Oct 31 2006 07:43 AM

I can't breathe. Misery loves company.

cooby Oct 31 2006 07:49 AM

Wait, are we posting a picture of S or the male receptionist?

Edgy DC Oct 31 2006 07:58 AM

I'm sure Carlos will be posting a picture of himself soon enough. But, yeah, thinking of 'Los helps me breathe better. Peeking.... Eh, not as flattering as I feared. Mets are still my team.

cooby Oct 31 2006 07:59 AM

How about one of them together? It'll take the edge off. Speaking of edges, what are you dressed as, Edgy?

Edgy DC Oct 31 2006 08:00 AM

See the "What Are You Dressed As?" thread.

Farmer Ted Oct 31 2006 08:12 AM

This calls for a group Halloween photo. They'll all oblige and it won't look suspicious at all. Pull out the camera phone and get snapping. One of my new colleagues, a transplant from somehwere in the midwest (God, I hate the midwest), came in today dressed with his Poo Holes shirt on and a dumb-ass red soul patch on his bottom lip. My response, "yeah, you sure do look like Red Schoendienst, you old bastard."

Edgy DC Oct 31 2006 08:15 AM

The funny thing is that she and I are both dressed as eighties characters, so they'll probably ask us to pose together.

cooby Oct 31 2006 08:16 AM

She's Cyndi Lauper, right?

Edgy DC Oct 31 2006 08:18 AM

Nope, good guess. She actually just stopped by to suggest that we do a duet. Go Yankees.

metirish Oct 31 2006 08:19 AM

] Go Yankees. Forget the photo, this calls for an intervention...

Benjamin Grimm Oct 31 2006 08:23 AM

Edgy DC wrote: The funny thing is that she and I are both dressed as eighties characters, so they'll probably ask us to pose together. Is she Billy Martin, with latex ears?

Edgy DC Oct 31 2006 08:26 AM

Thanks. Definitely an image to flash on to help me chill the fuck out.

Johnny Dickshot Oct 31 2006 09:03 AM

Dammit, post a pic of this chick already! I can't take it anymore.

Willets Point Oct 31 2006 09:31 AM

Edgy DC wrote: See the "What Are You Dressed As?" thread. St. Peter is from the 80's? Well I suppose he died around 80.

Edgy DC Oct 31 2006 09:37 AM

Johnny Dickshot wrote: Dammit, post a pic of this chick already! I can't take it anymore. Thing is, it's not the look alone. It's the manner. Any other guesses as to the costume?

Benjamin Grimm Oct 31 2006 09:37 AM

It's gotta be Madonna.

metirish Oct 31 2006 09:38 AM

] Any other guesses as to the costume? Madonna

Edgy DC Oct 31 2006 09:40 AM

Nearly, simulataneous Madonnae. No, she's not Madonna.

Valadius Oct 31 2006 09:42 AM

The woman from Flashdance?

Edgy DC Oct 31 2006 09:43 AM Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Oct 31 2006 09:44 AM

Not Jennifer Beals as Alex Owens.

metirish Oct 31 2006 09:44 AM

Mary Lou Retton or Joan Collins

cooby Oct 31 2006 09:44 AM

Boy George?

Benjamin Grimm Oct 31 2006 09:44 AM

Tina Turner?

Benjamin Grimm Oct 31 2006 09:45 AM

Meredith Baxter Birney?

Valadius Oct 31 2006 09:46 AM

Someone from Cats?

cooby Oct 31 2006 09:47 AM

Jennifer Keaton?

metirish Oct 31 2006 09:48 AM

Yer one from sixteen candles...

seawolf17 Oct 31 2006 09:48 AM

Molly Ringwald?

Benjamin Grimm Oct 31 2006 09:48 AM

Of course, cooby! It's gotta be Tina Yothers! Or maybe Rhea Perlman.

Benjamin Grimm Oct 31 2006 09:48 AM

Or Danny DeVito.

Edgy DC Oct 31 2006 09:49 AM

]Mary Lou Retton Certainly not. ]Joan Collins No way. ]Boy George? Nein! ]Tina Turner? Well played. More specifically, Private Dancer-era Tina Turner.

seawolf17 Oct 31 2006 09:49 AM

Or Rhea Perlman sitting on Danny DeVito's shoulders, which would totally win the office costume contest.

cooby Oct 31 2006 10:14 AM

Maybe she will do a private dance for Edgy

cooby Oct 31 2006 01:06 PM

A very unconvincing Tina Turner just walked into my office, too

Edgy DC Oct 31 2006 01:15 PM

S. was convincing. Fortunately for me, she has a stage-quality makeup job going, which, as you might guess, is pretty terrifying up close.

patona314 Oct 31 2006 01:17 PM

Edgy DC wrote: S. was convincing. Fortunately for me, she has a stage-quality makeup job going, which, as you might guess, is pretty terrifying up close. Phyllis Diller

Benjamin Grimm Oct 31 2006 01:17 PM

I'm going to be at Dulles on Monday, December 4, probably dizzy from jetlag. Have her meet me at the airport so that I can get a look at her. I'll leave room in my digital camera for at least one photo of her so I can share it here. Deal?

cooby Oct 31 2006 01:19 PM

My husband's cousin's wife thinks she's hot stuff, but everytime I see her I think she looks like Phyllis Diller

Edgy DC Dec 05 2006 09:18 PM

She made the Featured Archives. She probably thinks this thread is about her.

Edgy DC Sep 28 2007 09:05 AM Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Sep 28 2007 09:40 AM

Guess who just stopped into my office. The tee-shirt under her light corderouy blazer --- a tee-shirt sized to fit a malnourished 14-year-old --- told me that the the B, D, and 4 trains would get me to Yankee Stadium. Her pouty pout told me she had a ton of sympathy for me and the Mets. But her pout was lying so I averted my eyes. But I had to avert my eyes from the tee-shirt also. The conversation got increasing awkward as I tried to figure out where to direct my gaze. It turns out that I have 30 tiles in my office ceiling. Who knew?

Nymr83 Sep 28 2007 09:36 AM

nice to see she's still working with you, enjoy the view

Edgy DC Sep 28 2007 09:50 AM

Well, hey, that's the issue. I'm not going to let any Yankee fan turn me into the local Leery McGrabass. Devil women like her know it and uses it against a person.

Nymr83 Sep 28 2007 10:22 AM

don't grab, just look. Stare, even.

Iubitul Sep 28 2007 12:46 PM

Edgy - you are a wise man - stay away from the temptress - don't let the dark side beckon...

OlerudOwned Sep 28 2007 02:40 PM

http://www.lourdes-water.org/buy/lourdes-water-p-36.html

cooby Sep 28 2007 08:33 PM

Edgy DC wrote: Guess who just stopped into my office. The tee-shirt under her light corderouy blazer --- a tee-shirt sized to fit a malnourished 14-year-old --- told me that the the B, D, and 4 trains would get me to Yankee Stadium. Her pouty pout told me she had a ton of sympathy for me and the Mets. But her pout was lying so I averted my eyes. But I had to avert my eyes from the tee-shirt also. The conversation got increasing awkward as I tried to figure out where to direct my gaze. It turns out that I have 30 tiles in my office ceiling. Who knew? Excuse me. You work with annoying people and you only see them every 9 months? How do you manage that? I would really like to know how to avoid certain folks.

Edgy DC Sep 28 2007 08:34 PM

Well, I annoy them. She had some time out of the office. But the fact is that I don't write about her unless she's being bedeviling.

cooby Sep 28 2007 08:34 PM

Edgy DC wrote: Well, I annoy them. She had some time out of the office. But the fact is that I don't write about her unless she's being bedeviling. This dickhead I'd like to avoid is bedeviling all right. I'd like to bedevil his nuts off with my foot.

Edgy DC Oct 09 2007 10:55 AM Edited 5 time(s), most recently on Oct 09 2007 02:22 PM

My office was a complete mess this morning, projects I never finished on one side and projects I never mean to on the other. It was a disgraceful place to call home and no dame with any real class would be caught dead there. Which is why I shouldn't have been surprised to see S. darken my door six minutes later. Trouble in a skirt suit, her pout cried "comfort me." "Sit down," I said to the skirt suit, "tell me your troubles." ("Oh this thing?" This is what I throw on when I don't have anything else to wear.") "Tell me your troubles." All professional-like. Seems the Yankee boys had been playing her, promising one thing and delivering another. "You reap what you sow," I thought, but before I spoke I realized that reaping what you sow is what got me mixed up with this crazy dame. "Maybe it's a little payback, I says, " Seems to me you've been giving the hi-hat to Rodriguez for a while now, pumping up this Jeter fellow for no good reason. Kind of setting yourself up for one chump to let you down and the other boob to maybe not particularly care much." "I love Alex! I do! It's just, so disappointing!" Yeah, she loved him. She loved them all. Which is just another way of saying she loved nobody. I stood to cool myself with thoughts of the fat canary singing in that clip joint in the Bronx. I was gonna tell her I didn't care what sort of trash a bim like her ran around with. Tell her I was sick of getting in dutch over some two-bit tomato with a taste for the trouble boys. I opened my mouth, looked up, and saw her straightening her stockings and biting her lip, and the words just weren't coming. That first gin was gonna come early today.

TransMonk Oct 09 2007 11:22 AM

Classic.

holychicken Oct 09 2007 12:15 PM

God damn it. I am so jealous. I am an engineer that has pretty much only worked for small companies. Let's face the facts, hot women just don't tend to go into the field of computer/electrical engineering. I wish I knew how many tiles were above me in the lab. :(

Frayed Knot Oct 09 2007 02:18 PM

Edgy's office has itself a serious dose of pulp friction.