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Back in the Saddle

Edgy DC Nov 09 2006 01:46 PM

After accidentally letting my driver's license expire, I was forced to re-take my road test today after 20 years. 91 out of 100. I'll cop to rolling over that stop line, but he's crazy about my turns being too wide. They were perfect. Sublime, really.

cooby Nov 09 2006 02:26 PM

How did you do on the parking part?

Edgy DC Nov 09 2006 02:28 PM

Didn't ask me to park. Good for him, too, because my mad parking skills would have made him weep.

cooby Nov 09 2006 03:01 PM

Oooh, you got a good test guy then Do you mean weep with joy?

Edgy DC Nov 09 2006 03:06 PM

I do so mean. But he made me nervous. I borrowed the car from my friend Julie. He started by standing behind the car and asking me to step on the break and signal right, then left. I did (which beat the alternative of slamming it in reverse and scaring the Hell out of him). He climbed back in the car and smiled. "Did a man decorate the car?" I realized that Julies tailgate was covered with confrontational feminist bumper stickers. I think he decided my turns were too wide before I put the car in gear. Really, I can park a Humvee on a hotdog wrapper.

Johnny Dickshot Nov 09 2006 04:09 PM

I've been in a parking slump myself recently. Not just the physical act of the parallel park -- which is Olympic-quality when I'm on my game -- but the intangibles -- sensing where the parking will be, timing the alternate-side moves impeccably, and even, knowing instantly what side I belong on as well as what day it is. They might have to send me to winter instructional parking league until I get my game back.

Farmer Ted Nov 21 2006 01:22 PM

I clanked two curbs recently, one on a parallel park and another on a little league straight-on into a vacant stall. I blame both on it being a rental car as I'm used to skying over peeps in my SUV. Damn Chevy Impala. I'll gladly take a minor league injury assignment if I can be assured of a real car from Avis next time.

sharpie Nov 21 2006 08:03 PM

Conversely, I'm on a parking roll these days, fitting into spots that passengers think are impossible, having the right instinct on which blocks to go up at impossible parkingtimes to find that magic spot, never missing the alternate side of the street regulations (even planning way ahead to minimize moves). All of you have to bow down to my skills. Word.

cooby Nov 21 2006 09:08 PM

Talk to me after you've taught Lenny to park. That entitles you to bragging rights.

Edgy DC Nov 21 2006 09:23 PM

I took a friend's wife to take an exam last Saturday. She was in a different jurisdiction than I was (Maryland). She was asked to parallel park and flaked. She lost 11 points on parallel parking alone. I tried to look at the bright side. There was a young woman in front of us who I thought was there to take her exam, but as I waited for Binta to finish, I noticed this young woman on a bench waiting as well. Never one to miss a chance to bust a chat with a young woman, I asked her who she was waiting for. "My cousin. It's his sixth time." Wow. I awkwardly withdrew from the conversation. I mean, what would I do if we fell in love and had a kid that had her cousin's smarts? Yikes. So that kid was the one in front of Binta. The two people after her each failed before getting off the starting line, one by putting the car in reverse before putting it in drive, the other by showing up with a car missing exactly one lugnut on each wheel.