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Metmas Carols

Edgy DC Dec 21 2006 12:33 PM

It's a feature we did once on MOFo. We probably wore it out, but I'm bringing it back because things they are slow. I'll start Norfolk sidewalks, New York sidewalks Who knows where you'll awake? When so few on your team still have options There you're closing, here you're mopup Rollerblade 'til you ache And when the Mets GM calls you, you hear Hi, Heath Bell Bye, Heath Bell Flying from Norfolk to the City You and Ring Have run out the string But the Pads just might let you both play Another: DiFelice found a job! DiFelice found a job! DiFelice found a job! Bats zero, he has found another team to rob!

Benjamin Grimm Dec 21 2006 12:36 PM

Interesting that Carlos is an anagram for Carols. I thought this thread was going to be about Beltran and Delgado's Christmas get-together in Puerto Rico.

Edgy DC Dec 21 2006 12:42 PM

I wish.

Johnny Dickshot Dec 21 2006 01:00 PM

Milledge, Iriki, Tucker Is the thing we say When we see the Tides boxscore today

Benjamin Grimm Dec 21 2006 01:06 PM

That's the Norfolk lineup that we send to you From the Mets of Triple A

Edgy DC Dec 21 2006 01:21 PM Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Dec 21 2006 02:10 PM

There your star third baseman's Mr. David Wright Here we have Tagg Bozied batting fourth tonight

Johnny Dickshot Dec 21 2006 02:01 PM

Milledge, Iriki, Tucker is the thing they say Made the Tides send the Mets away

Edgy DC Dec 21 2006 02:39 PM

Duaner got his arm broke by a drunkard Driving in Miami in July You can say there's no such thing as shit luck But Tom Glavine, he would tell you, it's a lie He'd been pitching like a Godsend But he should have caught the bus And he'd have gotten to the airport And Nady'd still be here with us When we'd heard he'd broke his shoulder We thought the year was up in smoke But Heilman really raised his game up 'Til Yadier Molina, what a joke! Oh, Duaner got...

ScarletKnight41 Dec 21 2006 02:42 PM

Edgy - thank you so much for the laugh. That was wonderful!

Edgy DC Dec 22 2006 02:04 PM

I saw three chips get traded off On Chrismas Day, on Christmas Day I saw three chips get traded off On Christmas Day in the morning And what was in those chips all three, On Christmas day, on Christmas day? And what was in those chips all three, On Christmas day in the morning? Milledge, Pelfrey, Humber, see On Christmas day, on Christmas day; Milledge, Pelfrey, Humber, see On Christmas day in the morning. Pray whither went those chips all three On Christmas day, on Christmas day? Pray whither went those chips all three On Christmas day in the morning? To Boston, Tampa, and KC On Christmas day, on Christmas day, To Boston, Tampa, and KC On Christmas day in the morning. And what'd we get beneathe our tree On Christmas day, on Christmas day? And what'd we get beneathe our tree On Christmas day in the morning? Wakefield, Cantu, and Greinke On Christmas day, on Christmas day; Wakefield, Cantu, and Greinke On Christmas day in the morning. I took three shits in disbelief On Christmas day, on Christmas day; I took three shits in disbelief On Christmas day in the morning.

Nymr83 Dec 22 2006 03:32 PM

Cantu's upside is pretty good, though his downside is Luis Lopez. that was a really funny one.

Nymr83 Dec 22 2006 03:39 PM

Chanukah songs are feeling left out... I have an injured pitcher His arm is made of clay And when he throws a fastball He'll hit the DL that day El duque duque duque Your arm is made of clay And when you come off the DL Baseball you shall play He has very little stamina The Mets should toss him in the trash bin In the 3rd inning when he gets tired the Mets' opponent will win! He's pretty far over the hill His curveball will not spin An unhappy game of baseball The Mets can't possibly win! ]I have a little dreidel I made it out of clay And when it's dry and ready Then dreidel I shall play CHORUS Oh dreidel dreidel dreidel I made it out of clay And when it's dry and ready Then dreidel I shall play It has a lovely body With legs so short and thin And when it is so tired It drops and then I win! CHORUS My dreidel's always playful It loves to dance and spin A happy game of dreidel Come play now, let's begin! CHORUS p.s. if i get el duque in the song contest i've already lost...

Benjamin Grimm Dec 22 2006 04:16 PM

I didn't know Orlando Hernandez was Jewish!

Kong76 Dec 22 2006 06:13 PM

Here comes Mr. Met, here comes Mr. Met Right down third base line Pepsi shooter girls and their dumb tee shirts Shootin' ain't it fine Mets are winnin', fans are grinnin' What a beautiful sight Punch your glove and say HEY HO 'cause Mr. Met comes tonight! Here comes Willie Claus, here comes Willie Claus 'top the dugout steps He's got a card thats got the bats Gonna get a lotta yeps Mets are winnin', fans are grinnin' What a beautiful sight Punch your glove and say HEY HO 'cause Willie Claus comes tonight! Here comes Zito Claus, here come Zito Claus Right down Omar lane Him and Boras gonna screw the Mets More money to be gained Mets are winnin', fans are grinnin' What a beautiful sight Punch your glove and say HEY HO 'cause Zito Claus comes tonight!

Edgy DC Dec 23 2006 09:28 PM

Always in some danger Of breaking his head The nephew of Jesus Signed this year by Fred The stars in our lineup Sometimes wouldn't wake When lefties were pitching And Wright wouldn't rake I love the manuever Though fear for his knees That he'll fall from his treadmill Fall prey to fierce bees See, the nephew of Jesus May fit better than Cliff 'Cause he bats righthanded And tends not to whiff But he's scarce an improvement O'er Floyd's sketchy health A risky investment Of Wilpon's sweet wealth I cry to you, Jesus You once were a Met Please guide our dear Moises Our new power threat

OlerudOwned Dec 23 2006 10:31 PM

MINAYA AND WILPON We wish you would sign this contract, We wish you would sign this contract, We wish you would sign this contract to pitch for us this year BORAS AND ZITO Add a year and 15 million, Add a year and 15 million, Add a year and 15 million and a new private plane We won't sign until we get more, We won't sign until we get more, We won't sign until we get more and Tom Hicks is calling. MINAYA AND WILPON We think Boras is just bluffing, We think Boras is just bluffing, We think Boras is just bluffing but there's always Suppan

Edgy DC Dec 26 2006 09:12 AM Edited 5 time(s), most recently on Dec 26 2006 10:17 AM

We three Reyes played shortstop as Mets Succeeded each other in Metly vignettes Batting, running, catching, gunning Different levels of threats Oh, oh... Latin shortstops, here at Shea Varying levels of infield play Slick and athletic, sometimes pathetic Each of us bore the title "Rey" Ordonez was I, with glove made of gold Lied on the form that asked me "How old?" Harmless contact, burdensome contract "Met fans are dumber than mold" Oh, oh... Latin shortstops, here at Shea Varying levels of infield play Slick and athletic, sometimes pathetic Each of us bore the title "Rey" Reyes am I, I'm faster than light Swing at a pitch three feet to the right Irrepressible, happy, accessible Help me, my hammies are tight Oh, oh... Latin shortstops, here at Shea Varying levels of infield play Slick and athletic, sometimes pathetic Each of us bore the title "Rey" I am Rey Sanchez, I played in between Haircuts in-game cause fans to vent spleen My playing was smelly, got traded for Kelly Successor was only nineteen Oh, oh... Latin shortstops, here at Shea Varying levels of infield play Slick and athletic, sometimes pathetic Each of us bore the title "Rey" I am Matsui, no "Rey" in my name My presence at short makes this song kind of lame I am the blemish of Edgy's premise Bastard forgets that I came Oh, oh... Latin shortstops, here at Shea Varying levels of infield play Slick and athletic, sometimes pathetic Each of us bore the title "Rey"

Benjamin Grimm Dec 26 2006 09:14 AM

Very nice! The Mets will become less lyrical when they start playing in a stadium with a name that's not as rhyme-friendly as "Shea."