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Crazy Crap in my Shopping Cart

Edgy DC Mar 14 2007 02:10 PM

Coming back from Denver, the folks at the gate opened my bag and siezed my hair gel. The rule is: no toiletries over 3.4 oz (apparently that's a nice round number --- 100 ml --- in Euruope. My tube said 4.5 oz, I think, but there was really only about an ounce left, so they were being stickly, but I don't argue with uniforms if I can help it. Today, after over week with bangs, I run by CVS to pick some up and I walk out with: Now you all don't have that 20:15 vision that the Soupster has been surgically blessed with, so I'll input the words from the front of the tube here. Schwarzkopf göt2b magnetík =darkred]styling GEL [with pheromones] [ 4: guys who want ] - hold polish game Folks, it looks like I just made the major leagues.

Nymr83 Mar 14 2007 02:16 PM

]Now you all don't have that 20:15 vision that the Soupster has been surgically blessed with, so I'll input the words from the front of the tube here. the container is perfectly legible as is, whats the problem?

Edgy DC Mar 14 2007 02:23 PM Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Mar 14 2007 10:52 PM

Clearly, you've got the vision. And clearly I've got no problem. Back side promises me even more. b WARNED: THIS GOES BEYOND YOUR ORDINARY STYLING GEL. göt2b magnetík styling gel contains pheromones- a man's secret edge to make the ladies take notice. So get you game on... because this sh*% delivers firm hold and natural shine --- AND gets the ladies revved up. Work it: Applly a generous amount evenly through damp or dry hair. Use cautiously at first until you know your true magnetík effect.

soupcan Mar 14 2007 02:29 PM

="Nymr83"]the container is perfectly legible as is, whats the problem? Yeah, really, what's the problem suckas? And for those of that don't need the extra assist from the pheremones and do just fine wit da ladies on your own, I have found that this product delivers all the hold, style and machismo as is necessary... That's right, it's DIRT, by Joathan.

Edgy DC Mar 14 2007 02:35 PM

Dude, I just put sh*% in my hair.

Johnny Dickshot Mar 14 2007 02:44 PM

I use this shit, but sometimes I go weeks without it. I've had the same container for more than a year

Yancy Street Gang Mar 14 2007 02:49 PM

All I use is a towel when I get out of the shower.

seawolf17 Mar 14 2007 03:32 PM

What is this "hair" you all are talking about? I had some of that once, but come on, that's kid stuff.

Edgy DC Mar 14 2007 03:40 PM

It looks like I can count my hair-wearing years on one hand, so I figured it's time to pull out the big guns. Initial response has been astounding.

Johnny Dickshot Mar 14 2007 04:04 PM

So what do you bald guys rub on your heads? I mean, if I suddenly went bald I'd probably rub everything with my head for awhile, just to see how it felt. But in a daily-maintenence way, has the Health & Beatuty Care industry damaged your self-image badly enough yet to trick you into believing you need some kind of goo out of a tube to squirt on your noggin everyday?

Yancy Street Gang Mar 14 2007 04:08 PM

Johnny Dickshot wrote: So what do you bald guys rub on your heads? Just a towel when I get out of the shower. I do have hair, just not on top of my head, and I towel-dry that, too. It never really bothered me when my hair started thinning. I never did anything to hide the bald spot or to slow or stop or reverse the hair loss. My daughter, 5, was recently very excited to see a commercial on TV about hair restoration. She rushed into the room I was in to tell me the exciting news. And she simply couldn't believe it when I told her I wasn't interested in getting my hair back. In fact, if there was a free pill, that I'd just have to take once in my life and it would restore my full head of hair, I wouldn't take it. I am what I am. I'll keep the hairline and scalp that my DNA has granted me.

Johnny Dickshot Mar 14 2007 04:11 PM

Oh, I didn't mean for hair-restoration but for general scalp maintenence. I was wondering whether "they" convinced you a bald head is doomed if not for daily treatment with our miracle goo

Yancy Street Gang Mar 14 2007 04:16 PM

I'm not aware of any miracle goo for bald heads. If it exists, the advertisers haven't gotten the message to me. When I feel the top of my head I'm able to detect a certain amount of fuzz that I'd rather not have slicked down by goo anyway. If I had to give it any thought, I'd prefer my head to be dull rather than shiny.

Johnny Dickshot Mar 14 2007 05:15 PM

There's a goo for everything.

Rockin' Doc Mar 14 2007 07:32 PM

I run a small amount of Aussie Mega Hold Gel through my damp hair after I towel dry it in the morning. Then I generally let it dry as I get ready for the day. If I was bald, I would certainly be rubbing copious amounts of sunscreen on my head before heading out most days.

Frayed Knot Mar 14 2007 08:23 PM

Towel, then comb ... but only if it's a weekday. 'Hand-combing' works quite well enough if it's a Saturday. So does open car window for drying purposes.

MFS62 Mar 15 2007 09:23 AM

What ever happened to "a little dab'll do ya' "? Later

soupcan Mar 15 2007 09:24 AM

Brylcream died with Mickey Mantle.

sharpie Mar 15 2007 09:26 AM

Towel and comb. I've managed to keep a semblance of hair longer than my father or brother so every day I feel I'm ahead of the game. I used to use some goo, but I didn't like the way it made my hair feel (sticky) so I haven't for years.

iramets Mar 15 2007 11:06 AM

foregoing masturbation restores your eyesight to a remarkable degree, I've learned, although it makes your remaining hair fall right out. I think the trade-off is worth it. Of course a post in this font size and color is only legible to those of us who've had the operation, like Soupy, or who are masters of their domain, so let's keep it amongst ourselves, shall we, gentlemen?.