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National Health Crisis: Book II
Edgy DC Apr 27 2007 02:51 PM Edited 6 time(s), most recently on Apr 27 2007 03:38 PM |
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OK, look. What you didn't get from my first installment, I'll try and catch you up on. But seriously, what do you want to know. The Nats are only our enemy in that they gave aid and comfort to our real enemy, the Phils. The Phils had theyselves one of those two-hour air-clearing meetings, and turned around and won five straight. OK, it was written, they've gotten the lack of phocus out of their system. OK, they're phinally on board with Charlie Manuel's approach. Bullshit, they just ran into some teams playing assball, including the Nats, who specialize in the game. Nonetheless, the Nats took their third game against Philadelphia, ending the Rollinses five-game win streak. We should punish them. So let's quicky review some of those pitchers: Fun Faxx: He's the number 42 prospect in baseball according to I Know More Minor League Shit Than You Magazine. He was signed by Arizona after audtioning on a makeshift mound behind a warehouse. He came over in the trade for Livan Hernandez. Fun Faxx: Williams lost his temper on the mound against Florida, where he was hung out there by Manny Acta during his battering in order to rest a tired bullpen. Acta took him aside during the game and lectured him about showing his emotions on the field. After the game, he told the media that he "lost his confidence," an interestingly frank admission that had Acta and others quickly in spin mode repeating that this wasn't actually the case and Williams had merely chosen his words wrong. Williams has been saying the right things ever since, as if the words are written on his hand. Fun Faxx: Bergmann is a native of Neptune, NJ ("I think I'm on another planet with you, with you...") and was at Yankee Stadium the afternoon Tom Seaver won his 300th game on August 4, 1985. He was not quite four. More National News: Jesus Flores finally got a few hits --- two doubes in one game, one driving in two runs. He belongs to usStarter Brian Schneider, meanwhile, contines to be an awful hitter. Things fall apart; the center cannot hold. Acta is trying to work goofy-looking shortstop Josh Wilson in against lefties, but Homes is batting .077. Not only that, but the guy he's displacing in such situations is Felipe Lopez, one their only players worth depicting as a pose-able action figure. You might see these lineups:
The following guys are on the DL and this disaster is TECHNICALLY NOT THEIR FAULT: pitchers Luis Ayala, Ray Kingsize, and Michael O'Connor; infielders Christian Guzman and Nick Johnson; and outfielders Alex Escobar and Nook Logan. The Nats recently became the first team to deliver tickets to patron's cellphones, which can then be scanned at the gate from the cellphone display. That's some serious Buck Rogers shit there. When contacted for a comment Gil Gerard expressed no interest in ever attending a game at RFK. Zimmerman is worth keeping an eye on. He seemed to have found his stroke in Florida. The weather just broke and sun is out. Enjoy the weekend.
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Willets Point Apr 27 2007 03:05 PM |
That one guy seems to be breaking the draconian "NO SITTING" rule. Freakin' hippies!
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Johnny Dickshot Apr 27 2007 03:09 PM |
Thanks. I had let my subscription to I Know More Minor League Shit Than You Magazine expire, but mostly because I've become so fond of Draft and Follow Weekly.
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Yancy Street Gang Apr 27 2007 03:12 PM |
It looks like you're missing a </TABLE> tag Edgy.
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metirish Apr 27 2007 03:15 PM |
Williams Nats career will be worth watching,sounds like he has no biz being in the big leagues.
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Edgy DC Apr 27 2007 03:35 PM |
Yeah, fix't it. I had an extra apostrophe in there, if you believe that.
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Frayed Knot Apr 27 2007 03:44 PM |
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Which reminds me that I think ESPN needs to do more NFL draft previews. I'm not sure the 100 or so hours/week they're doing now - or the all-day coverage planned for the next two days is enough. Shirley there's some overlooked aspect that they can take more time to explore: - pinky toe size as a predictive factor of NFL success? -the effect of Jr High shop classes as linebacker preparation?
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metirish Apr 27 2007 03:53 PM |
Has Chris Berman coined nick names for the top picks yet?,I just can't imagine tuning in to watch the draft.
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Edgy DC Apr 27 2007 04:07 PM |
Baseball, gentelmen!
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metirish Apr 27 2007 04:20 PM |
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Edgy DC May 02 2007 01:32 PM |
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Part II:
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