Sep 26 2007 02:08 PM
Edgy digging up the Benson Bunch reminded me of my foray into the same kind of thing with [url=http://cranepoolforum.net/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?t=1052]SAABP[/url], which I was quite proud of. I started thinking about what might be going on inside the Mets clubhouse right now. So here goes:
All right, you guys. Everybody here?
Yeah.
Yup.
Uh huh.
Si! SI!!!
The whole team's here, David. I think I see everybody...
Wait, where's Lastings?
I gotta finish my drink, fool!
Son, put that shit away. Alcohol isn't gonna solve this.
Well what the FUCK are we SUPPOSED to goddamn do?!?!? Us hitters keep going out there busting our asses, and our fucking pitchers blow it EVERY FUCKING TIME!!!
It's not all our fault...
If you position players didn't make no errors all the time, we win more games!
Eat me!
Foooooood...
I didn't mean that literally, you fat fuck!
Guys, guys!!! Dookie, chill out. These are both valid points, guys - our pitching blows and our fielding sucks. And Jose... what the hell is wrong with you?
What you mean? I feel real good right now.
You're playing sloppy baseball, Jose. And your eyes look all fucked up all the time now.
I found box that say "Doc's Medicine Kit" that they dig up building new field. It has plants and powders in it that I eat for past month, make me feel good! Want some?
Hit me up with some of that!
No, you idiots! That's Dwight Gooden's secret stash! He told me about it when he was with Houston! Jose, you've been high all month! Stop taking that shit right now!
But I feel good...
Do as he says, Jose. We need you playing better. We all need to play better. Let's get our heads in the game. Anyone have something to fire us up?
How about you, Conine? You've been awfully quiet. What do you think we should do to our opponents when we take the field tonight?
They shall all drown in lakes of blood. Now they will know why they are afraid of the dark... now they will learn why they fear the night.
That's a little... um... morbid there, Jeff. Hey, what are you doing with your bat?
No one in this world can you trust. Not men, not women, not beasts. THIS you can trust!
That time, he actually made fucking sense!
We just gotta trust ourselves.
And our bats!
And our gloves!
We just gotta trust in ourselves to play good baseball! If we all believe in ourselves, we can have faith in each other! Let's go out there and beat the snot out of them!!! Ready? Let's go!!!
