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Aubrey Huff, Knucklehead

Valadius Nov 15 2007 11:57 AM

It's not a smart idea to refer to the city you play in as a "horse-shit city". ]Orioles angered by Huff's controversial comments November 15, 2007 BALTIMORE (TICKER) -- The Baltimore Orioles are considering disciplining Aubrey Huff for comments he made during a recent radio appearance, the Baltimore Sun reported on its web site Thursday. Huff appeared on satellite radio's "Bubba The Love Sponge" show on November 8 and, during the 90-minute spot, referred to Baltimore as a "horse (expletive) city" in addition to discussing other racy topics. Team officials reportedly are furious with Huff, who signed a three-year, $20 million deal with the Orioles in January. "I just think it was tasteless and offensive, and you can count me among those offended," Orioles president of baseball operations Andy MacPhail told the Sun. Despite the team's disappointment, two longtime baseball executives - who requested anonymity - told the Sun on Wednesday that it is unlikely the Orioles will be able to do much to punish Huff. A .280 hitter with 15 home runs and 70 RBI last season, Huff took to the local airwaves in Baltimore on Wednesday to apologize for the remarks, stating he was "acting" and that he was surprised about the attention. "Is it the smartest thing in the world to say that stuff? No. But nobody has ever accused me of being smart," Huff told ESPN Radio 1300. "For the people who are offended, I apologize. For the people who aren't offended, I hope they got a tremendous laugh, because that's what it was meant for. "We're not politicians. We're baseball players. There are certain things you can or cannot say. Was it over the line? Maybe a little bit. But it was all in good fun. Hopefully, it didn't offend anybody. If it did, so be it." Huff used profanity often during his appearance with "Bubba" and discussed, among other topics, waking up with a hangover in the early afternoon before games and watching pornography in his hotel room on the road. Huff's assessment of Baltimore was anything but a hit with fans, who have been blasting the 30-year-old designated hitter on various Internet message boards and in the local media.

Edgy DC Nov 15 2007 12:03 PM

O's fans are so dis-spirited, they're hard-pressed to meet the challenge of coming up with a better punishment than making him serve out his contract.

metsguyinmichigan Nov 15 2007 12:10 PM

Yike! And this is from a guy who played in St. Pete for the Ex-D-Rays! I haven't spent too much time in Baltimore, but it seemed like a nice enough place.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Nov 15 2007 12:26 PM

We were in Charm City a few weeks ago. Had a great plate of red snapper at Oceanaire. Buck Junior loved the fish in the aquarium. On the down side, the Inner Harbor could use a little more exitement: Chain retail has completely conquered it, and the surviving locals specialize in cheap crapola. Baltimore is really more like Philly than Washington.

soupcan Nov 15 2007 12:32 PM

Being a Sirius subscriber I actually heard some of this when it was on. The Bubba the Love Sponge show is aired on one of the two stations that broadcast Howard Stern and my Sirius is usually tuned to one of those stations. I didn't realize exactly what was on at the time, as I was sort of just half-listening. My ears did perk up when I heard Aubrey Huff's name amid a expletive-laced dialogue. I remember thinking that it was odd for a ballplayer to be in this venue and contributing to it as he was. He was indeed dropping some 'F'-bombs as well as discussing pornography. I figured at the time that there might be ramifications.

Benjamin Grimm Nov 15 2007 12:37 PM

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: Baltimore is really more like Philly than Washington. Yes, it is. But Philadelphia has a larger area that's safe and interesting to visitors. Baltimore, from what I've seen, is nice near the Inner Harbor but everywhere else is worth avoiding. I once had an assignment at a college in the ghettos of Baltimore and it was like visiting the set of "The Wire." (I guess I actually WAS visiting the set of "The Wire.")

Edgy DC Nov 15 2007 12:42 PM

I'm not sure who is being complimented or dissed in that PhilaBaltiWash distinction.

soupcan Nov 15 2007 12:46 PM

Professionally and personally, I've got nothing but bad things to say about Baltimore.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Nov 15 2007 12:50 PM

My thoughts were disjointed. I was remarking on my trip to Baltimore, then I went off on a tangent thinking it was a more northern-like city than Washington, with which its always associated. Of course Philly is larger and more vibrant than Baltimore. I was saying tho, that the Inner Harbor is kinda tired and toiuristy, and that you might have more fun in the Fells Point, Federal Hill neighborhoods than the Inner harbor. The Harbor is also much closer to the sleazed out strip-club area known as "The Block" than I'd realized. Acciently walked there looking for a place to eat.

Edgy DC Nov 15 2007 12:50 PM Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Nov 15 2007 01:00 PM

soupcan wrote: Professionally and personally, I've got nothing but bad things to say about Baltimore. Went out for a ride and you never went back, huh?

Nymr83 Nov 15 2007 12:58 PM

JD, did you "accidentally" find a strip club and make your way inside?

John Cougar Lunchbucket Nov 15 2007 12:59 PM

No, seriously. Have you ever been to the block? Way, way too skeevy for me.

Nymr83 Nov 15 2007 01:08 PM

i've been to Baltimore exactly once and that was for a very religious wedding, presumably far from anything "skeevy".

Valadius Nov 15 2007 01:20 PM

The following is part of the transcript of the Aubrey Huff interview: ]Huff: “Let’s talk to our lady friend…” Bubba: “Now Aubrey, do you jack off a lot on the road, like when you’re not with your wife.” Huff: “It’s all I do. It’s all I do. You guys have no idea how much downtime there is in baseball. You wake up from a hangover about 1 o’clock.” Producer shouts: “In the afternoon?” Huff: “Oh, yeah! Lemme tell you this. When you are hung over, how horny are you? I’m horny, when I’m hungover, I’m horny. So I’m just gonna beat off. And that’s all I do.” Bubba: “And do you have your own room or do you have a roommate.” Huff: “No, I’ve got my own room. C’mon, I’m not gonna beat off in front of my own roommate. C’mon Bubba!” Bubba: “What time is the team bus to get to the field, like 5?” Huff: “Four o’clock.” Bubba: “So for three hours you’re just jerking the fuck outta yourself. Huff: You know what they have now in the hotels is the (paas??) for $34.99, you get the whole section.” Bubba: “Who does that get billed to, you or the Orioles? Huff: “No, that’s my own gig. When you check out and she (the hotel clerk) says, $34.99 and she looks at you as you’re checking out: ‘Ahh, you beat the shit outta it, didn’t ya?’ ‘Yeah, pretty much! Yeah, I jacked the fucking shit outta it!’ ” Bubba: “So they did the room and you do the incidentals.” Huff: “Yeah, incidentals are all us, which include porn. And jacking off.” Bubba: “… We’ve done a lot of major league baseball players’ interviews and I’ve never heard one this candid. ‘I jacked the shit outta myself for three hours! What else is there to do?’ Not that ‘I’m studying the pitcher I’m going to go against.’ Producer: “So now I know the other ones are bullshitting us and Aubrey is telling the truth.” Huff: “Exactly!” Producer: “Do you guys do any studying or is there any of that going on? Or is the catcher the only one that’s really gotta study anything? Huff: “The guys that are studying -- it’s bullshit. See ball, hit ball. You know what I mean? You’ve done it your whole life. You see the ball, you hit it. All this studying? Honestly, you’re gonna look at a piece of, a TV? And say this guy, this guy is going to throw me this way? No, he might throw you a different way! Who cares? Just see it and hit it!

Benjamin Grimm Nov 15 2007 01:52 PM

He should hook up with Anna Benson. They'd be baseball's favorite couple.

Nymr83 Nov 15 2007 02:10 PM

Aubrey Huff is my new favorite player.

Valadius Nov 15 2007 02:15 PM

Makes you wonder about the kind of conversations between Huff and Kris Benson, who were teammates last year, after all. I've found video of part of the Aubrey Huff appearance on Bubba the Love Sponge. WARNING. This is not work-safe. This is not for those easily offended. The following link takes you to a page with a video of Aubrey Huff, a married man, admiring a naked woman, painting that woman's breasts and rear end, and talking about sniffing said rear end. Are you in a safe place to view this? If so, here's part of the Aubrey Huff meltdown. [url]http://deadspin.com/sports/aubrey-huff-loves-naked-people/aubrey-huff-admires-works-of-art-322596.php[/url]

smg58 Nov 15 2007 02:34 PM

Benjamin Grimm wrote: He should hook up with Anna Benson. They'd be baseball's favorite couple. What makes you so sure that he hasn't?

Valadius Nov 15 2007 04:52 PM

The train wreck that is the Aubrey Huff interview just keeps on giving. Here's more of the interview: ]************ Melissa Midwest: “How many women have you slept with?” Producer: “…Who in here knows exactly how many women they’ve slept with? Bubba: “Aubrey!” Aubrey: “I couldn’t even begin to tell ya. I couldn’t even give ya a ballpark. I know I’m over…” Bubba: “Five hundred?” Aubrey: “No, no! I’d say between 2 and 300. Huff then mistakenly calls one of the producers’ shirts by the wrong color. Aubrey: “I’m colorblind, man! No shit, I’m colorblind! ************ The conversation with Melissa Midwest again turned racy. Bubba wanted her to rate the four men on the air in the order she’d have sex with them if “they were all single.” She was tittering and avoiding answering the question: Melissa: “You’re putting me on the spot.” Bubba: You wouldn’t believe the spots I’ve put Aubrey in today. We’ve got more from a professional baseball player! The players union is probably writing his papers up right now. He jacks off, he fucking charges it to the Baltimore Orioles and he thinks Hank Aaron is an asshole!” Later, when Melissa refuses to “grade” Aubrey because of his marital status (and he is shown sporting his ring and making many references to his wife): Huff: “That’s so fucking unfair! I want to do this for my own manhood!” Later… Bubba: “God, she is so beautiful! Look at that! Natural tits, Aubrey!” Huff: “WOW! You don’t even see this at the Dollhouse! Not even close!” Huff finally enters the equation and finishes second in the running for Melissa’s wish list. The staff cries “bullshit” and Melissa turns to Huff and says: “I just thought you can get pussy whenever you wanted, so…” Huff: “No, no, no! I’m married, so I don’t…” Bubba: “You’re a horrible liar, Aubrey!” ************** Apparently Huff cut a country music record as part of a Major League Baseball album. I think Jack McDowell, Barry Zito, Bernie Williams and some other musicians put out some music for charity. Maybe Huff was on that record, I dunno! But Bubba spun the song, and Huff’s eyes closed, his neck dropped back and he went into song, singing note for note. Bubba questions whether it’s really him singing on the CD. Huff: “That’s all me, bitch! Bubba: “It’s got some processing on you.” Huff: “No! That’s good shit! That’s Britney Spears’ kinda shit!” The album, we learn, is called “Oh, Say Can You See” done by MLB players. “Letters From Home” by John Michael Montgomery is the song he’s crooning. Bubba says he should go into singing. It’s honestly not bad by country music standards. One of the producers also chimes in that “singing country isn’t hard.” Huff seems sincere when he talks about a lot of mothers and kids of parents in the military writing him about the song. Bubba concedes: “Aubrey, you know I like to bust your balls, but that’s pretty good!” **************** Bubba: “Aubrey Huff has a shallow ice cube. He needs a refill.” Huff (to a group of men): “Hey waitress, which one of you bitches is gonna bring me my drink?” Bubba: “Tell ‘em what you want, Aubrey!” Huff: “Vodka and red bull. Vodka and cranberry. No, no. Make it vodka and red bull! Make it happen! Half and half!” Bubba: “Looks like I’m driving Aubrey home! Huff: “I’ll get the wife to pick me up. The wife will pick me up!” Bubba: “The wife will pick you up? ‘Honey, I’m down here at a bar/studio and I’m fucked off and there’s a porn star down here. Come the hell down here and get me!’” Huff: “Orrr..I can take the cab down to the Dollhouse. It’s all good!” Bubba: (as Huff’s wife) “’Wait I’ll come get you. It’s only five minutes away you fucking drunken bastard.’ Holy shit, what’s going on here?” Bubba: “Aubrey Huff of the Baltimore Orioles in here with us. He’s from Tampa. Well, he lives in Tampa part time and he’s a good friend of the show. And he’s drunk. And he’s taking off his shirt and he’s already tried to flex. Huff: “First of all, I’m not drunk. This is just my personality, motherfucker!” Bubba (without breaking stride): “And this is Melissa Midwest…” ************ After a commercial break: Bubba: “No Aubrey, here’s the deal: you’re outside drunk, smoking a cigarette and you’re telling the guys out there that you love this, that this is awesome and you could do this (a radio show) with EASE every day.” Bubba then turns off all microphones in the studio and attempts to make Huff eat his words by interviewing Melissa Midwest with no professional DJ help. Bubba: “The host, which is now, you, has to creatively get her on that canvas to do boob, ass or snatch art for us. (There is an easel and paint in the foreground). So, ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, your new host, Baltimore Orioles designated hitter Aubrey Huff!” Huff is immediately flustered and says: “This is very intimidating. This is worse than being up in the bottom of the ninth with the bases loaded trying to drive in a run to win the game. This is pressure packed!” He then starts to feebly attempt to convince Melissa Midwest to do body art. He crashes down within 30 seconds with dead air and Bubba starts making fun of him for his poor radio interviewing skills. Huff begs Bubba to “help me out, please help me out!” Bubba: “You know that fat fuck up in row 900, that says: “(country voice) I’d get up there and knock that motherfucker outta the park and I used to do that in tee ball!” That guy! Huff: “I’m that guy now?” Bubba: “You’re that guy!”

Benjamin Grimm Nov 15 2007 05:39 PM

I think I learned more than I need to know about Aubrey in that first excerpt.

Rockin' Doc Nov 15 2007 06:01 PM

All these years and I never knew that our very own Bubba Sponge was a radio personality.