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Parody Contest: Mark Clark Battle (Soup v. Lunchbucket)

Whose Clark bar is tastiest?

Soupcan	12 votes
Lunchbucket	6 votes

John Cougar Lunchbucket Feb 29 2008 09:18 AM

What is this the quarterfinals?

soupcan Feb 29 2008 09:25 AM

Semis I believe. [url=http://www.lyricsondemand.com/onehitwonders/achybreakyheartlyrics.html]Lyrics[/url] [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EebObs-vC0]Video[/url] Marky-Marky Clark (as sung to Steve Phillips) You can tell the fans that he was not the man You can burn the records from those years And you can tell the team what kind of fools us fans have been We’ll laugh and joke about it through our tears You can say his arm was not one to build upon You said ‘don’t get fond of fifty four’ And you can tell my son, this guy wasn’t the one And we won't be cheering for him no more You didn't tell Mark Clark, poor Marky-Marky Clark He would not have took it sitting down And if you told Mark Clark, poor Marky-Marky Clark He sure would have not gone to Chi-Town Ooooooh You say ninety-six was better for the Knicks But I don’t think that fourth place was so bad We got rid of Green, Bobby V. came on the scene Clark would’ve been the second best he had. Oh spin it ev’ry way, ‘How great was McRae?’ ’We also got Turk Wendall in that deal’ If we’d kept fifty four, no Rojas through the door Because of Mel, the Cubbies got a steal You traded Mark Clark poor Marky-Marky Clark He went 6 and 1 down the stretch If you hadn’t traded Clark, poor Marky-Marky Clark In that case I would not be here to kvetch Ooooooh I still pine for Mark Clark poor Marky-Marky Clark I just don't think you understood That when you traded Clark, poor Marky-Marky Clark He was act-u-ally pretty good Ooooooh Why did you did you trade Clark? Poor Marky-Marky Clark Rojas still a painful mem’ry Ooooooh You should not have traded Clark, poor Marky-Marky Clark I knew he’d be good in my bones. But you went and traded Clark, poor Marky-Marky Clark And then you didn’t re-sign Bobby Jones. Ooooooh

John Cougar Lunchbucket Feb 29 2008 09:33 AM

Seaver Fever Nonacheiver In a classic Met cap In ninety-six he Adequately Led the pitching attack But wins could never amount To more than fourteen Or in games when they count Take this stinking ball and throw it home It's Mark Clark time There's no pennant race, behold your ace His name it rhymes Throwing slowly, Cleveland acquiree And we can't send him back Tall and dorky, big ass, goatee Fifty-four on his back We have suffered enough You got average stuff It's time that you won Take this stinking ball and throw it home Mark Clark is on Mediocre game your rhyming name Recalls Don Hahn Take this stinking ball and throw it home It's Mark Clark time Soak your sore right arm avoid the farm You're traded now Throwing slowly is the memory of Mark Clark time Lyrics here: [url]http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/once/fallingslowly.htm[/url]

sharpie Feb 29 2008 09:52 AM

Both parodies invoke his uni number.

seawolf17 Feb 29 2008 10:06 AM

How Oscar-winning.

sharpie Feb 29 2008 10:25 AM

Somebody should slap a sticky on this.

Willets Point Feb 29 2008 10:32 AM

="sharpie"]Somebody should slap a sticky on this. OK.

Willets Point Feb 29 2008 10:43 AM

Looks like an upset of the #1 seed by a #12 seed is in process.

Valadius Feb 29 2008 10:59 AM

I voted for Bucket. Sorry, soupy, but I can't in good conscience vote for a Billy Ray Cyrus song, seeing as how his daughter is exploited by the Disney Channel like so many people before her.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Mar 01 2008 11:02 AM

I congratulate my worthy opponent and attribute this humiliating defeat to the long layoff between contests, and I apologize to you listeners at home for hastily composing a weak parody the night before the contest when I had six weeks to do it and for blatantly trying to ride the Oscar buzz, and for ruining Glen Hansard's nice song.

seawolf17 Mar 01 2008 11:21 AM

Seems like every battle has been a blowout or a tie. Odd.

themetfairy Mar 01 2008 01:13 PM

The score doesn't always reflect the quality of the competition. They've all been top notch submissions, IMO.

AG/DC Mar 01 2008 02:09 PM

Very close. I threw it to 'Bucket on the ambitiousness of his selection. He oft chooses word-poor songs, which limits the number of themes he can work into a song.

soupcan Mar 01 2008 04:18 PM

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: I congratulate my worthy opponent and attribute this humiliating defeat to the long layoff between contests, and I apologize to you listeners at home for hastily composing a weak parody the night before the contest when I had six weeks to do it and for blatantly trying to ride the Oscar buzz, and for ruining Glen Hansard's nice song. I accept your backhanded compliment.

metirish Mar 01 2008 05:15 PM

Good job by both, Val it's a parody song contest not a vote for the next Disney President.

MFS62 Mar 02 2008 07:33 AM

themetfairy wrote: The score doesn't always reflect the quality of the competition. Yep. Later

John Cougar Lunchbucket Mar 02 2008 09:13 AM

soupcan wrote: I accept your backhanded compliment. Yeah well, I didn't really mean it.

soupcan Mar 02 2008 10:15 AM

Too late - already accepted it!

John Cougar Lunchbucket Mar 02 2008 10:37 AM

Bastard!

MFS62 Mar 02 2008 02:09 PM

Glad to see some of the CPF-ers are using Spring Training to round into mid-season form. :) Later

Willets Point Mar 03 2008 02:26 PM

I wonder why Grover isn't on the scene to interview Lunchbucket and/or soup.

Grover Mar 04 2008 07:52 AM

So, Soupy. You've beaten the defending champ... decisevely. Yes, decisevely. Did you imagine this moment when the contest began?

soupcan Mar 04 2008 11:58 AM

Hi Grover and thanks. Did I imagine this moment? No not all. I never did think that the great champ would fall. Johnny's a legend, so hard to beat. I thought, if I can just make the votes close, that'd be neat. He's a writer, he's funny, knows so much 'bout the Mets. I sell insurance and have mild Tourettes. Each year in this contest I enter for fun. Never do I think that it can be won. This is the first year I made it past the first round. Now I have a chance to be the 'Pool's Ezra Pound. I know that next step against Monk won't be easy. In fact, that prospect is making me queasy.

metirish Mar 04 2008 12:02 PM

That might be some of your best work right there.

AG/DC Mar 04 2008 12:05 PM

Grover's got a meeting... to be continued.

Grover Mar 04 2008 01:36 PM

Thank you for your extended answer, Soup. You've covered many of the questions I'd have perhaps asked. But who knows, really? Here's a double. Did you fear that your achey-brakey song selection, while catchy-wetchy, was also cloying-annoying, and would lose votes based on a leftover 15-year-old animus from the songs 1992 relaease? Do you think you are the candidate of change, riding this whole changey-mangey wave?

soupcan Mar 04 2008 07:00 PM

Excellent questions Grover (and funny too)! I was having second thoughts about that song, but my other choice was Toto's 'Africa', so I didn't think about it too long. 'Achy's not so bad, it's a song people know. Hey, one year I used the Beach Boys 'Kokomo'. Candidate of Change? Well that's a bit much. I've just been lucky with song choices and such.

cooby Mar 04 2008 07:23 PM

Remember, this is the same person that gave us "skis and bikes are things I likes"

Grover Mar 04 2008 08:12 PM

Bucket swings in with the recent Oscar-winning song, going against forumula by choosing a tender vulnerable ballad? Do you have a formula? Would the defending champ have been more intimidating had he stayed a Dickshot? What was the line that made you know you had a winner? Please.

soupcan Mar 05 2008 07:38 AM

Again great questions Grove. ]Do you have a formula? I like to use songs that most people know, makes it easier for them and the words tend to flow. ]Would the defending champ have been more intimidating had he stayed a Dickshot? I don't think his handle would have changed the tally, however it was 'Dickshot' last year who was in the finale. ]What was the line that made you know you had a winner? Believe it or not I didn't care for my song, it was gimmicky, stupid and that mullet was wrong. There wasn't really one line that stands out for me. I guess the one about Phillips not signing Bob-by (Jones).

Grover Mar 05 2008 07:48 AM

Answers, yay!!!!!!!!!!! A few more please. AHEM! Sharpie continually comes on strong, but goes down in the semi-finals. This time getting taken out by Poison when he was swinging with Joe Jackson. Is sharpie's the most disappointing career of our era? Transmonk --- a professonal songwriter coming at you in the finals. Surely you shake and tremble, no? Our final subject is 1983 --- not a subject so much as a file folder full of subjects. Bambi's Bandits steal games in the late innings, Tom Seaver Returns to Flushing, and Jesse Orosco has a season for the ages. I won't ask you to tell me what angle you're using, but who is your favorite 1983 Met? I'm guessing Gary Rajsich. If I recall correctly, you were pledging Phi Rho Pi, blowing up cars, and swmming with alligators in 1983. Lastly, this must be really big for you. Is your wife excited? The little cans? The neighbors? I bet they're thrilled. Thank you for your time! YAY!!!

soupcan Mar 05 2008 08:21 AM

]Is sharpie's the most disappointing career of our era? Sharpie is great, this competition is chance. Perhaps if the contest included some dance? ]Transmonk --- a professonal songwriter coming at you in the finals. Surely you shake and tremble, no? I do, I do, to say the least! At writing a song, Monkey Man is a beast. ]I won't ask you to tell me what angle you're using, but who is your favorite 1983 Met? I'm guessing Gary Rajsich. No, it wasn't Rajsich I was most fond of. Straw was the guy that got all my love. ]Lastly, this must be really big for you. Is your wife excited? The little cans? The neighbors? I bet they're thrilled. The wife and the kids? If they knew they'd be proud. But this place is my secret, never spoken out loud. The neighbors? The Douchebags? The ones with the rink? Who gives a flying fuck what those assholes think? Thanks Grove, have a great day say hi to Mr. Hooper.

Grover Mar 05 2008 08:27 AM

Bert is going to kill me if I leave that in, but it's just so good.