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Anal Fissures, Twisted Testicles and other injuries

seawolf17 Mar 21 2008 11:12 AM

[url=http://sports.aol.com/fanhouse/2008/03/11/kaz-matsuis-official-diagnosis-anal-fissures]OUCH[/url]. ]The other day, Lackey covered Kaz Matsui's "ongoing problem with hemorrhoids," which, on the scale of unnecessary disclosures, ranks somewhere up there with the details of a soon-to-be-former New York governor's paid-sex preferences. The hemorrhoids were bad enough. So let's take it a step further! Today the Houston Chronicle (via BBTF) informs that Matsui is expected to miss four or five days with a condition known as "anal fissure." Yes, that's every bit as bad as it sounds: An anal fissure is an unnatural crack or tear in the anus skin. As a fissure, these tiny tears may show as bright red rectal bleeding and cause severe periodic pain after defecation. [...] Most anal fissures are caused by stretching of the anal mucosa beyond its capability. Various causes of this fissure include: * Straining to defecate, especially if the stool is hard and dry * Severe and chronic constipation * Severe and chronic diarrhea * Crohn's disease and Ulcerative colitis * Tight sphincter muscles * Anal intercourse On three: OW. Poor Kaz. This is almost worse than Felix Pie's twisted testicle. Almost. I don't know if we had a post on poor [url=http://sports.aol.com/fanhouse/2008/03/10/felix-pies-life-sucks/]Felix Pie[/url] and his twisted testicle either, so we'll throw him in this post as well.

metirish Mar 21 2008 11:34 AM

Both sound sore and what happened to Pie makes me cringe.

Frayed Knot Mar 21 2008 12:14 PM

Then there was the one just before ST where Astro OFer Hunter Pence walked into a glass door naked (or virtually so) and cut himself all up, although fortunately nowhere ... umm, vital. At least he didn't fare as bad as that ABBA drummer did.

Triple Dee Mar 22 2008 02:29 AM

I can't believe Felix Pie is listed to miss only 3-5 days. I was a victim of the same injury (from playing basketball) and had Felix Pie surgery. I was sidelined for a month. In case anybody is wondering -- yes, it's that painful!