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Beware the slow moving Pope.

holychicken Apr 21 2008 08:39 AM

The pope and I have always been on good terms. He ignores me, I ignore him and we are both happy. We have both always just gone our separate ways. But Friday, he just pushed me too hard. Friday, he declared war: He made me late to dinner. Driving up 3rd Avenue to go to my gf's parents apartment to drop off our dog all of a sudden the traffic just stops moving. After 15 minutes of sitting around doing nothing with a bunch of angry NYers beeping their horns foolishly assuming that might actually help, I decide to get out of the car and walk up to see what is going on. I finally get up two blocks and there are cop cars everywhere completely blocking it. I cautiously approach an officer who is standing in the middle of 87th and 3rd. "Excuse me, sir, but am I allowed to ask what is going on here?" We all know we have to be careful what you ask cops about 'round these parts lest they beat you and send you to Gitmo. "Pope's movin'. You are going to get run over" Sure enough, I was standing in the path of a paddy wagon. I jumped out of the way. "I KNEW it was that damn Pope. Any idea how long?" "Honestly? No idea. could be 5, 10, 15 minutes." It was 15. So I went to the sushi place to use the bathroom and went back to the car. "It's the pope, isn't it?" my gf asked. "Yup. Damn pope. This is a sign from God that we should not be hanging out with the homosexuals tonight." And that is my pointless story from Friday. The lesson we learned? Takes the pope a LONG freakin time to move somewhere.

Farmer Ted Apr 21 2008 10:19 AM

Nearly got run over by the Dick Cheyney entourage in DC last September. He was leaving the WH on his way to a speech at the Mayflower (insert Spitzer joke here). Ask Edge, they don't fool around with those motorcades down there as one cop yelled to a tourist near me..."get your ass on the curb NOW!" Followed by..."Thank you for cooperating, sir." The secret service had me at hello when I saw the semi automatic rifles pointed curbside out of the black SUVs.

sharpie Apr 21 2008 01:36 PM

In the early '80's in San Francisco I was on a bus on the way to work when they announced that we all had to get off because the route was closed. Turned out Queen Elizabeth's motorcade was coming through. I saw her give that Queen wave. In the late '90's I was trapped on Broadway between 46th and 47th because Bill Clinton and Al Gore's motorcade was coming through. There was a woman who wanted to get to a hotel across the street (not cutting through the motorcade) because she needed to get her suitcase so that she could leave for the airport for her flight to Indonesia. Cop wouldn't let her go.

Benjamin Grimm Apr 21 2008 01:45 PM

Peter the Great used to travel through Russia incognito. People he met often had no idea they were face to face with the Tsar. The President of the United States should do the same. He could walk down the street with funny glasses, mustache and wig, inconveniencing no one. When he gets to wherever he's going, he ducks into a phone booth, removes the disguise (and surreptitiously hands it to a Secret Service agent; he'll need it again later) and does his Presidenting. Win-win for everybody!

AG/DC Apr 21 2008 02:06 PM Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Apr 21 2008 02:25 PM

As president, i'm walking everywhere and inconviencing nobody. Go ahead and shoot me. If they strike me down, I shall become more powerful than they can possibly imagine.

Willets Point Apr 21 2008 02:21 PM

Abraham Lincoln allowed people to wander into the White House and chat with him and was pretty open to people when in public too. Of course, things didn't end well for him.

AG/DC Apr 21 2008 02:25 PM

But he became more powerful than they could possibly imagine, didn't he?

Willets Point Apr 21 2008 02:29 PM

AG/DC wrote: But he became more powerful than they could possibly imagine, didn't he? Undoubtedly.

Benjamin Grimm Apr 21 2008 02:32 PM

Posthumous power doesn't really float my boat. I'd rather be alive and obscure than dead and powerful. And did James Garfield become unimaginably powerful? Did William McKinley?

Farmer Ted Apr 21 2008 02:44 PM

Briefly heard something about the Pope as part of some news program last night (honestly, I think wifey was watching Geraldo). In any case, an expert on all-things-pope said this one sneaks out the Vatican all the time to meet with friends in Rome.

AG/DC Apr 21 2008 02:49 PM

Benjamin Grimm wrote: Posthumous power doesn't really float my boat. I'd rather be alive and obscure than dead and powerful. And did James Garfield become unimaginably powerful? Did William McKinley? They didn't have the cause that Lincoln did. We're all doomed anyway. Presidential martyrs gain a lot of momentum toward completing their agenda.

Benjamin Grimm Apr 21 2008 03:15 PM

I see your point. But in order to become that martyr you have to have a fair amount of political capital and/or charisma. Lincoln and Kennedy did. Garfield and McKinley didn't. Would President Edgy be eligible for martyrdom? Maybe. Maybe not.

HahnSolo Apr 21 2008 03:17 PM

Benjamin Grimm wrote: Peter the Great used to travel through Russia incognito. People he met often had no idea they were face to face with the Tsar. The President of the United States should do the same. He could walk down the street with funny glasses, mustache and wig, inconveniencing no one. When he gets to wherever he's going, he ducks into a phone booth, removes the disguise (and surreptitiously hands it to a Secret Service agent; he'll need it again later) and does his Presidenting. Win-win for everybody! I read a novel recently where the president did this. Though he was doing it to get away from evildoers within his administration. He snuck out of his hotel through air vents, then ditched his glasses. Somehow people didn't recognize him. Edit: it was The Machiavelli Covenant, by Allan Folsom. Don't take this as a recommendation.

DocTee Apr 21 2008 03:30 PM

]Peter the Great used to travel through Russia incognito. People he met often had no idea they were face to face with the Tsar. Not many people would be face-to-face with him, since he stood nearly seven feet tall. Hard to hide that.

SteveJRogers Apr 21 2008 07:27 PM

Well Garfield does have the honor of being considered Johnny Cash's favorite President, Cash even went and wrote this song about Garfield's assassination: Mr Garfield been shot down shot down shot down Mr Garfield been shot down low Me and my brother was down close to the depot when I heard the report of a pistol My brother run out and come back in all excited And I said what was it and he said it was the report of a pistol and then he said Mr Garfield been shot down shot down shot down Mr Garfield been shot down low Lord I knew the President was supposed to be at the depot that day And we just would't believe that he's shot But we'd run over there and there was so many folks around That we couldn't see him but some lady was standin' there cryin' And I said m'am what was it that happened m'am and she said Mr Garfield been shot down shot down shot down Mr Garfield been shot down low Well everybody drifted off toward home finally And they looked like they felt about as bad as I did But in a few weeks I heard that the President was still alive And I told my brother I said let's get on that train and go to where he's laid up hurt Well when we got to his big house up there I asked the fellow I said who was it that did it who was it that shoot the President And he said it was Charlie Guiteau that shoot Mr Garfield and I said Charlie Guiteau done shot down a good man good man Charlie Guiteau done shot down a good man low I heard some fellow there that had been in the house to see the President And I sidled up him to listen to what he was tellin' and he said Mrs Lucretia Garfield was always at his side In the heat of the day fannin' him when he was hot He said that just that day the President said to Mrs Lucretia He said Crete honey (he called her Crete) Said if somethin' worse happens to me after awhile you get yourself a good man And Mrs Lucretia said James (she called him James) She said I won't hear to that now she said I love you too much but he said You'll make some good man a good wife good wife You'll make some man a good good good wife (Don't pull in single harness all your life good gal Don't pull in single harness all your life) That's what he said don't pull in single harness all your life Well a few days later I come back to where the President was restin' And it seems everybody was cryin' The flag was hangin' halfway up to the flagpole in front of the house And everybody looked so sad and I asked a soldier boy there And I said is is is Mr Garfield and he said yeah he's gone Gonna lay him in that cold lonesome ground down low Gonna lay him in that cold lonesome ground Well they laid the President by that long cold branch Mr Garfield's been laid down low Mr Garfield has been shot dow Mr Garfield's been shot (Mr Garfield been shot down shot down shot down Mr Garfield been shot down low)

TheOldMole Apr 22 2008 07:23 AM

McKinley inspired a song, too: Zolgotz, cruel man He shot poor McKinley with a handkerchief on his hand In Buffalo, in Buffalo Zolgotz, you done him wrong You shot poor McKinley when he was walkin' along In Buffalo, in Buffalo The pistol fired then McKinley he did fall The doctor says "McKinley, I can't find the ball" In Buffalo, in Buffalo They sent for the doctor, the doctor come He come in a-chargin', he come in a-runnin' In Buffalo, in Buffalo He saddled his horse and he swung on his rein And he trotted the horse till he outrun the train To Buffalo, to Buffalo Forty-four boxes all trimmed in braid A sixteen-wheeled driver, boys, it couldn't make the grade To Buffalo, to Buffalo Forty-four boxes trimmed in lace Take him back to the baggage, boys, where I can't see his face In Buffalo, in Buffalo Mrs. Mckinley took a trip, and she took it out west Where she couldn't hear the people talk about McKinley's death In Buffalo, in Buffalo The engine whistled down the line A-blowing every station - McKinley was a-dying In Buffalo, in Buffalo Seventeen coaches all trimmed in black Took McKinley to the graveyard but never brought him back To Buffalo, to Buffalo Seventeen coaches all trimmed in black Took Roosevelt to the White House but never brought him back To Buffalo, to Buffalo SPOKEN: That was Theodore Roosevelt (Alternate version) McKinley he hollered, McKinley he squalled The doctor said "McKinley, I can't find that ball" From Buffalo to Washington Roosevelt in the White House, he's doin' his best McKinley in the graveyard, he's takin' his rest He's gone a long old time Hush up little children, now don't you fret You'll draw a pension at your papa's death From Buffalo to Washington Roosevelt in the White House, drinkin' out of a silver cup McKinley in the graveyard, he never wakes up He's gone a long, long time Ain't but the one thing that grieves my mind That is to die and leave my poor wife behind I'm gone a long old time Standing at the station, just lookin' at the time See by it you're running by half-past nine From Buffalo to Washington Pay in the train, she's just on time She'll run a thousand miles from eight o'clock till nine From Buffalo to Washington Yonder comes the train, she's comin' down the line Throwin' them a station message, McKinley's a-dyin' It's hard times, hard times Look a-here, you rascal, you see what you've done You shot my husband with that Ivor Johnstone gun Carry him back to Washington The doc told the horse, he tore down the rein Said to that horse, "You've got to outrun this train From Buffalo to Washington" Doctor came a-running, taked off his specs Said "Mr. McKinley, better cash in your checks You're bound to die, bound to die"

TheOldMole Apr 22 2008 07:26 AM

AG/DC Apr 22 2008 07:37 AM

See? I wonder if anybody would be preserving ballads about these presidents if they lived out their terms.

Benjamin Grimm Apr 22 2008 07:42 AM

Off the top of my head I can list dozens of songs about Chester A. Arthur and Rutherford B. Hayes.

AG/DC Apr 22 2008 07:49 AM Edited 2 time(s), most recently on Apr 22 2008 08:20 AM

Oh sure, there's "Purple Hayes"; "Hayesy Shade of Winter"; "Fifteen Men on a Dead Man's Chester"; and "How Great Thou Arthur!" The airwaves are teeming with them.

TheOldMole Apr 22 2008 08:14 AM

My grandmother, a rock-ribbed Republican, sang me a campaign song she had made up as a little girl for the Hayes campaign. It went, in its entirety: Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah, for the red white and blue, Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah, for Hayes and Wheeler too. This is not exactly on the level of Johnny Cash's Garfield song, but she was one of the few people left -- at that time, which would be the 50s -- who remembered the name of Hayes's vice president.

TheOldMole Apr 22 2008 08:22 AM

My Grandma wasn't the only one writing campaign songs at the time, it turns out. According to the [url=http://www.juntosociety.com/vp/wwheeler.html]Wheeler web site[/url], during the campaign a song was written "We'll go for Hayes, We'll Wheeler in on time". And a cartoon was published showing the vice presidential candidate with Hayes in a wheelbarrow going to the White House. Hayes, for his part, when told that Wheeler was going to be his VP candidate, asked his wife, "Who is William Wheeler?"

soupcan Apr 22 2008 08:33 AM

Hayes / Wheeler. Excellent crossword puzzle info.

Fman99 Apr 23 2008 06:52 AM

HahnSolo wrote: ="Benjamin Grimm"]Peter the Great used to travel through Russia incognito. People he met often had no idea they were face to face with the Tsar. The President of the United States should do the same. He could walk down the street with funny glasses, mustache and wig, inconveniencing no one. When he gets to wherever he's going, he ducks into a phone booth, removes the disguise (and surreptitiously hands it to a Secret Service agent; he'll need it again later) and does his Presidenting. Win-win for everybody! I read a novel recently where the president did this. Though he was doing it to get away from evildoers within his administration. He snuck out of his hotel through air vents, then ditched his glasses. Somehow people didn't recognize him. Edit: it was The Machiavelli Covenant, by Allan Folsom. Don't take this as a recommendation. It didn't work out well for Francis X. Kennedy in Puzo's "The Fourth K." An underrated book, actually.