Aug 16 2005 02:17 PM
Edited 5 time(s), most recently on Aug 16 2005 05:03 PM
I’m sorry I wasn’t able to tell you more about the Dodgers. Let me see if I can edify your Pirate appetite. The original knowledge of the Pirates can be found here. Know it. Live it.
Your Pittsburgh Pirates stand at 51-67, 23 weeping games behind the St. Louis Cardinals and 13 games off the Houston Astros wild card pace. They have not had a winning season since 1992, when their manager was Jim Leyland and they won the division with the following lineup:
| Jason Bay robs Ramon Castro of extra bases in the opener of the Mets/Pirates series in Pittsburgh in July. Sociopathic young fans Jimbo, Kearney, and Dolph look on. |
1b: Orlando Merced
2b: Jose Lind
3b: Steve Buechele
ss: Jay Bell
of: Andy Van Slyke
of: Barry Bonds
of: Cecil Espy
Pitching for the team were guys like Doug Drabeck and Zane Smith. At the back of the rotation was a goofy rookie named Tim Wakefield, going 8-2, 2.13 in 13 starts.
This is not team the Mets are going to face this week. But… the Pirates are (dialing up clichés.com…) a young, hungry, aggressive team that can surprise you. Now, you all know that, but the little tudballs spent their last two games shutting out Houston (a 1-0 battle won by Kip Wells over Roger Clemens, topped off by an 8-0 shellacking behind Dave Williams), a gift the other wildcard hopefuls must surely appreciate.
The good news is that puts two good pitching performances behind them. The guys looking to carry on the Bucco’s 18-inning scoreless streak include
Mark Redman, (5-12, 4.75), today vs. Kris Benson
Redman is a lefty and therefore Piazza- and Wright-vulnerable. He hasn’t won on the road since April 12th.Josh Fogg, (6-7, 4.94), mañana, vs. Tom Glavine
Pirates manager Lloyd McClendon recently said, "We're trying to develop players at this level. At the same time, we're trying to win games. It's an extremely difficult thing to do. We're trying to balance it. Every day is a new experience for these young players. But every day that they can get is going to help their progress next year."
Kris Benson recently said, "Maybe he'll finally be fired before that," referring to McClendon and this series. This could be some bulletin board material or a prelude to a beaning. It could also be a prelude to an actual dismissal of McClendon, I don’t know.
Phineas Phogg has two wins in his last 13 starts, and one of them was his last time out when his team went out against Colorado and got six runs in the first inning. He’s a sinkerballer who has given up 13 homers in his last ten starts.Zach Duke, LHP (5-0, 2.13), Thursday, vs. Victor Zambrano
Glavine is doing his best Bret Saberhagen imitation these days, and hasn’t walked a batter in 22 innings, and has walked only three over his last five starts and 35 innings. He’s got a 3.07 ERA over his last six starts, and if either Beltran or Cameron pulled up (or both), we’d possibly be talking more about how well he’s doing. I’m counting nine remaining starts for him, which to my Edgymath means he has to stay healthy and average about 6.81 innings per outing to automatically vest the option year in his contract — still not a sure thing.
Before Ridiculous Hypothetical III comes up, yes, I’m rooting for him.
Duke is making his second attempt to become the first Pirate pitcher in history to start his career off 6-0. He got hit in his last start against Houston (four runs in four innings), but the Bucs rallied against Roy Oswalt to get him off the hook. (Correction here: the team still lost.) He is from Clifton, TX, but perhaps has cousins in Hazzard County, GA.The Pirate lineup:
Zambrano did a great job pitching in the game referenced above. We’ve stopped tabulating, but that may be the second worst loss of the year. Due largely to him throwing batting practice against Milwaukee three starts back, his ERA has for the first time this season fallen below that of Scott Kazmir.
C: Humberto Cota: .240 / .283 / .395 // .676
Hits like a catcher. Power but low OBP.
1b: Brad Eldredd .254 / .284 / .492 // .786 in 17 games
He’s being eased in over Daryle Ward, who gets the thankless task of the assignments McClendon doesn’t want Eldred to see. Ward can still hit some and certainly will be seen this series. In fact, the Mets could use him.
2b: Jose “Don’t Call Me Luis” Castillo: .272 /.315 / .422 // .737
Castillo is a converted shortstop who has found his power stroke this year. He’s hot, going 12 for his last 30 with four walks and two homers.
3b: Rob Mackowiak: .268 /.342 / .409 // .751
Mack is a young place-holding vet, replacing the younger place-holding vet, Ty Wigginton.
lf: Jason Bay: .305 / .395 / .564 // .959
Bay may have embarrassed Canada in the All-Star homer derby, but (a) who cares? and (b) who cares? Bay was yesterday honored with the National League Player of the Week Award, after batting .440 (11-for-25) with eight runs scored and eight more driven in.
He was the main reason the Bucs won back-to-back road series for the first time since mid-May. Well, him and the Rockies being relatively awful.
cf: Tike Redman (.253 / .290 / .347 // .637) appears to be making way for a new cat named Chris Duffy, who in his first 29 games has gone .371 / .398 / .472 // .870.
Duffy seems to be stealing from Wigginton the role of hard-nosed myth-making working-class self-destructive white guy. Not yet 30 games into his career, he’s already gotten himself a tweaked hamstring and a dehydration emergency
rf: Michael Restovich: .250 /.317 / .413 // .730
Restovich is a pudgy guy who made a big run saving grab against the Mets while wearing the Pittsburgh Crawfords uniform on Negro League Day.Corner outfield backup Nate McLouth (right, perhaps the whitest guy on rather white team) hasn’t done much yet, but Restovich appears to be holding his spot.
The Pirates have no former Mets, which suggests the Mets are, so far, seriously winning the Kristin Benson deal, but some of the bounty from that deal — Wigginton (sluggig .480 in AAA) and Met-property-for-a-minute Jose Bautista (slugging .495 in AA) — could be called up any minute. Jason Bay was also Met property lost in a deal I care not to discuss. Mark Corey and Jorge Velandia also toil for the AAA Indianapolis Indians.
Pirate kin of former Mets includes Tike Redman, Prentice’s brother (but not pitcher Mark Redman), and possibly AAA slugging phenomenon Graham Koonce, about whom I can find evidence neither for nor against a link to Cal.
Reformed Pirates include Benson and, um, that’s it. Jeff Keppinger was a former Pirate farmhand. Not a lot of mingling between these two teams.
Let’s win.
To close, I can't find Vic Sage's list of top pirate movies, but here's one (lacking a Depp factor, a Bob Hope factor and a Kermit factor) from some guy named "gianttroll" at amazon for Vic to take issue with:
1. Cutthroat Island ~ Geena Davis
2. Nate and Hayes ~ Tommy Lee Jones
3. Captain Blood ~ Errol Flynn
4. The Ice Pirates
5. Treasure Island ~ Wallace Beery
6. Roman Polanski's Pirates ~ Walter Matthau
7. Captain Kidd
8. The Pirate Movie ~ Kristy McNichol
9. The Sea Hawk ~ Errol Flynn
10. Blackbeard the Pirate
11. The Crimson Pirate ~ Burt Lancaster
12. The Pirates of Penzance ~ Kevin Kline
13. The Buccaneer ~ Yul Brynner
14. Swashbuckler ~ Robert Shaw
15. The Black Swan ~ Tyrone Power
16. The Master of Ballantrae
