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Old man, look at my life

AG/DC Aug 18 2008 07:08 AM

Friday, late lunchtime, I'm walking down the street searching for grub. Next door to one of my delis is a tennis/golf shop. Coming from that direction is an oldish gray-haired man holding his new raquet, with a face that's like 24 inches wide (the raquet, not his head). He's short, a little bent over, but with athletic shoulders, and he's staring at this new toy with ferocity. "Damn," he seems to be thinking, "when I get on the court with this motherfucker, I am going to smoke them dead. This, THIS is what's been missing from my game, and now I'm going to rain holy Hell on the bastards at Potomac Raquet and Sport. Man, if my life hadn't taken the turns it did, I could have been one of the greats. THE GREATS!" And I'm smiling to myself at this scene, and how it's playing out in my imagination, and as he gets closer, I recognize the part in his hair, and damned if it wasn't...

sharpie Aug 18 2008 07:29 AM

Neil Young.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Aug 18 2008 07:49 AM

Steve J. Rogers

AG/DC Aug 18 2008 07:50 AM Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Aug 18 2008 08:40 AM

That would be too easy. 'Sides, somehow I don't think Neil would be shorter than I expected (although that's why it's an expectation). Neil's been dealing with illness in recent years. Be strange to see him tearing up the tennis court. Not Steve, neither.

TransMonk Aug 18 2008 08:00 AM

John McEnroe?

metirish Aug 18 2008 08:04 AM

David Souter?

John Cougar Lunchbucket Aug 18 2008 08:14 AM

Pete Rose.

metirish Aug 18 2008 08:19 AM

Willie Randolph?

A Boy Named Seo Aug 18 2008 08:30 AM

Metirish has been cracking me the hell up a lot lately.

AG/DC Aug 18 2008 08:43 AM Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Aug 18 2008 08:59 AM

John McEnroe was one of the greats. David Souter. Wrong, but good guess. Pete Rose. Eh, no. He'd probably come across as suprisingly big, as he was singles hitter in a slugger's body.

Farmer Ted Aug 18 2008 08:56 AM

I'm throwing Newt Gingrich out there.

AG/DC Aug 18 2008 08:58 AM

Farmer Ted wrote: I'm throwing Newt Gingrich out there. Closer. I have seen Newt walking down our block.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Aug 18 2008 09:09 AM

I'm guessing Bill Clinton is taller than you'd think, but...

Farmer Ted Aug 18 2008 09:21 AM

Eliot Spitzer, heading back to the Mayflower? Maybe I'll guess who it couldn't be. Jack Murtha...doesn't look good in Izod. Robert Byrd...lost a little bit too much on the backhand in the last 8 decades. Tough to play in a sheet, too. Larry Craig...only good footwork sideline to sideline.

metirish Aug 18 2008 09:21 AM

I was going to go with Bill but I'll try George H Bush.

AG/DC Aug 18 2008 09:26 AM

Clinton, Bush, these guys can't walk alone. Actually, I'm surprised this guy was alone, but he was. The Mayflower is right around the corner, but Spitzer isn't really old, least not to me. Murtha, I wouldn't recognize. Byrd isn't much for sports these days, I'd guess. Craig, well, no.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Aug 18 2008 09:34 AM

Fred Wilpon!

Farmer Ted Aug 18 2008 09:38 AM

My last guess...Tom Harkin. Only because I remember Andre Aggasi donating cash to one of his campaigns.

AG/DC Aug 18 2008 09:45 AM

Farmer Ted is on the right track. Stick to the GOP, though. I saw this guy once before (he has an office in my building) and think I reported it here.

metirish Aug 18 2008 09:47 AM

Joe Lieberman

AG/DC Aug 18 2008 09:50 AM

Cute.

metirish Aug 18 2008 09:54 AM

John McCain?

AG/DC Aug 18 2008 09:56 AM

Not McCain, but he was also shorter than I expected when I shared an elevator with him.

Farmer Ted Aug 18 2008 09:59 AM

John Sununu.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Aug 18 2008 10:01 AM

Ted Nugent

soupcan Aug 18 2008 10:07 AM

Teddy Roosevelt

AG/DC Aug 18 2008 10:10 AM

Farmer Ted wrote: John Sununu. Getting closer.

Mendoza Line Aug 18 2008 10:14 AM

Mitt Romney.

Fman99 Aug 18 2008 10:15 AM

C. Montgomery Burns

AG/DC Aug 18 2008 10:31 AM

I'm getting the idea that people don't want to guess. Hey, jackweeds, I'm not your straight man.

sharpie Aug 18 2008 10:32 AM

Rudy Giuliani.

Farmer Ted Aug 18 2008 10:35 AM

Jack Kemp

metirish Aug 18 2008 10:36 AM

Mike Duncan - RNC Chairman

AG/DC Aug 18 2008 10:37 AM

Kemp is klose. Kloser than Sunununu.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Aug 18 2008 10:41 AM

Bud Selig

Farmer Ted Aug 18 2008 10:45 AM

Must be a GHWB apppointee or lackey. Dan Fucking Quayle.

Mendoza Line Aug 18 2008 10:51 AM

I think we're starting to run out of retired GOP senators from the Northeast. I'm trying to picture Al D'Amato with a tennis racket, and I just can't do it. But that's my guess, anyway.

metirish Aug 18 2008 10:58 AM

It would help if we knew what building Edgy worked in .

AG/DC Aug 18 2008 11:11 AM

Sununu, Kemp, these guys are closest. Sununu isn't retired. And Kemp wasn't a Senator.

Vic Sage Aug 18 2008 11:20 AM

i'll give you the same answer i give my kids when they want me to guess somebody's name... Melvin Q. Fartblaster! Sounds like a Republican senator to me... as played by Groucho Marx.

AG/DC Aug 18 2008 11:29 AM

"And Kemp wasn't a senator." "Sounds like a senator." Ah forget it. I can't lead a fly to a turd. Republican cabinet secretaries is what they had in common. Donald Rumsfeld is our would-be Sampras.

Farmer Ted Aug 18 2008 11:36 AM

Morgan Fairchild was my next guess.

Rockin' Doc Aug 18 2008 04:25 PM

"Whom I've seen naked!"

MFS62 Aug 18 2008 04:31 PM Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Aug 18 2008 04:51 PM

Edit -oops, missed the answer. Later

Nymr83 Aug 18 2008 04:42 PM

i cannot picture Rumsfeld playing tennis. maybe he needed an expensive racket to sit there and watch tennis while trying to give the appearence that he plays.

Kong76 Aug 18 2008 04:59 PM

I can't picture Rumsfeld wandering around without a body guard or two.

AG/DC Aug 18 2008 05:44 PM

'Zactly. Most people who've spotted him in our 'hood have seen him with an entourage.

Frayed Knot Aug 18 2008 07:17 PM

So he's looking at that racket as his weapon of mass destru ... ah, that's too easy. Quick unrelated tennis recognition story: My father has a cousin who was, in his day, a very good club-level tennis player - spending some time teaching pro down in some S. Carolina resort. So one day he's playing a match at a club in front of a smattering of spectators including some woman who apparently wasn't savvy enough to know the difference between high level tennis and really high level tennis because, during a break, she approaches this red-haired, 5' 9"-ish, left-hander and asks for his autograph. He agrees but when he signs it 'Eddie Giles' she looks disappointed as says; "Oh, you mean you're NOT Rod Lavar?" Maybe he had a cool racket too.

AG/DC Sep 05 2008 10:11 AM

Rode the elevator today with the Rummer, this time escorted by the expected big burly guy. Also notable was his arm in a sling. The tennis thing must not be working out as well as imagined.