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Twenty-Three Skiddoo: José Quintana

Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2023 12:19 pm
by Edgy MD
My name is José Quintana, and myself and my rib are here on a two-year deal to start some games and eat some frames. I'm not the biggest acquisition of the offseason, and I'm not the second-biggest. I'm, in fact, the third-biggest. And if you want more specificity, I'll clarify that I'm in fact the third biggest starting pitcher acquisition.

That may not be much. But don't go overlooking me like just another empty Funyuns bag blowing across the Mets' St. Lucie complex. I matter. I'm kind of the Omar Narváez of the rotation. David Peterson or Tylor Megill (or Blade Tidwell or Calvin Ziegler) may take my job at any point, possibly tomorrow, but rather than definitively rely on the notion that they're ready, the team has brought me in to stave them off as long as possible. Quintana is more or less the Colombian word for "operational redundancy."

But I'm more than that. I'm a tough mofo who brings it from the portside. I'm a person. I'm a person with a cool haircut, a sore rib, more career wins than Jacob deGrom, and seven organizations on my résumé. And I expect to make myself known before the Mets become just another one of those. While reports yesterday say I've been shut down until further notice, that hasn't been confirmed. ZiPS says I've got 1.8 WAR to distribute over 2023 and maybe more in my future.

That's one opinion. Well, actually, it's two. It's three if you count the Funyuns-bag thing, but I don't count that, so we'll call it two opinions.

What's yours?



Re: Twenty-Three Skiddoo: José Quintana

Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2023 2:13 pm
by Johnny Lunchbucket
Will make us miss Taijuan Waker

Re: Twenty-Three Skiddoo: José Quintana

Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2023 3:01 pm
by Benjamin Grimm
I think he'll be better than Carlos Carrasco was in 2021.

Re: Twenty-Three Skiddoo: José Quintana

Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2023 3:22 pm
by A Boy Named Seo
Johnny Lunchbucket wrote: Tue Mar 14, 2023 2:13 pm Will make us miss Taijuan Waker
Already is.

Re: Twenty-Three Skiddoo: José Quintana

Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2023 3:42 pm
by metsmarathon
well, he won't actively make us miss taijuan walker until at least july, as he'll be out until at least then as he recovers from a bone graft on his dang rib.

Re: Twenty-Three Skiddoo: José Quintana

Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2023 3:57 pm
by metirish

As mentioned above

Re: Twenty-Three Skiddoo: José Quintana

Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2023 4:01 pm
by batmagadanleadoff
Double whatever they're claiming. If they're saying July -- see ya in 2024. 24 Skiddoo.

Re: Twenty-Three Skiddoo: José Quintana

Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2023 6:09 pm
by whippoorwill
Will quietly revert to the back of our minds with his hurt rib and the Mets lame ass medical staff

Re: Twenty-Three Skiddoo: José Quintana

Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2023 7:18 pm
by nymr83
The Mets will win the 2023 world series, and Quintana will be the answer to a trivia question many years from now about a 2024 Met who was on the Mets DL and never played for the 2023 champs.