News You Can't Use

[Edgy MD]

Elliot Page, Emma Portner say they are divorcing

I'm gonna need some alone time to process this one.

[LWFS]

This should help with your grieving. One love door closes... another love door opens. (In several months, anyway.)

HALSEY is Pregnant With Her First CHILD!!! (Emphasis theirs)

[whippoorwill]

Elliot Page, Emma Portner say they are divorcing

I'm gonna need some alone time to process this one.

I saw that too.
Who are they?

[Benjamin Grimm]

Elliot Page used to be Ellen Page.

I guess Emma married a girl and found herself married to a man.

[cal sharpie]

Emma was the star of Juno. Not sure where Elliot's career has taken him.

[Frayed Knot]

Anya Joy-Taylor starred in EMMA, although I don't think she is/was married to anyone thus far named in this thread.
And I have no idea who Halsey is.

[Edgy MD]

If the headline hadn't included the pronoun "her," I would have expected Halsey was a musical group.

[Willets Point]

Halsey, who's birth name is Ashley Nicolette Frangipane, is a solo artist. Very popular with young leftist/feminist/LGBTQ folks.

[Frayed Knot]

If the headline hadn't included the pronoun "her," I would have expected Halsey was a musical group.

Or an Admiral.

[MFS62]

If the headline hadn't included the pronoun "her," I would have expected Halsey was a musical group.

Or an Admiral.

That's a lot of Bull.
Later

[Edgy MD]

Ant Anstead Opens Up About Leaving the Home He Shared With Christina Haack

Good. You really want to get ahead of a story like that.

[Edgy MD]

Amanda Kloots recalls struggles during marriage to Nick Cordero: ‘I was not a good wife’

Maybe she'll do better next time with Ant Anstead.

[MFS62]

Jana Kramer says there's 'no shame' in wanting to change your body after getting breast augmentation

Who is Jana Kramer and who shamed her?

Later

[MFS62]

Pelvic Cutouts Are the Risqué Trend Bella Hadid and Kim K Are Already Endorsing

Sounds painful, but it's about fashions.

Later

[Fman99]

Any updates on Brittany Spears, too rich and stupid to manage her own checkbook even after all these years.

[Fman99]

Christina Haack reveals she smoked toad venom that rid her 15 years of anxiety: It 'reset my brain'

Oh thank goodness for that then. No link because it's Fox News and fuck them.

[Edgy MD]

Yeah, in my experience, returning a brain to factory settings is not necessarily a positive.

[Edgy MD]

If you figured the toad venom escapade was the end for Christina Haack, you were sadly mistaken.

Tarek El Moussa Reportedly Blew Up at Christina Haack Comparing Her to Heather Rae Young

It's like, oh, my God, he WENT there!

I really thought I knew what was going on. But I was SO in the dark before Yahoo! News told me where it's really at.

[DocTee]

More toad venom?

At no point in this headline could I guess what the next word would be:

"Spanish porn star Nacho Vidal, who like to advertise his aromatic candles shaped like male genitalia on Twitter, has been arrested on manslaughter charges following a man's death during a mystic ritual in which he inhaled psychedelic toad venom."

[Fman99]

Lana Del Rey announces she’s deactivating all of her social media accounts

But how else will I know what's going on with this person I never heard of before? Oh the horrors.

[Lefty Specialist]

Heather Rae Young: Tarek El Moussa and I Are Not ‘Super Involved’ When Kids Are With Christina Haack

Allergic to toad venom, no doubt. Is he still comparing them?

[whippoorwill]

Lana Del Rey announces she’s deactivating all of her social media accounts

But how else will I know what's going on with this person I never heard of before? Oh the horrors.

Sounds morbid

[Lefty Specialist]

Um, okay.....

Singer Shakira says wild boars in Barcelona attacked her and stole her purse

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/20 ... ira-purse/

[Benjamin Grimm]

She definitely needs to cancel her credit cards. Everyone knows that wild boars love pricey electronics.

[Lefty Specialist]

Crazy Porky! His prices are INSANE!