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Headlines

Posted: Wed Oct 09, 2019 6:30 pm
by Frayed Knot
I think we had a thread of these a while back but it probably got lost in the forum update.



Anyway, from the NYDN comes: LOUISIANA WOMAN ADMITS TO OWNING THE METH FOUND IN HER VAGINA
Which I suppose is more believable than the 'I have no idea know how it got there' excuse.

Re: Headlines

Posted: Wed Oct 09, 2019 7:21 pm
by MFS62
It'll be tough to top THAT one.
Later

Re: Headlines

Posted: Wed Oct 09, 2019 7:31 pm
by batmagadanleadoff
MFS62 wrote: Wed Oct 09, 2019 7:21 pm It'll be tough to top THAT one.
Later
Maybe, but I'll try:

LOUISIANA WOMAN ADMITS TO OWNING THE VAGINA FOUND IN HER METH.

Re: Headlines

Posted: Wed Oct 09, 2019 7:47 pm
by MFS62
batmagadanleadoff wrote: Wed Oct 09, 2019 7:31 pm LOUISIANA WOMAN ADMITS TO OWNING THE VAGINA FOUND IN HER METH.
We're waiting breathlessly to see the baseball card you'll design for that one.
But the forces of decency would shut this place down if you tried.
Later

Re: Headlines

Posted: Wed Oct 09, 2019 10:17 pm
by Double Switch
MFS62 wrote: Wed Oct 09, 2019 7:47 pm
batmagadanleadoff wrote: Wed Oct 09, 2019 7:31 pm LOUISIANA WOMAN ADMITS TO OWNING THE VAGINA FOUND IN HER METH.
Later
I gotta ask: what does "Later" actually mean and why do you keep writing it? Wouldn't once be enough? Beating people over the head with constant "Later"s seems overkill.

As for vaginas, it's a mystery just what and how much can be hidden there.

Re: Headlines

Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2019 7:39 am
by MFS62
Double Switch wrote: Wed Oct 09, 2019 10:17 pm I gotta ask: what does "Later" actually mean and why do you keep writing it? Wouldn't once be enough? Beating people over the head with constant "Later"s seems overkill.
As I've posted before, I feel "good-bye" seems final, as though we may never meet again.
"Later" is an optimistic way of saying I hope we will all be well and will meet again. (even electronically)
To me, it needs to be restated each time, more philosophical than anything else. And typing it each time is more important than including it in the signature line that is entered automatically.

Later

Re: Headlines

Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2019 7:49 am
by Lefty Specialist
Image

Re: Headlines

Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2019 11:12 am
by Double Switch
MFS62 wrote: Thu Oct 10, 2019 7:39 am
Double Switch wrote: Wed Oct 09, 2019 10:17 pm I gotta ask: what does "Later" actually mean and why do you keep writing it? Wouldn't once be enough? Beating people over the head with constant "Later"s seems overkill.
As I've posted before, I feel "good-bye" seems final, as though we may never meet again.
"Later" is an optimistic way of saying I hope we will all be well and will meet again. (even electronically)
To me, it needs to be restated each time, more philosophical than anything else. And typing it each time is more important than including it in the signature line that is entered automatically.

Later
Does this count as a baseball superstition?

Re: Headlines

Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2019 9:25 pm
by MFS62
Double Switch wrote: Thu Oct 10, 2019 11:12 am Does this count as a baseball superstition?
No, it has nothing to do with baseball.
And it is not a superstition when you are wishing people well.
It is being nice.
Some folks here have made fun of it before, but I attribute that to being good natured and not being nasty.
Later

Re: Headlines

Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2019 10:06 pm
by kcmets
MFS62 wrote: Thu Oct 10, 2019 9:25 pmSome folks here have made fun of it before
I've said it verbally since the 70's but to end every post here with it is a
a bit OCD or something in my humble opinion. hahaha

Going to Stormville this weekend?

Re: Headlines

Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2019 10:41 pm
by Double Switch
kcmets wrote: Thu Oct 10, 2019 10:06 pm
MFS62 wrote: Thu Oct 10, 2019 9:25 pmSome folks here have made fun of it before
I've said it verbally since the 70's but to end every post here with it is a
a bit OCD or something in my humble opinion. hahaha
I am neither making fun nor being nasty. I genuinely just don't get why you need to do it every time. Here's the thing: I used to watch Monk. That character had masses of fetishes including touching all vertical things - poles, posts, parking meters - and had to do it every time or have anxiety attacks. I watched that show until they replaced that foxy Bitty Schram and her comically slutty outfits with the school marm lady. But I digress. What I mean to say is, to the reader, it's like saying "over" as if it were a radio transmission. And after a while it totally loses meaning. You think you're wishing well but to me it's just a quirk. If you must do it, I will accept that you must and it's your prerogative. If you will accept that it is sort of annoying to read it every time then I will consider the topic closed.

Re: Headlines

Posted: Fri Oct 11, 2019 7:05 am
by MFS62
You got me.
If not fully OCD, let's just say I'm a creature of habit.
But with my recent health issues, please just chalk it up to a hope I will be around to post again.
And I watch Monk re-runs when they are on. But I like both assistants. They are both needed by him in their own unique ways as they helped him deal with his tragedy.

Case, I'm not sure if I'll be at Stormville. But if I go, do you know which space number your friends will have?

Later

Re: Headlines

Posted: Fri Oct 11, 2019 10:12 am
by HahnSolo
All this time I just thought it was part of your signature.

Re: Headlines

Posted: Fri Oct 11, 2019 10:15 am
by Benjamin Grimm
I thought that too, until one time that I noticed it was accidentally typed as "LAter"

Re: Headlines

Posted: Fri Oct 11, 2019 2:04 pm
by Double Switch
Now that this has been thoroughly chewed and swallowed, I'll add that in my humble point of view (imhpov), all comments on an internet chat board take place in constant time. There is only now, no later. But, whatever soothes your soul is certainly not in my own purview to criticize.

Back to the headlines notion: I'd like to submit that previous to Trump, no headline ever started out or needed to start out with "TRUMP LASHES OUT --- (fill in the rest depending upon the day)."

Re: Headlines

Posted: Fri Oct 11, 2019 3:57 pm
by kcmets
MFS62 wrote: Fri Oct 11, 2019 7:05 amYou got me.
If not fully OCD, let's just say I'm a creature of habit.
I think some OCD is generally required to post here every day.
MFS62 wrote: Fri Oct 11, 2019 7:05 amCase, I'm not sure if I'll be at Stormville. But if I go, do you know which space number your friends will have?
I don't know and cant recall if it's a 'runway' weekend or the 'spread out' one
Columbus Day Weekend but we'll just wing it if we go tomorrow.

Re: Headlines

Posted: Mon Oct 14, 2019 7:36 pm
by Frayed Knot
Again it's the New York Daily News (once this country's largest circulation daily) supplying the best dirt: NAKED MAN DIES WHILE SMOKING ON HIS QUEENS FRONT PORCH

So many things to consider in this one.
Was this his first time smoking naked on his front porch or his usual habit?
Did the nakedness or the smoking play any factor in the death ... or if both were simply coincidental?
Was the cigarette still lit when he was found?

Re: Headlines

Posted: Mon Oct 14, 2019 8:48 pm
by Double Switch
Frayed Knot wrote: Mon Oct 14, 2019 7:36 pm Again it's the New York Daily News (once this country's largest circulation daily) supplying the best dirt: NAKED MAN DIES WHILE SMOKING ON HIS QUEENS FRONT PORCH

So many things to consider in this one.
Was this his first time smoking naked on his front porch or his usual habit?
Did the nakedness or the smoking play any factor in the death ... or if both were simply coincidental?
Was the cigarette still lit when he was found?
Or was it even a cigarette. Never rule out spontaneous combustion.

Re: Headlines

Posted: Mon Oct 14, 2019 8:56 pm
by kcmets
Double Switch wrote: Mon Oct 14, 2019 8:48 pmOr was it even a cigarette. Never rule out spontaneous combustion.
"Hey Ralph? Mind if I smoke ?”
“I don't care if you burn.”

Re: Headlines

Posted: Mon Oct 14, 2019 8:57 pm
by Double Switch
A-a-a-nd just like that! I ran across a feasible headline nominee. On ABC News:

Polar bear wanders across a baseball field in Manitoba

It's claimed the bear weighs 200 pounds and I want to know who weighed it.

Re: Headlines

Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2019 7:40 pm
by Lefty Specialist
Karma is a pair of sharp antlers.

Deer fatally attacks hunter who shot him

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/deer- ... spartandhp

Re: Headlines

Posted: Fri Oct 25, 2019 8:00 am
by kcmets
TRUMP, RNC BREAKS PRESIENTIAL FUNDRAISING RECORD
$157 Million Cash on Hand Compared to Democrats $8.6M


Yikes!

Re: Headlines

Posted: Fri Oct 25, 2019 9:43 am
by Edgy MD
Frayed Knot wrote: Mon Oct 14, 2019 7:36 pm Again it's the New York Daily News (once this country's largest circulation daily) supplying the best dirt: NAKED MAN DIES WHILE SMOKING ON HIS QUEENS FRONT PORCH

So many things to consider in this one.
Was this his first time smoking naked on his front porch or his usual habit?
Did the nakedness or the smoking play any factor in the death ... or if both were simply coincidental?
Was the cigarette still lit when he was found?
Did he have other front porches in other parts of the city? I'm curious why they thought to list the home borough of the porch but not the man.

Re: Headlines

Posted: Fri Oct 25, 2019 3:55 pm
by Frayed Knot
Maybe all the details weren't yet in, re: his name. But, being that he was smoking naked, at least they immediately knew it was, in fact, a man.

Re: Headlines

Posted: Fri Oct 25, 2019 4:10 pm
by Benjamin Grimm
Well, he wasn't alive so he couldn't really confirm his pronouns, could he?