The Crane Pool Forum

During this year's Tabloid Cover Derby, voters were presented with 279 covers from New York's three tabloids. Because each individual voter has a unique set of criteria used in evaluating the covers, the result in any one poll and of the competition as a whole can be and often is quite unpredictable. With its win last year, the Daily News' GOD OF BLUNDER proved that it is indeed possible for a bad-news cover to emerge as champion. And this year's winner has proven that last year was no fluke. The Daily News has done it again, as MIDNIGHT BADNESS has defeated Newsday's SMILE HIGH by a vote of 13 to 8. It was the first trip to the finals for Newsday, and SMILE HIGH battled in a way that would make Art Howe proud, but the Daily News has now won all four Tabloid Cover Derby titles to date.

2018 CHAMPION COVER
MIDNIGHT BADNESS
New York Daily News, June 3, 2018



Exit polls and anecdotal evidence revealed that, for whatever reason, MIDNIGHT BADNESS was the preferred cover of shirtless fat guys, while SMILE HIGH tended to be the choice of beautiful bikini-clad young women. What this might say about tabloid covers, or society in general, will surely be debated for decades to come.




MIDNIGHT BADNESS was flown this morning on a private jet to Stockholm, Sweden, for the star-studded ceremony which was held in front of Sweden's Parliament Building. The festivities featured Hollywood film star and this years TCD celebrity spokesperson Mario Van Peebles; new Met Robinson Cano, who apparently was under the impression that the ceremony would include a piñata; Sweden's Crown Princess Victoria; 2018's Miss Earth Sweden, 19-year-old Yasmine Michelle Mindru; our own receptionist and Swedish reality-show star Maja; and the ghost of 19th Century singing sensation Jenny Lind, the Swedish Nightingale.





After the ceremony, Maja switched to her business outfit to attend the installation of the winning cover in the lobby of the Kran Pool Forum Internationella Huvudkontoret, the CPF's International Headquarters. Joining Maja in the photo is Juni, the Inappropriately Dressed Intern. Speculation is that she's trying to ride Maja's coattails in the hope of similarly finding TV fame.



The winning cover is also available as a shower curtain, modeled below by Maja's lovely cousin Brigid. You can get a MIDNIGHT BADNESS shower curtain of your own at the CPF Gift Shop. Show your membership card for a 15 per cent discount!



Last year's winner, GOD OF BLUNDER, has joined its predecessors on display at the Royal Academy of Fine Arts in Stockholm, where the three covers are protected around the clock by an armed member of the Swedish Royal Guard.



For appearing on the winning cover, Mets outfielder Michael Conforto will receive a gigantic box of Rice-a-Roni, the San Francisco Treat. To honor his second-place finish, Mets outfielder Brandon Nimmo will receive a copy of the Tabloid Cover Derby Home Game, available for sale wherever deeply unpopular toys and games are sold.





Thank you to everyone who participated in this year's Tabloid Cover Derby!
We'll return for a fifth year of voting in November 2019!





A special thanks to our CPF spokesmodels, Marissa and Shelby (and sometimes Bob) for traveling around the Earth, with a side trip to the Moon, as tireless promoters of the Tabloid Cover Derby.

I anticipated this post more than I did the Fyre Festival. Thank you for the hard work... and by "you", I mean everyone on the TCD staff. I note the excellent reading material in the TCD Lobby but I'm concerned about the bees (that's a beekeeper in the back, right?) and the raccoon (maybe that's common in Stockholm).

Terrific contest and a deserving champion. Thanks the organizers and volunteers!

At least the Post didn't go home with the glory.
I'm heading out to console those two sad supporters of Smile High.
See 'ya,
Later

Nattering nabobs revel today in "negative" News receiving a fair hear hearing and, ultimately, the grandest prize Stockholm has to offer. Over on the TCD boards, there is a bit of clucking over the winning cover being referred to twice in the official release as "MIDNIGHT MADNESS," rather than its proper name of "MIDNIGHT BADNESS," but whaddaya expect from a bunch of Internet jerks obviously holed up in their mother's basement?

Congratulations to direct democracy and all who make it click. There could be hope for the system yet. May the next TCD choose its champion between a World Series-winning front page and some intensely clever pun from June.

People at work are wondering why I'm giggling like a schoolgirl.

Bravo!

Lefty Specialist wrote: ↑Wed Jan 30, 2019 8:53 am People at work are wondering why I'm giggling like a schoolgirl.

Don't you do that all the time?

Later

Polo Grounds for the finalists?

G-Fafif wrote: ↑Wed Jan 30, 2019 8:02 am Over on the TCD boards, there is a bit of clucking over the winning cover being referred to twice in the official release as "MIDNIGHT MADNESS," rather than its proper name of "MIDNIGHT BADNESS," but whaddaya expect from a bunch of Internet jerks obviously holed up in their mother's basement?

Oops! Fixed! That's what happens sometimes when you translate from Swedish.

bmfc1 wrote: ↑Wed Jan 30, 2019 9:33 am Polo Grounds for the finalists?

Yes!

This is incredible work, all around. So proud of our staff.

bmfc1 wrote: ↑Wed Jan 30, 2019 6:57 am I anticipated this post more than I did the Fyre Festival. Thank you for the hard work... and by "you", I mean everyone on the TCD staff. I note the excellent reading material in the TCD Lobby but I'm concerned about the bees (that's a beekeeper in the back, right?) and the raccoon (maybe that's common in Stockholm).

Those are the official CPF beekeepers. We make extra money by selling locally sourced honey. That private jet doesn't pay for itself!

I think the raccoon belongs to Juni.

A couple of things.

*The TCD winning post is always my favorite post of the year. When the contest starts winding down, I find myself looking forward to reading it. Terrific job! May this tradition live forever.

*BG has proven that you can feature Mario Van Peebles and still have a hit. This is no small accomplishment. I feel like everyone is overlooking this.

*Um. Let's go hang out in our lobby.

*I like how the O YEAH banner now kinda seems like the cover is celebrating its own win.

*I like how all of us are thanking the organizers and volunteers like it's a big crew.

*I would guess BG has the most interesting search history of all of us.

*Doesn't the winning cover do a world tour before getting installed in the lobby? Or am I mixing things up.

By the way, all the gossip columns are running with the rumor that Marissa and Shelby were not invited to the ceremony because of intense jealousy from Maja.

I mean, from what I know of Maja I can't imagine that's true, but you may consider a public statement or something.

Brilliantly presented, and the little details in the lobby shot alone are worth the price of the plane ticket to Stockholm. This contest makes the off-season bearable. Kudos to the home office for this effort!

And yet, I'm heartbroken for poor Maja. In a year with an historic pitching season leading to a Cy Young Award, a moving farewell from a legend, the emergence of a homegrown star who radiates positivity, and a fan favorite's penchant for walk-off heroics, Maja has to spend a year under a tabloid cover wallowing in what went wrong rather than celebrating the peaks of brightness.

(Juni, I'm guessing, dresses that way to distract people from the depressing image in the frame.)

Centerfield wrote: ↑Wed Jan 30, 2019 10:33 am *Um. Let's go hang out in our lobby.

*I would guess BG has the most interesting search history of all of us.

*Doesn't the winning cover do a world tour before getting installed in the lobby? Or am I mixing things up.

YES-PEDES went on a world tour after it was displaced by CES BOOM BAH! (You may recall it was hanging in the Louvre next to the Mona Lisa, with Lucas Duda in attendance.)

There does always seem to be quite a bit going on in the lobby. That security guard of ours is a bit on the freaky side.

And what, you've never done a Google image search on "shirtless fat guys"?

MFS62 wrote: ↑Wed Jan 30, 2019 9:21 am

Lefty Specialist wrote: ↑Wed Jan 30, 2019 8:53 am People at work are wondering why I'm giggling like a schoolgirl.

Don't you do that all the time?

Later

Yeah, but this time I had a REASON.

I don't need one, but I may buy a shower curtain anyway.

Also, how do you pronounce "Juni"? Is it:

a. JOON-EE

b. HOON-EE

c. YOON-EE

d. HEY-YOON-EE

You'll have to check with Gary Cohen.

Lotsa fun, truly the highlight of our off-season activities every year. It was close
for awhile. Gunky Pebblehead begged me to reinstate him when it was tied so he could
vote for SMILE HIGH and right the ship but I had to tell him, 'dude, once your banned -
your banned.'



Got a super low bid going on eBay for this so I can play year round. Don't anyone be
a weenie and try and drive the action up. I saw it first.

Oh, one additional piece of information: Next year, for the first time, the Tabloid Cover Derby will be operating on a fiscal year. In the past, December covers have fallen through the cracks. The 2019 TCD will include all covers that debuted too late to be included in 2018, starting with these two covers from November 29, 2018:

In accepting his Cy Young at the BBWAA dinner last weekend, deGrom did make mention that he was a little sorry he "didn't win the big award," which I now understand to mean sharing a shower with Maja's lovely cousin Brigid.

I have mixed feelings.

I mean, I'm pleased as punch that senior leadership put Grimmy in charge of the TCD, and marvel at the work he's done. But I can't help but regret that he was tapped to oversee our internship program. It's simply a major lawsuit waiting to happen.

I'm a little upset that protesters flew the Trump Baby Balloon, but honestly, America's in a rough spot internationally right now, so I get it.

Edgy MD wrote: ↑Wed Jan 30, 2019 12:53 pm I have mixed feelings.

I mean, I'm pleased as punch that senior leadership put Grimmy in charge of the TCD, and marvel at the work he's done. But I can't help but regret that he was tapped to oversee our internship program. It's simply a major lawsuit waiting to happen.

He tries to shirk responsibility for Juni, and paints her as an outlier. But the intern in the back there shows you his process is flawed. Or not flawed. Depending on your perspective.