News You Can't Use

[Edgy MD]

One per post, name a highly publicized celebrity who, apart from regonizing their names from clickable headlines that insist you should care, you wouldn't know from Adam.

Feel free to add, "I know that guy. He's a wrestler with a reality show about kitemaking! But here's somebody I don't know ... ."

Bonus points if you don't know if the card you play is a person about whom you're unsure if they are even male or female; child or adult; black, white or Osage. But somehow, you can spell their name.

I've got to open with Jussie Smollett. Who the hell is that ... guy?

[Benjamin Grimm]

I do know who he is. The actor from Empire who staged his own mugging, or something like that.

For me, it's Paige Spiranac. Google News frequently feeds me stories about her.

[Edgy MD]

Google News is watching out for you.

[Benjamin Grimm]

Do you know who Paige is?

[Edgy MD]

No idea.

[Frayed Knot]

She has something to do with golf -- although I have no idea that means she's involved in promoting the game or if she actually plays the game professionally or is merely fucking someone who does -- and I think
pictures of her often involve very little clothing. That's all I got.



But who or what is a 'Post Malone'?

[Lefty Specialist]

For me, it's that Gut doctor who BEGS me to throw away this unnamed vegetable NOW!

https://anewscafe.com/2019/09/03/reddin ... %20serious.

[Benjamin Grimm]

I checked... Paige is a golfer. And she's pretty happenin'!



I had never heard of Post Malone. I figured it was either a basketball player or a breakfast cereal. I was wrong on both counts! He's a singer/songwriter who apparently likes to scribble on his face.

[Frayed Knot]

I didn't even know who he was back when he was Pre Malone.

[LWFS]

Post Malone plays a lot with autotune. He had a song in the "Spider-Verse" movie. You guys are old. GET A SHARPIE AND A MIRROR, AND GET WITH THE PROGRAM, OLDIES!

Bari Weiss is somebody both my Twitter feed and my various social media news feeds want me to not only know about, but be INCENSED about.

She writes for the Times, I hear? Anyone know more?

[kcmets]

Paige, the golfer, has some big knees!

[Frayed Knot]

I just assumed that Post Malone was whichever character Ted Danson played following the cancellation of CHEERS

[Edgy MD]

Post Malone Is...

1) The play call that got Mo Cheeks into the Hall of Fame.
2) Diane's romantic life after moving on from Sam.
3) The sad desperation of Burt Reynolds' career from 1987 onward.
4) A delivery company started by Karl Malone after taking his nickname of "The Mailman" a bit too seriously.
5) A tasty new whiskey-flavored breakfast cereal.

[Fman99]

I checked... Paige is a golfer. And she's pretty happenin'!

I'm sporting a 1-iron over here

[Johnny Lunchbucket]

Reminds me to work on my stroke.

[Lefty Specialist]

[MFS62]

She might be a bogey on the golf course, but she's a eagle in my heart.
Later

[Methead]

Takes huge tracts of land to build a golf course.

[Frayed Knot]

So there is apparently some guy named Travis Scott, and he apparently has a McDonald's meal named after him, but there are apparently some issues with that meal.
But I, as should be quite apparent by now, have no answers to any of the above.

[MFS62]

Emily Ratajkowski's publicist has been busy because I keep seeing her name in the "Trending" news almost every day.
For example:
https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/emi ... 33286.html

And I still can't figure out why we should care about her.

Later

[Fman99]

Emily Ratajkowski's publicist has been busy because I keep seeing her name in the "Trending" news almost every day.
For example:
https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/emi ... 33286.html

And I still can't figure out why we should care about her.

Later

I would suggest looking at photos of her. Not that I care what she says or thinks, really, any more than I care what any super model thinks. But she looks good in a pair of ladies undewear that's jammed up in her poopwagon.

[Edgy MD]

Jasmine Tooks and Lily Collins each got engaged this week!

[Edgy MD]

Joe Rogan warns Jake Paul that Dillon Danis is 'top of the food chain' after the influencer hurled water balloons at him in a bid to get Conor McGregor's attention

Well, who didn't see that coming?

[Fman99]

<deleted because I forgot the point of this thread because it's Monday and don't judge me all right just fuck off!>

[whippoorwill]

Actually that post is perfect for this thread lol