2021 CHAMPION COVER
THAT'S ALMORA!
Newsday, April 26, 2021.
THAT'S ALMORA arrived in Stockholm by way of one of the Wizard of Oz flying monkeys. In the years since the 1939 movie, the Flying Monkeys have established a worldwide courier service that is known for its reliable service and occasional strange odors.
Our winning cover was welcomed to Stockholm with a traditional Swedish dance performed by the legendary Tidningsomslag Dansgrupp in the city's Rålambshovsparken park.
The ceremony to unveil the winning cover was attended by the ghost of former UN Secretary-General Dag Hammarskjöld; Mr. Slate, the president of the Slate and Gravel Corporation (a major TCD sponsor); Princess Estella, the future Queen of Sweden; the ghost of Leo Durocher, who had been a candidate to be Buck Showalter's bench coach but instead accepted a position with the Mets as their Afterlife Coordinator; CPF receptionist and reality star Maja, and the ghost of Dean Martin, who made a special appearance to croon an ode to the winning cover:
When a guy hits the wall
When he's catching a ball
That's Almora!
As is customary, the winning cover is now on display in the lobby of the Kran Pool Forum Internationella Huvudkontoret, the CPF's International Headquarters. As has been widely reported, citizens of Stockholm are currently stoically enduring a swarm of giant praying mantises. After the ceremony, Maja changed her clothes and returned to her post at the reception desk. She was accompanied by the ghost of Dean Martin. In the foreground, we see 2021's Intern of the Year, Kajsa.
The winning cover is once again available as a shower curtain! You can get a THAT'S ALMORA! shower curtain of your own at the CPF Gift Shop. Show your membership card for a 15 per cent discount!
Last year's winner, METS GREAT SEAVER DIES, has joined its predecessors on display at the Royal Academy of Fine Arts in Stockholm, where the six covers are protected around the clock by an armed member of the Swedish Royal Guard.
As a result of his appearance on the winning cover, Albert Almora will receive a gigantic box of Rice-a-Roni, the San Francisco Treat. To honor his second-place finish, Mets infielder Jeff McNeil will receive a copy of the Tabloid Cover Derby Home Video Game, available for sale wherever deeply unpopular toys and games are sold.
Thank you to everyone who participated in this year's Tabloid Cover Derby!
We'll return for a eighth year of voting in November 2022!
The Tabloid Cover Derby is grateful for the support of its corporate sponsors:
- The Quaker Oats Company. It's something to smile about!
- Activision Publishing. Every voice matters.
- The Slate and Gravel Company. Serving all of your slate and gravel needs since prehistoric times.
- Flying Monkey Couriers Ltd. Make your next delivery a Flying Monkey delivery!
A special thanks to our various CPF spokesmodels (Shelby, Marissa, Kira, Bob, Betty, Jerry, and Stranger) who traveled throughout Long Island to showcase our winning covers. We appreciate their service as tireless promoters of the Tabloid Cover Derby.
Hofstra University, Hempstead, NY. Models Marissa and Shelby.
Adventureland, Farmingdale, NY. Models Marissa and Shelby.
Hecksher State Park, East Islip, NY. Models Marissa and Shelby.
Atlantis Marine World Aquarium, Riverhead, NY. Models Shelby and Jerry.
Sagamore Hill, Oyster Bay, NY. Models Marissa and Shelby.
Long Island Expressway. Models Marissa and Shelby.
H. Lee Dennison Building, Hauppauge, NY. Models Bob and Betty.
Cold Spring Harbor Whaling Museum, Cold Spring Harbor, NY. Models Marissa and Shelby.
Orient Point Lighthouse, Orient Point, NY. Models Marissa and Kira.
Ben Rebhuhn house, by Frank Lloyd Wright, Great Neck Estates, NY. Models Kira and Shelby.
Gurney's Inn, Montauk, NY. Models Shelby's hastily generated clone and Shelby.
Windmill House, Amagansett, NY. Models Marissa and Betty.
Jones Beach, NY. Models Marissa and Shelby.
Roosevelt Field Mall, Garden City, NY. Models Bob and Jerry.
Shinnecock Canal, Hampton Bays, NY. Models Stranger and Kira.
The Big Duck, Flanders, NY. Models Marissa and Shelby.
Montauk Lighthouse, Montauk, NY. Models Kira and Shelby.
Nassau Coliseum, Uniondale, NY. Models Marissa and Shelby.
The Smithtown Bull, Smithtown, NY. Models Marissa and Shelby.
Robert Moses State Park. Models Kira and Shelby.
Long Island Welcome Center, Dix Hills, NY. Models Marissa and Shelby.
Port Jefferson Ferry, Port Jefferson, NY. Models Marissa and Shelby.
Fire Island Lighthouse, Fire Island, NY. Models Marissa and Shelby.
